o hey i rock i *heart* my life....
i went driving today
i have a eye doc apppt today... well what i think is today...
I love life.....
*really wish i could believe it*
o man I gotta stop this.... I swear its killing me; the building up and letting down.... ouch
omg its like no one even the courtesy to tell me he went w/sumne else. I had to find it out on my own....
you are so perfectly hatelfull
perfect in everyway
hateable in every aspect
and the B.E.S.T things is....
everyone thinks ur perfect
because u are...
and u kno it...
and u kno everyone but me
and u seem to care about everyone
BuT me..
I want u
I want to stay far Far FAR away from u
cuz it hurts
yea U wouldn't kno it
but rejection does hurt...
o man why do I care? because i do because he is just himm i guess.. o WTH i am done,
done thinkinig bout this thinking about how it hurts (and dont believe it doesnt! u fool) i am just DONE
*cuz it hurts tooo much*
bad thing is=everytime i see him i start it all over again...
I *heart* drummers lol j/c here with my grl Blondie7988 havn some fun or tryn too.... lookin at some interesting houses lol tryn to pass sum time... ok w/e i'mm out leave me summmmmmmmmm
muchas loves
o man o man I really needa leave my house its crazy.... i forget why now but it is...
um lets think... u kno what i cant think of y right now but it is crazy per usuall....
God it hurts to think about guys
I am depressed...
and i have no idea what to do about it....
school was ok.... per usuall
*if u ever have kids please PLEASE take care of them yourself and dont make ur other kids do it they dont like it very much*
AAH that's what i wnated to say !!!!!!!!! its metallica godsmack concert day and i am NOT there but at home missing a once in a lifetime show featuring two of my fav bands!!! thnx to the 'rents grrr i am the koolest person alive
*going to find something to lose myself in before I get angery and more depresed*
yea i kno i said i was gna work on the desperate thingy but can u see why i held off??? (see above and consider my life ok thats pushing it) k gtg now
wish i was somewhere else prefferably with him...
wish you were here....
oh God why does it hurt? cuz its NEVA gna happen so why do I CaRe!!!??? *sigh* and I cant let it out cuz i am too chickn!! grrr I hate myself sometimes but is it really me? or just that he's untimately forevery untainable (alil overboard but i'm in the mood so leave me alone !jk) ok done ranting for now actually u can probbly disregrad the thing b4 the ().... but still maybe not....
geting tired of this family thing agian my mom sewed all the collar buttons oon to my shirts WHO CARES IF THEY ARE DONE OR NOT??? grrrr i needa get my own place...
i luve the way my family works.. something goes wrong and only certian people kno about it! its gr8 i luv it (and if u are missing the sarcasm u need help or should look up the def of sarcasm and apply it to the previous)
ok done agian lam if u kno a way out of this for me... thnx lol i sound really desperate... i have to work on that and not be so clingy and dependant..... *working on it** ttyl
I called it.! I said she would kick me out as soon as she found out that I was cleaning up....
Maybe she knows she was wrong cuz she was!... I was jkd nothing mad or anything just trying to be kool about it
Whatever I can tell u that I am OUT ASAP and i hate this... school, this, everything, I need some space
Seven people is way to many to live in one house in 2004...
O yea and when u have kids take care of them YOURSELF!!
I'm not gna make it...
I push my fingers into my eyes its the only thing that slowly stops the ache if the pain goes on....
What is her problem??
I cant think of anything to write for this dumb esssy.... i hate school esp.. HOn history!
2hours later....
okay much better mood ^__^ *sigh* headphones work wonders.....
and Christian music too...
history is 3/5 complete (3outa5 paras done)
anyway the thing before was crazy
I was working in the kitchen and my sister shut the door on my arm so i was like "way to shut the door on my arm there" and my mom freaked out on me. She was like screaming at me about how my sister didn't feel good (which no one told ME) and how I was trying to get out of work and then she told me to leave, I was like no way cuz I gota finish the table so she takes my arm and drags me out of the kitchen and starts pushing me away all while yelling "Get out just leave!!!" So I watched TV for all of like two minutes and at dinner she wouldn't look at me and then I was cleaning up the kitchen, not cuz I was in trouble but cuz that's what I do after dinner. My mom came in and as you know kicks me out to work on my essay.....
yay i love my life...
if i was invisible... o wait I already am...
yea I swear I'm invisible at least to people i want to talk to/know but to everyone esle there I AM..
ok i guess i wil be done for now. Next week another installment of ThE LiFe Of AnNe!!!! lol o yea i'm sure ur all waitng on the edge of ur seat dieing from anticipation..
**much luves and hugs ( i need a hug now please..)
wow I def def definently have been here in a while... so what's up w/me u wonder... I kno u do cuz if u didn't u wouldn't be here ! HA gotcha sucka! lol hehe I love jokes where only I am laughing HAHAHAHA HA ha.... ok not funny nemore....
so really now lemme see...
*school startered (bad thing)
*Gloria went to the Slipknot concert yesterday (note to self ask her how it was)
*went to greensburgh and screwed up bigtime there o well it was fun while it lasted... cept for sunday cuz people were just messed up!!
*um quit tastee freez!!!! YEA MEEE
*met Tom and MAtt< really annoying!
*went to the 'purple shirt picnic' turns out i am related to like 220 sum people.. .kinda scary specailly cuz they are all like me only worse... think about that...
tha's basically it summer ended all done...
OMG METALLICA AND GODSMACK are coming to da burg' on 9/22 AAHHHHHHHHHH i *heart* them both
sweett.....
o and like the Vmas are all on tonite and WHY?? i ask do people watch that stuff like omg they should b recooping from ozzfest yesterday not watching rap! i have decided that i pretty much do NOT like rap ne more and it is a bad thing! (Gloria and AC are to blame for this) but I am into alot of rock now not as much as Gloria but still into it...
aight well i am going to leave now and debate on my life or not! that's right I am a positve out going person not dwelling on my negative bad side (unless it grows and consumes me like that book i read it was kinda wierd but w/e i think i need sleep i have been up since like 3am today) ok going to dwell on positve like not guys they are not postive things like sleep is positve!!! ok i am going to sleep now b4 sum1 needs to slap me to make me sane
buhbyes!!!!
wow now i am way to happy to go to sleep i think i am manic depressive like Axl Rose tha's what Gloria sayd to me one day i haven't forgot it
OK DEFINENTLY leaving NOW
B/C i am scaring myself its like my fingers are bewitched
now i sound like Clare i luv chica she is really funny
omg speaking of funny in the olympics this Irish guy (Irish people rock) tackled the lead runner inthis marathon and made him come in third HAHAHA
*ouch* just slapped myself
ok ttyl
wow... someone please help me....
ummmmm... i am reallly really tired and sleepy my aunt is here from Chicago with her kids and they are under 7 so it's crazy but they just went to bed along with the other lil peoples...
it got so crazy earlieri ahd to go take a walk and now i am going to sleep so wmL (write more later)
on a brighter note my class is over tomro!!!!!!! YEAEAAAA
O man and I want a bf.. i wish i could make it stop its hurting her so bad and messing with her head.
i wish i knw what to say or do but i dont.... why does she always pick the guys who take her for granted?? for once i wish that she would get a guy who would treat her like the person she is, a treasure...
God I want to kill him!!! it kills me watching her this way hopefully this will be the last straw... maybe when she moves she will give him up for good, it might be hard but with her friends it will b easier than living with the constant pain and dissappiontmen
*major big sigh....*
crap! why does my sister keep looking over my shoulder?? i need my own place!!!
*MY FANTASY*
a one bedroom apartment with king size bed and a lil porch/balcony thing, a stereo and a nice flatscreen, a closet full of clothes I bought and like and a little draw full of stuff to wear to my parent's. Oh I also need a cool truck with AC and a sweet sound system and eventually a BMW (2 door with a sunroof). A good job and maybe a pet... i have to think about that!
back to previous thoughts...
maybe i need to be a better friend, i'm not always there for her... somtimes i think she's the only reason i know so many people and i feel like i use her sometimes without really knowing it... but i dno cuz aren't u supposed to meet people through other people... i dno and then there was that day i totaly was a B to her. ... sry*
aight well bbl w/mor l8r hopefully going to play monopoly w/ben and meg