[Delusions of Granduer]'s diary

385941  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-10-20
Written: (7339 days ago)

ok since i am in this diary writing phase mayb could anyone possilbly tell me what they thing or just drop a line in the GuEsTbOoK.... *hint*

384825  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-19
Written: (7340 days ago)

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you

I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

I could be cold
I could be ruthless
You know I could be just like you

I could be weak
I could be senseless
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

On my own, cause I can�t take liven with you
I�m alone, so I won�t turn out like you
Want me to

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You�re wrong if you think that I�ll be just like you

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you

--->Just like You
{Three Days Grace}


-------------------------------------------------------------


for lotsa kool people i *heart* u all

--

384820  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-19
Written: (7340 days ago)
Next in thread: 386908

kool we had a ghetto half day (aka 1:30 dismis when we noramlly get out at 2:30) umm yea and what did i do? get on ET Go me.....

Go volleyball.... last game...

should go do sum homework but w/e blast that!

i wish my new glasses would come in.....
(ya ima dork i wear glasses cuz i have to.)

wait u kno that im me.... lol only i kno why this is funny but if you looked hard enought u would figure it out.... or maybe not depends on the person



Man's prayer
Ima man
I can change
If I have to
I guess....

ya that rocks o yes

*watch the new red and green show* veryy funny

the X rox my sox

did u kno that sock is stock w/o the t? it is!

beasties also rock my sox

yay!!

i needa slim it down... *needa start*

i hate gym. why do we have to take it all FOUR frieggkn years?

brooklyn in the back

ok i love life *psych!*

mca

offspring rocks

cangilla hates me or just ignores me, maybe cuza that thing.... yea that could be it or (as usually like always) it could just be ME!! yea that's prob it

but i needa stop now so i dont like get all depressed

i really hate hon. english and the imp of being earnst like ok WHO RELAALy CAREs? not me....

*goes to find lyrics to 3dayzgrace*

omg i almost deleted this entry tryng to find three days grace lyrics!? O.o Bad BAD

after i put the lyrics in i am gna go so... yea Good Luck sarah and melick and everyone elses

yea me yay God yay LiFe!.........

384127  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-19
Written: (7341 days ago)

ok yea besides being invisble people have absolutely NO faith in me... ok i was telling my dad that i wanted to work at a landscapers place over the summer and he was like 'o it sooo hard ask ur uncles... blah blah blah' he did the same thing when i told him about military schooll... grrr i wish i was sumone else, respected, noticeable, likeable (i think i am but hey no one else does) and all that jazz... i wish i was RAngeman

383801  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-18
Written: (7341 days ago)

yea major dairy day! w/e i *heart* rothlisberger.!! steelers 24 dallas 20 BOO YA dalllas we kicked yo ace! o yes we did!

gloria is making a cool cd i am so ExCiteD

383796  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-18
Written: (7341 days ago)

sickness spilling through your eyes,
craving everything that you thought was alive,
stab me in my heart again
drag me through your wasted life,
are you forever dead?
do like i told you, stay away from me
never misunderstand me, keep away from me
twistin everything around that you say
smack me in my mouth 200 times every other day
rag me, i don't hear you anymore,
not yet, find out what it means to me.
i don't know who you are
draggin on so lonely, aren't you tired baby.
breathing life into your lungs,
are you immune to me?
-Godsmack keep away

I�ve told you this once before can�t control me
If you try to take me down you�re gonna break
I feel your having nothing that you�re doing for me
I�m thinkin you are a fake, you are that way
I stand alone
Inside I stand alone
You�re always hiding behind your so called goddess
So what you don�t think that we can�t see your face
Resurrecting back before the final fallen
I�ll never rest until I can make my own way
I�m not afraid of fading
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me
I�m not tired forever
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside I stand alone
Now it�s my time
It�s my time to dream
Dream of the sky
Make me believe that this place isn�t made by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out before you can breathe
Breathe into me
I stand alone
Inside I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me
I�m not tired forever
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside I stand alone
Inside I stand alone inside
-Godsmack again
^mayb i'll put these in my house

383792  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-18
Written: (7341 days ago)

hey!!! guess what I might go to a military academy for college and get paid to do it. and cuz the good ol' government's paying for it I might get a car!!!!!

YEA that helped my afternoon..... o yes very much i am in a much better mood now.....

bad day... what's nEw?

yes i love it ooo soooooooo much when people act like Sthds....

saw sumone last night, i swear somepeople dont care that i exist! and others only pretend to... or they do and just dont care at alll.....then agian maybe its me... actually it probably is cuz its nevA no one ELSES fault but mine...

ok done being boring and gay...

hey chang'n my name donkno what yet but prob sumthhin with black rose or widow and prob 22 or 87

OMG Glenn CUT his hair *please excuse me while i cry* *tear* i cant believe it. personally i dont like it... its just not Glenn... i miss him

yay heh my day just got a lil more better cuz grim is playing sum Godsmack on the X 105.9

dont u love the way i talk like i actually kno the DJ's? then again they are my only friends

382280  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-10-16
Written: (7343 days ago)

001: Name: u wish...
002: Nickname: umm cant remember now
003: Country of living: u.s. Of A
004: Birth date: 11*22
005: Length: You mean height? 5ft 10in
006: Eye color: Dark Brown
007: Shoe size: big HuGh 9
008: School/work: all chix school, no job anyone know of an opening
009: You smoke: not now.
010: Hobby's: listening to music, ET [Delusions of Granduer], youth group, trying to draw, write, movies
011: Brothers/Sisters: yea like 4 grrrr
012: Relationship: excuse me while i laugh (HA) no unfortunately workin' on it tho....
013: Piercing(s): 2bl ears.
014: Tattoo: None.... yet ~_^
015: Favorite Country to go to: haven't left ol' uncle sam yet but prob Ireland
016: Are there people you won't reply to? Yes they are normaly stupid
017: Nicest person you met this year: Lydia, Kayleen, Bill,
018: Person you rather not have met this year: Fav, annoying lil freshies
019: Who would you like to meet: and Ben Rothlisberger, and Sully Erna
020: Who do you admire most:Jesus
021: Most sexy person(s): Brittany (lol jk) military dude at school, umm
022: Favorite Pajama: shorts and a cami
023: Favorite Car: BMW, trucks (hardcore trucks)
024: Favorite Movie(s): Athur, POTC, Star Wars IJ, Raising Helen, Die Hard, Demolition man, MP and the Holy Grail
025: Favorite music: RoCk BaBY!!! umm sum other stuff country a bit alt.a bit
026: Favorite City(s): Pgh or Chicago
027: Favorite Plush: hmmm couldnt tell cuz i aint sure
028: Favorite Perfume: addias aderline
029: Favorite Magazine: hmmm
030: Favorite sound: Music
031: Favorite TV-series: Gilmore girls, top model
032: Favorite Writer: Janet Evanovich; Elizabeth Peters
033: Favorite Nickname: stocker
034: What is on your mousepad: concrete..?
035: What all is under your bed: cd's, pics,randomness .
036: Favorite colour: Silver, black, blue, hot P…
037: Favorite Song ever: Miracle VH, Serenity GS
038: Favorite song at this moment: Downfall Trust Co.
039: Favorite food: circus peanuts, cheesebread, salsa at jess's
040: Favorite class in school: religion (randomeness), computer
041: Favorite drink: like a real Drink? umm whiskey and JD but in gen. milk
042: Lucky numbers: 7, 15, 22.
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: 'witty' (read sarcastic) personality
044: What deodorant do you use: um lite purple plastic thingy w.the green stripe on the bottm
045: Favorite shoes: Flip Flops.
046: What time do you go to bed on workdays: 10
047: What word do you use most: the,
048: Most romantic moment in your life: romantic moment? please remind cuz i dont think i kno what that is...
049: Most embarrassing moment in your life: public/private? intl/extl? u dont wana kno.. way to many....
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: OuTdOoRs
051: What do you do in the weekends: YG hang out HW
052: What class on school do/did you dislike most: history! demon lady!
053: Your Breakfast: Cheerio's and OJ oldschool here...
054: What do you really, really dislike to eat:mashed taters or any thing mushy like cooked carrots
055: Pets: do siblings count?
056: Laugh or dream: both
057: Serious or funny: depends when
058: Fast or slow:when? *_^
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: well i only know one way... so alone i guess freedom and all that
060: Simple or Complicated: agian i ask when?
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: Buried.
062: Sex or alcohol: hmm couldn't tell ya
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: late
064: Light or dark: Dark.
065: Speak or Silence: silence
066: Tall or small man/woman: tall woman
067: Newspaper: yes. couldnt live w.o it
068: Hug or kiss: hug cuz that's all i ever get
069: Happy or Sad: happy more fun/sad more often.
070: Life or Death: loving living, God's in dying so i dkno
071: Gig or Disco: gig
072: Left or Right: right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: side
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: Dark and gorgeous
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: How?
076: You believe in reincarnation: nope but it would be fun especially if you know what's going on when u come bak
077: You believe in Aliens:undecided but prob yea... do u really believe we are the only people here in this big ol' universe?
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: its all been done...
079: Does true love exists: For some…
080: How many kids would you like to have: NONE!
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: people who cant take care of their own lives by themselves well like the day to day stuff ima teen i kno big hard evil stuff comes up but dont push it to excess
082: Best feeling: being hugged by a good friend, or lying in bed byurself just watching the world go by while u think and listen to music, one word: Adoration
083: Worst feeling in the world: regret, knowing u need to do something that is agianst all u are
084: What are you afraid of: coal mines, not being included
085: Are you an emotional person: not in public but nightime is the worst.... and that's all i'm sayn
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: yea
087: Your goal in life: To live alone and have lots of friends, money, and GOD
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at New Year’s eve: take care of my bod, be nicer... do u want a list?
089: Who's your favorite artist: umm notta big art fan
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: I thought I said I didn't believe in this... but an eagle would be sweet
091: What is the most beautiful part on the male/female body: eyes the windows to the soul....
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: sitting on a rock in the middle of a crik while fishing... forget about that rod man...
096: Do you get in trouble a lot: where? *_^ home YES, school sumtimes, prev job aLwAyS
097: Favorite anime: not a major anime fan... sry:+(
098: Star sign: sagitarious
099: Favorite animal: rotweiller doggy
100: Is there a question you missed in this all: u expect me to kno this?

380608  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-10-15
Written: (7345 days ago)

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair
i hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you s.t.a.r.e
i hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
i hate you so much it makes me sick;
it even makes me rhyme
I HaTe iT!,
I hate the way you're always right
i hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me LaUgH,
even worse when you make me c~r~y
I hate it that you're not ¿around?
and the fact that you didn't ((call))
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close,
not even a little bit,
 not even at all:-\

372793  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-10-06
Written: (7354 days ago)

ok so i can see much better now.... yay

but people still wont talk to me... o jeez i think i am disease

I really dislike the attitudes of some popels at school

372383  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (7354 days ago)

psycho crazy docoor i cant see no more!!!!!! grrr (please ecxuse bad typing)

well i dno i dkno i dkno grrrr i should prob do hw but i dont feel like it...

mmm i *heart* starbucks....

i wish i knew.....
-----------------------------
its no gna happen       
its not gna last        
its just gna hurt
this is just gna end
only to start all over agian

ok so yea i am going cuz no on wants to talk to me probalbyu cuz i cant tupe with my messed up eyes

it has to start somewhere
it has to start sometime
what better place thatn here
what better time thatn now....

372382  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (7354 days ago)

psycho crazy docoor i cant see no more!!!!!! grrr (please ecxuse bad typing)

well i dno i dkno i dkno grrrr i should prob do hw but i dont feel like it...

mmm i *heart* starbucks....

i wish i knew.....
-----------------------------
its no gna happen       
its not gna last        
its just gna hurt
this is just gna end
only to start all over agian

ok so yea i am going cuz no on wants to talk to me probalbyu cuz i cant tupe with my messed up eyes

it has to start somewhere
it has to start sometime
what better place thatn here
what better time thatn now....

371702  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (7355 days ago)

o hey i rock i *heart* my life....

i went driving today
i have a eye doc apppt today... well what i think is today...
I love life.....





*really wish i could believe it*

371701  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (7355 days ago)

o man I gotta stop this.... I swear its killing me; the building up and letting down.... ouch

omg its like no one even the courtesy to tell me he went w/sumne else. I had to find it out on my own....

you are so perfectly hatelfull
perfect in everyway
hateable in every aspect
and the B.E.S.T things is....
everyone thinks ur perfect
because u are...
and u kno it...
and u kno everyone but me
and u seem to care about everyone
BuT me..
I want u
I want to stay far Far FAR away from u
cuz it hurts
yea U wouldn't kno it
but rejection does hurt...

o man why do I care? because i do because he is just himm i guess.. o WTH i am done,
done thinkinig bout this thinking about how it hurts (and dont believe it doesnt! u fool) i am just DONE

*cuz it hurts tooo much*

bad thing is=everytime i see him i start it all over again...

367354  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-30
Written: (7359 days ago)

I *heart* drummers lol j/c here with my grl Blondie7988 havn some fun or tryn too.... lookin at some interesting houses lol tryn to pass sum time... ok w/e i'mm out leave me summmmmmmmmm

muchas loves

359644  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-23
Written: (7367 days ago)

o man o man I really needa leave my house its crazy.... i forget why now but it is...

um lets think... u kno what i cant think of y right now but it is crazy per usuall....

God it hurts to think about guys

I am depressed...

and i have no idea what to do about it....

school was ok.... per usuall

*if u ever have kids please PLEASE take care of them yourself and dont make ur other kids do it they dont like it very much*

AAH that's what i wnated to say !!!!!!!!! its metallica godsmack concert day and i am NOT there but at home missing a once in a lifetime show featuring two of my fav bands!!! thnx to the 'rents grrr i am the koolest person alive

*going to find something to lose myself in before I get angery and more depresed*

yea i kno i said i was gna work on the desperate thingy but can u see why i held off??? (see above and consider my life ok thats pushing it) k gtg now

wish i was somewhere else prefferably with him...

358566  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-22
Written: (7368 days ago)

wish you were here....

oh God why does it hurt? cuz its NEVA gna happen so why do I CaRe!!!??? *sigh* and I cant let it out cuz i am too chickn!! grrr I hate myself sometimes but is it really me? or just that he's untimately forevery untainable (alil overboard but i'm in the mood so leave me alone !jk) ok done ranting for now actually u can probbly disregrad the thing b4 the ().... but still maybe not....

geting tired of this family thing agian my mom sewed all the collar buttons oon to my shirts WHO CARES IF THEY ARE DONE OR NOT??? grrrr i needa get my own place...

i luve the way my family works.. something goes wrong and only certian people kno about it! its gr8 i luv it (and if u are missing the sarcasm u need help or should look up the def of sarcasm and apply it to the previous)

ok done agian lam if u kno a way out of this for me... thnx lol i sound really desperate... i have to work on that and not be so clingy and dependant..... *working on it** ttyl

355653  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-09-19
Written: (7371 days ago)
Next in thread: 356977

I called it.! I said she would kick me out as soon as she found out that I was cleaning up....
Maybe she knows she was wrong cuz she was!... I was jkd nothing mad or anything just trying to be kool about it
Whatever I can tell u that I am OUT ASAP and i hate this... school, this, everything, I need some space
Seven people is way to many to live in one house in 2004...
O yea and when u have kids take care of them YOURSELF!!
I'm not gna make it...
I push my fingers into my eyes its the only thing that slowly stops the ache if the pain goes on....
What is her problem??

I cant think of anything to write for this dumb esssy.... i hate school esp.. HOn history!

2hours later....

okay much better mood ^__^ *sigh* headphones work wonders.....
and Christian music too...
history is 3/5 complete (3outa5 paras done)
anyway the thing before was crazy
I was working in the kitchen and my sister shut the door on my arm so i was like "way to shut the door on my arm there" and my mom freaked out on me. She was like screaming at me about how my sister didn't feel good (which no one told ME) and how I was trying to get out of work and then she told me to leave, I was like no way cuz I gota finish the table so she takes my arm and drags me out of the kitchen and starts pushing me away all while yelling "Get out just leave!!!" So I watched TV for all of like two minutes and at dinner she wouldn't look at me and then I was cleaning up the kitchen, not cuz I was in trouble but cuz that's what I do after dinner. My mom came in and as you know kicks me out to work on my essay.....

yay i love my life...

if i was invisible... o wait I already am...

yea I swear I'm invisible at least to people i want to talk to/know but to everyone esle there I AM..

ok i guess i wil be done for now. Next week another installment of ThE LiFe Of AnNe!!!! lol o yea i'm sure ur all waitng on the edge of ur seat dieing from anticipation...

**much luves and hugs ( i need a hug now please..)

336676  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-08-30
Written: (7391 days ago)
Next in thread: 337471

wow I def def definently have been here in a while... so what's up w/me u wonder... I kno u do cuz if u didn't u wouldn't be here ! HA gotcha sucka! lol hehe I love jokes where only I am laughing HAHAHAHA HA ha.... ok not funny nemore....

so really now lemme see...
*school startered (bad thing)
*Gloria went to the Slipknot concert yesterday (note to self ask her how it was)
*went to greensburgh and screwed up bigtime there o well it was fun while it lasted... cept for sunday cuz people were just messed up!!
*um quit tastee freez!!!! YEA MEEE
*met Tom and MAtt< really annoying!
*went to the 'purple shirt picnic' turns out i am related to like 220 sum people.. .kinda scary specailly cuz they are all like me only worse... think about that...

tha's basically it summer ended all done...

OMG METALLICA AND GODSMACK are coming to da burg' on 9/22 AAHHHHHHHHHH i *heart* them both

sweett.....

o and like the Vmas are all on tonite and WHY?? i ask do people watch that stuff like omg they should b recooping from ozzfest yesterday not watching rap! i have decided that i pretty much do NOT like rap ne more and it is a bad thing! (Gloria and AC are to blame for this) but I am into alot of rock now not as much as Gloria but still into it...

aight well i am going to leave now and debate on my life or not! that's right I am a positve out going person not dwelling on my negative bad side (unless it grows and consumes me like that book i read it was kinda wierd but w/e i think i need sleep i have been up since like 3am today) ok going to dwell on positve like not guys they are not postive things like sleep is positve!!! ok i am going to sleep now b4 sum1 needs to slap me to make me sane

buhbyes!!!!

wow now i am way to happy to go to sleep i think i am manic depressive like Axl Rose tha's what Gloria sayd to me one day i haven't forgot it

OK DEFINENTLY leaving NOW

B/C i am scaring myself its like my fingers are bewitched
now i sound like Clare i luv chica she is really funny

omg speaking of funny in the olympics this Irish guy (Irish people rock) tackled the lead runner inthis marathon and made him come in third HAHAHA

*ouch* just slapped myself

ok ttyl

wow... someone please help me....

310487  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-08-05
Written: (7416 days ago)

ummmmm... i am reallly really tired and sleepy my aunt is here from Chicago with her kids and they are under 7 so it's crazy but they just went to bed along with the other lil peoples...

it got so crazy earlieri ahd to go take a walk and now i am going to sleep so wmL (write more later)

310488  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-08-04
Written: (7416 days ago)

on a brighter note my class is over tomro!!!!!!! YEAEAAAA

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