[Delusions of Granduer]'s diary

486543  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-03
Written: (7234 days ago)

nervous for steph.... realy hope its all goodd


The waters rising and I'm slipping under.
I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder.

fun fun fun i like that song... i know ima dork but o well sometimes its fun to be a dork

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

letting go.... to move on, last time.... last one... cuz this time i think i can

486301  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-02-02
Written: (7234 days ago)

ok wow really tired and i have to go out tonight.... emmmhhh

i dk i dont realy have much to say today... nothing to complain about... did the game show... meh it was ok after the first 5 minutes...and i am trying to put a song in my info but its tooo bigh.....bleh bleh bleh.. i hate history...i;m cold... aight gna go figure something out... yay! meh i feel so out of touch

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

exactly...

all i have is a mouth, I am a mean, bad inconsiderate person with a mouth that's just as bad....

484935  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-01
Written: (7236 days ago)

omg talking to him agian... and ready to kill myself... o jeez

so ya interesting days... lifenight=fun jsut the whole thing not jsut one part of it liek the entire thing omg and I got a softballl shirt!!!!!!!!! yay!!! lol i'ma dork... tonight went to HS with sarah!!!!!! yay! fun, met everyone down tthere... must say much better then some people i know... having typing issues tonight... steph is getting and opperation like a major one! omg please pray for her.... wow .... i am confused??

interesting quotes...

it's like chocolate milk... you just gotta have it

the greastest trick satan ever played was getting the world to believe he doesnt exsist

483256  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-29
Written: (7238 days ago)

in the exact same position only in probably more trouble.... cuz people would hate me, and even if that did happen, there'd be too much other stuff going on for anything else and then...well...time would stop
(i know what it means...) I think I could do it and I did want it cept something happend to prevent that (gotta stop before I get too far...)

steph is getting an oppernation... wow....

482880  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-29
Written: (7239 days ago)
Next in thread: 483098

me and the remote are taking a ten minute break O.o omg what is wrong with me?

there's a penny on the floor and you're gone
i'm trying to right what's wrong
a stronger man might do it with more grace

there's a penny on the floor and i'm wise
i look up to the skies
i cry and pray and i stare out into space

there's a penny on the floor and you're standing at the door
turn around and say goodbye
someone like you comes around just once a life

there's a penny on the floor and and i'm strong
i'll try to carry on
realizing no one can take your place

there's a penny on the floor and and i'm fine
i know it's gonna take some time
before i look at you without looking at my own face

there's a penny on the floor and it stays
as a tribute to the ways
you filled my soul with courage hope and grace
::Clarks::
^^^^
new anthem trying even harder to let it go... shhh dont tell the remote....!!!!!!!!

482749  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-01-28
Written: (7239 days ago)

the end will justify the pain it took us to get there

never love something so much that when fate takes it away your whole world will turn black

Its all a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense...

You see the hat???? I am MRS. NESSSBITTT!!!!-buzz lightyeaer.... my man

welll kiddies me and my remote have another blissfull friday night planned...sigh, the anticipation is kiliing me....what would i do w/o him...? i really couldn't tell ya...o boy I am losing it, or perhaps I just never had it! probably wont be here much in the next few days as my dad is mad at me for being on too long aight well dinner then to the couch for a romantic night with my bestest friend and love of my life!

482164  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-01-28
Written: (7240 days ago)

i have a 2 hour delayyyyyy yayyyy

482159  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-01-28
Written: (7240 days ago)

got the kelly clarkson cd today... well burned it, and I wonder why I feel stupid when I have no idea what's going on on weds. nights? lol i amze myslef lol

never love something so much that when it disappears your whole world goes black...

and yet another one bites the dust... good job living in the gray there buddy, but now you have offically made the move over to black...

482050  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-01-27
Written: (7240 days ago)

bored... last night was fun, chip yelling about war was kinda annoying, and of course me and britt's least favorite person was there, but hey what can you do? I wish guys wouldn't screw girls over, I wish they knew the difference between friends and friends with benefits because there is on. I swear guys only see in black and white (refer to the diary of [Wirey] for the black/white thoughts) but yea for everyone who's been screwed over by a guy I feel your pain...esp if you lose a good friend from the deal...

but ya...it's adam's birthday tomro!!!!! yay! omg its so scary evry i know seems to be getting so old!?!?!? o wow i am so gna miss these kids when they leave with the exceptions of poss. one.... b/c how can you miss someone you arent even friends with?

today was another normal boring day... bleh... i hate boring days... i need someone to come to school and mix it up, someone should come and shadow me that would be fun...

I really dont want this NHS game show to go on cuz honestly i am not sure if its gna work the way everyone thinks it will and ya... i dk it just seems weird...

well i gues i am out for now... more tomro cuz its friday!!!!!!!!

He's such a beautiful disaster

480517  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-01-26
Written: (7242 days ago)
Next in thread: 480518

wow interesing couple days....

March for Life = amzing... are you guys soulmates? just shut up! lol

and jess might out nick.. grl look out i dont want to discorage you cuz he seems nice now (key word seems) but i dk... its jsut too funnnyyyy

gtg gilmore girls and house is on

480507  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-01-26
Written: (7242 days ago)

i am tired and sick and depressed
and this is the last thing i need to do
but i must think of you
it's not like I can just forget
believe I have tried
but how can I forget when I remember you everywhere
and I know its not like you're trying to remind me
in fact its just the opposite
but everything reminds me of something you did or said
so maybe if you would stop being everywhere
so maybe if you would stop teasing me by your absence
or maybe if we talked this out
you would disappear
and I could forget
and not have to constantly think of you....

-------------------------------------------------------------

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

i truly do wish i could forget and it's not like i havent tried, its just that with all this stuff going on... everyone getting the perfect guy for them... i just keep remembering, but i do want to forget, MEH i sound like a fool... i guess I am

479133  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-01-23
Written: (7244 days ago)
Next in thread: 479653

omg Valentines Day will be funn this year... acutally it'll be depressing... o jeez let''s not start this now.. the Steelers are on soon... I am marching to save little children in like 12 hours yay! but I am not at the life house watching the game with all my favorite people *sad face* um um um um um ...... i forget..... o crap I hate it when that happens.... oooo yaaa now I remember I was going to complain about somethng (how did I forget that?) ya well hopefully tomro a very annoying person that I really am not a big fan of will not be there (britt knows b/c she's not a big fan of her either) welll meh i sound like an idiot... o well what's new? lol didn't have to take my SATs yesterday yay... snows good for something I guess... meh meh meh i dk probably gna leave now ttyl kidds *big sigh*

Our Father, who art in Pittsburgh, football be thy name. Thy kingdom come, 4 Super Bowls won, on earth as it is in Heinz Field. Give us this day a playoff victory, and forgive us our penalties, as we defeat those who play against us. And lead us into a victory, and deliver us to Jacksonville.

                          Amen.

GO STEELERS

478509  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-01-23
Written: (7245 days ago)

wow wana know a secret...? I HATE SNOW!!!! it can die along with some really cool people I know but ya went outside with the lil kiddies and jess's little kiddies and then came in, had lunch, attempted to do homework, went to jess's, watched 3 hours of Gilmore Girls (world's greatest show after house) and returnd to my house...If i EVER get pregnant and have a kid I have decided it will be just like on Gilmore Girls because that would be amazing. I know its TV and blah blah but I think it would be better than the whole dominating mom thing most moms pull today....i have decided that matt annoys me, she deserves better than that...

gtg now disembarking from the I-net

478220  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-22
Written: (7245 days ago)

o jeez the dance was interesting.... fun though... met ron and dennis, they're kool kids but they all left early *tear* but o well i had fun after that anyways...

when i wake you're never there
when I sleep you're everywhere....

477724  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-01-21
Written: (7246 days ago)

life rots.... do you realize that another year will pass and once again I will NOT have a man for valentines????? &^%# well that's my life I guess...yay...going to the dance tonight w/o a date cuz I am too lame to get one... o well maybe there will be some (hot) guy there w.o one too. HAH! do I ever get that lucky? w/e doesnt hurt but I still cant get you off my mind...crap i gtg must iron my bro's pants and fix my hair.... wish me luck.... i hope this is fun and doesnt make me sad...

i complain too much....

477021  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-01-20
Written: (7247 days ago)

o man last night was a blast! me, britt and a buncha guys... LooK ouT! lol thalina threw a book at my head today and now it hurts. Jess is HERE!!!! yay!! even though my house is crazy insaneo!!!!!!! people just randomly scream for no reason!! aaaahhhhhhh...... ummm ya I seen him last night and didn't miss him or feel sad! yay... but now I dk if i want to have a dissucion about it or let it go... hmm maybe i should just leave it and forget cuz I have a feeling that he forgot as soon as we left the theater.... *sigh* hmmmmm o well at least justin's not mad at me anymore.... the dance will be intersting specailly since I am the only one w/o a date... o well it should be funn anyways but should is a scary word....


Well me and Jess are crazy<3 jess lol .....


It's closing time, and a drunk who has had his fill of alcohol for the evening stumbles out of a bar. He begins to trudge his way home, when suddenly a firetruck goes whizzing by, lights and sirens going.

To the surprise of onlookers, the drunk takes off running as fast as he can after the firetruck. He keeps up for a moment, but the firetruck eventually gets away and turns a corner.

The drunk slumps to the ground, and just before he passes out yells, fist in the air "FINE! KEEP YOUR ....ING ICE CREAM!"

476512  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-01-20
Written: (7248 days ago)

BECKA HAD THE BABY!!!!!!!!!

Paige May Lang Purdue 1.19.05 U DID IT BABE!!!!!
476370  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-01-19
Written: (7248 days ago)

omg I was baddddd today! I messed w.Justin's head Bad BAD no more STOP THAT IS VERY EVIL !!!!!! really my sweet I am so sry I feell really bad.... so the rundown
he texts me this moring *Anne tell lauren I hope she got to school ok and ........* we're were mess'n around about it being lauren getting to school ok and not me even though i got the text lol funny so eventutally kay texts him and is like *hey its lauren's friend her bus never made it and she'll be out of the hospital on friday* well he FrEaKeD and was like *are you serious?* and we were like *yes* and he was like *what hospital* kay *children 461 burn unit* and then she said *call anne to find out more after school* well this leads to like 5 missed calls for me in school and after he calls and I was like we wre just messn with you and he flipped and hung up and its all good dont worry about me but I feel bad he soundeed so scared on the phone *tear*

so ya the excitment for the day and it snowd which is what started this whole thing... I hate snow its ruining my life lol but seriously it is

why do everywhre I go there you are? cant you just leave? why do I alwasy think of you?

BURN UNIT 461

475523  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-01-19
Written: (7249 days ago)

wow... gotta love it.... BORED!!! yawn...ok ya I am serious a date would be nice for friday...but not necessary...basically pretty whiny about it... ooo I want a date, but I dont want to ask anyone, Man I must be a pain... lol

I hate living at my house, cant stand my sister, when I turn 18 I swear I am getting my own appartment, so anyone who wants to move in go for it as long as you have enough money to buy food and pay rent and let me sleep on the couch, this is all I ask, I am so restricted here. I get yelled at cuz i want to do stuff with church, Not a drug gang just church, and I get yelled at cuz i dk why but I do cuz its my house... also I get yelled at cuz I look like a slob, well better a slob than a slut huh? nope i dont try to wear the little belly shirits and short shrikts just let me wear a black hoodie, jeans, and some tennis shoes and I'll be happy but no I have to go out looking like I am a 35 yr old woman... just shoot me! please! sigh.... I complian too much I need to be happy I have a home and parents who care.... etc. but jeez its just so annoying!

i've been on for 40 mins someone alert the internet police! O wait they did my dad just kicked me off

everytime you breathe I take you in
and my heart breaks again
and I drown
please just decide already... is it all or nothing? cuz I know it sounds horrible but i just cant take the inbetween...

474998  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-01-18
Written: (7249 days ago)

at school bored out of my mind... gna fail the trig/physics test... BLAH Britt I LOVE YOU!!!!!... madd at a person... need a date for friday any one interested?

472728  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-01-16
Written: (7251 days ago)

Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I use to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine wherever she would go
But looking at her now you'd never tell
Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what she's feeling
When she's praying
Kneeling at the edge of her bed

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces
The unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she crys

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healing hands
Of someone who understands

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water
-dk but its pretty in a black widow sorta way

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