ok ummm ya haven't been here for a while....pulse was good, school suckd per usual, fish fry... meh... kinda beat, but aight.
been thinking..ya bad I know...and well, this sums it up
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I'm not depressd now I just need to get it out now.. why did the one thing I thought might mayb work blow up in my face? not wnt'n back..just thinking.. wishing my friendship backk....
Brittany made my day!!! thnx hun!
frannie tryed to call me and tell me to tell the bus not to pick her up cuz she was already at school... well be smart, u get on before me here!!!!!! ahhhh
well now I am off to see the love of my life and battle blatant sexism... ie--->PULSE
more lata babes....
You pretend you’re high
You pretend you’re bored
You pretend you’re anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get
Don’t believe in fear
Don’t believe in faith
Don’t believe in anything
That you can’t break
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted
What drives you on what drives you on
Can drive you mad can drive you mad
A million lies to sell yourself
Is all you ever had
Don’t believe in love
Don’t believe in hate
Don’t believe in anything
That you can’t waste
-Garbage
To all my "girls" at the mount...yup you know who you are...and my other friend...cuz this is who are...
omg...I hate my school... I am going to NASH next year. Stupidheads rule the place, they give too much homework, and they let complete idiots teach. O and not to mention the people (with the exception of a select few... and u know who you are), are petty, whining and annoying! GRRR I hate it I am leaving next year, senior or not! I am going to NASH whre I dont have to tuck in my shirt or where the right knda shoes... BITE ME!!!! just go DIE... I hate it, and if you couldnt tell I am in a bad mood...well mayb not, it just that people at my school really make me mad....
Bambi is a wimpy deer and "the brave little toaster" is the funniest movie in the world....
Candles raise my desire
Why I'm so far away
No more meaning to my life
No more reason to stay
Freezing feeling, Breathe in--Breathe in
I'm coming back again
I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins
Never did I wanna be here again
And I don't remember why I came
Hazing clouds rain on my head
Empty thoughts fill my ears
Find my shade by the moon light
Why my thoughts aren't so clear
Demons dreaming
Breathe in--Breathe in
I'm coming back again
VooDoo, I'm not the one
who's so far away
-Godsmack
maybe I lied... No I definantly did lie....I couldnt do it, not if its the way it is now, how would it be if that happend???? no I am fine on my own, lonely and sometimes wanting someone(else besides him) but fine...
And you know you're never sure
But your sure you could be right
I'll take a nicotine, caffeine, sugar fix
Jesus don't ya get tired of turnin' tricks
But when your innocence dies
You'll find the blues
Seems all our heroes were born to lose
Just walkin' through time
You believe this heat
Another empty house another dead end street
Gonna rest my bones and sit for a spell
This side of heaven this close to hell
But my heart keeps calling me backwards<---Wtf do you do when this happens??????? mfr....cant, wont, kinda wana, but not gna...damn, I am a pathetic kid
help me, cuz I'm slipping under...
"that's assualt, and it turns out, its illegal" DAMN, now I know why I cant be voilent...
ya... bord outa my mind today...gtg cuz my dad might call, and apparently me being on the internets interferes with that...
depressed...
You're pathetic in your own way I don't like you anyway....but I do...and that is the whole effing problem...
effing snow day=bored out of my mind! wow... almost a year... when you think about it and all tha's gone on...and I dont even have anything to miss... but I will...
how come other people have what I just cant seem to get? Its all good for them.. but when it comes to me the mfr just doesnt care enough to go beyond saying hi...I know, I know all of that, but still can we be friends.. can we have what evryone else does...well in six monthes it will over, but so will everything else... damn damn damn.... GO DIE!!!!!!!!!!
I hate snow... it is God's curse on creation... leaving me house for a bit, probably will go watch hours of Gilmore Girls... yay...
I'm sry for the way I am....I guess for me theres just no hope
up for an amzing night... Babysittng! YES!!! just what I always wanted mommy...*big sigh*
people have hate issues....
not in the world's greatest mood, kinda depressd, cuz all I ever do is go to church and babysit, some life huh?
was out all day with the madre shopping and running errands. Got to see steph (YYAAayYY!!) and got girl scout cookies (I heart Girl scout cookies) fish fry last night, whoop de "f'n" dooooo!!!, intersting as always, guys being favord cuz people are sexist (guess who brittany..? lol) umm then went to a gradeschool bball game, loud but fun. Sat in front of ths crazy dude who yelled with me all night, so I made the best of the game.... gtg finish my hair and leave for babysit'n
i hate being me...
o man I love lunch!
(jules)"you cant sit here unless you're horny. are you horny????"
"I'm not answering that!" Frannie.
(Julie hits Frannie in the eye with a grape and Frannie is "hurt" and runs up to the bathroom in a snit fit.
Me "Julie you really hurt her, apologize!"(i know.. me being sympathic toward Frannie??? what am I coming to?)
Jules: "No i didnt start it, gates did"
Me: come on jules she's really hurt....
Jules: "but i dont wanna,...." (as she jumps up and down)
Jules: I know waht the U in uterus stand for... cuz its shaped like a U!!!!
dont you wish you went to my school!
i love it I just love it... i try and what do i get? a big load a BS thrown right at my face as the door hits me on the way out!
THIS is why
o jeez...... that last one was kinda harsh....sry
but guess what? I need another rabies shot! lmao! ya lifeteen last night...then today the freak'n othrodonist attacks my teeth! I have rubber bands!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
now I am confzd? who do I take???? cuz....welll ya idk. Adam would be fun, but would it be weird?? I should probably just take Mike, everyone else would happy then...Mike would also be fun... well we'll see...
off to clean and work ! blah!!!!
dude...ok here's the deal...you know i am one down on you, so dont flaunt in in front of my face, I am sick and tired of hearing all that stuff, what you want to do is your own BS and if you're not gna tell me straight to my face, then dont whisper it behind my back, especaily if we are what I "thought" we were. If you wna go screw up your entire life for fun then by all means please do! (i dont really mean that...no one asks my opinion anymore, or cares what I think, or takes it seriously) It's just that I thought it was more than that...I am sick of people... who are hypocrites, the two just dont mix. I am sry, they dont...and that could be why you stopped. So the piont of my rant... not quite sure, maybe just to vent, maybe to let you see, if you ever do, what all that does to me....but if you are what I think you are you wont even take the time to figure this out... I wish I knew, but I dont, and at the moment that's not gna change, so please if you have any consideration.
Now, let me go
I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
on another view I HATE THIS
o man... i know, I know you just cant help it and I shouldn't feel this depresed, but I do. It just gets me you know? well actually you dont cuz you're probably not in my place. meh... i hate it... i hate needing someone, but not being able to have someone. I love my life... on days that dont end in y. So ya the quote of the day is... (from the lunch table...) "It's like yarn porn" omg I love Julianne Moskiewski(<=rooster en espanol! >_^) heh... religion was amzing... we drive amo to drink! YES! that was my life goal i can die happy now! well maybe not yet! i mean i havnt even crashed a car...no.. not really...at home on friday, which is partly my fault, cuz I am a dork....ahhh..
not giving in...
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
-SP (ya i'ma dork i know but it fits my life to a 'T'...sadly enoough)
last night was interesting...
go screw it....
gotta peace out... ur probably glad too!
*heavy sigh* you know you used to think things were black and white... set in stone. but the closer you get the more you realize, their not! there'r fuzzy and gray and constantly changing...peo
sick sick sick, sydney you make me sick! I hate being sick and tired of my nose running and research papers and life in general... maybe i should just leave... go away and start somewhere fresh, try again... i want out... i was forced into this deal...and now i want out....
people are crazy....sick of this place, i wana break freee...
i am an astronomical anamoly... first off i know the world's most interesting people, not a bad thing At all, just an observation, in fact its a very good thing, I would be very bored if I only knew carbon copy Aeropastle wearing people who listend to pop and thought like....linkin park and Jay-Z were "hardcore" rock. ya.... I am just saying this stuff its not like I am going out to offend anyone...secon
so yes actaully i lied once again about yesterday not only is it singles awareness day its, "national f*** like a rabbit day" or according to glenn it is... but who cares wat he thinks? NOT me...(see prev. entry for clarification)....
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through....
1170
yo,... so its Vday WHOOP"D F"N DOOOOOO!!!!
old people are taking over the earth.... I am convinced of it as my "friend" is convinced that i hate him, but i probably do... even though he looked Realllllyyy good last night... o well wana know a secret? I DONT F'N CARE!!!! welll maybe I do but if i keep telling myself that then it might actually come true...so ya... fun fun fun in the sun, actually the rain! o jeezzzz idk gtg now do sum hw whhooo hooooooo!!! dancin' in the dark is a good song... if you even care....
oya i lied its not Valentine's Day...its.....
SINGLES AWARENESS DAY
i never been in love...dont what it is.... only knows if someone wants her....
still here... bleh... leaving soon though in like 20 minutes thank GOD... speaking of which I really dont like this book on purity... i really need to stop complaining...
at the library for the next 3 hours researching my topic....and none of the articles I need are online... i hate english...last night was interestng, the guys were being a pain in the ass... idk what their problem was... but w/e it was really annoying...wel
pshhhh wow lots of depressing things... well only fitting since ash wednesday is the #1 most depressing day of the year...let's see: gilmore girls was bad, i had to babysit and the one kid made me explain trig to him BLAH!, i have a trig test tmro, i couldnt eat today, and i had mass.... which was good despite itself and ya just crazy in general... and my family is sick!!!!!!!!! ahhh kill me now!!! but ya.. gates it dont matter I LOVE YOU!!!
only 3 hours of the world's most depressing day left!!!!!! yay!
why do i alwys hear the "today is the greatest day I have ever known" on bad days????