[~*~Dread Pirate Bonnie~*~]'s diary

928319  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-04-09
Written: (6441 days ago)
Next in thread: 929162

when he says i don't feel the same...and you can tell hes lieing...what else is there for you to do your heart is breaking you can feel each piece break off and fall to the depths of the black hole that was once his love for you but now is a black abyss of nothing.... what can you do ... i fee like dying like all i want is to love people for the rest of my life so that they will not have to go though the same thing that i am .... i feel that i would be better off as the nobody that everyone loves... the one in the corner that everyone knows but one can only wish death would be to easy suffering is all you get and after all the suffering for years and years thats all you have and you watch all the people in love and you wish that you could just be in their place for just a few minutes just a few minutes .... if only...

792309  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-05-14
Written: (6770 days ago)

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was sear ching,
for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since thi s is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart".
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear

But s ometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long -stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget, and
remember to send it also to the person that sent
it to you. It's a short message to let them know
that you'll never forget them.

Take the time...to live and love!
Until eternity. God bless!

769866  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (6817 days ago)

well last night was an experience.... i went to bed like i normally do but then all of a sudden i just got up and i walked over to where i knew an old lightbulb was and i broke the bulb and i took a piece of glass and i cut my wrist .........it hurt yet felt so good at the same time .........all day i have been wanting to cry then at that moment it was all just out there...........i really am not proud of this i dont want to be proud of this honestly i dont even know why i am typing this up here i guess cause i just want people to know im not always the goofy person you think i am i haven't cried in over a year and tonight i just let it all out...i didnt do much damage but the only reason i stopped was because someone asked me not to hurt myself......and right after i started i remembered what he had asked and chose to respect his wishes........he was only looking out for me..........today the one person i had hoped would listen to me didnt ............... at first i said that i didnt want to talk but when i did try he just interupted........that sort of made me sad........but things could be worse...............i really dont know why i am depressed cause i really do have a great life i have friends that love me i have a great house my dad is better than ever i have money and i can get anything i want pretty much and to think i almost threw that all away.........damn that was stupid of me to even try

769699  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (6818 days ago)

just thought i would tell you all that i love you cause i dont think ill be back tomarrow

763427  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-15
Written: (6831 days ago)

92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.

746297  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-02-09
Written: (6864 days ago)

My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I werent ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
Hes already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"Im sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this
and dont pass it on
I pray for your forgivness
Beause you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be affected
By this Poem
And because you are affected,
Do something about it!
So all i ask you to do
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS AND PASS IT

518323  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-10
Written: (7200 days ago)

omg i am so confused!! alll this shit has been happening my mom got mad at me yesterday because my teacher said that i dint do some assignments that i did do and i still got in trouble but man this just pisses me off but anyway

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