I always seem to fall for the bad guys... But now I know why!
It's the passion. I long for it, i need it to survive. I want it without inhibitions...
There's always much more passion in a realationship with arguments then in one were everythings peachy wouldn't you say....!?
I'm dependent on the rush... the feelings.
I need to feel it rushing trough my veins and fill every last bit of my body.
I want it to drown me, I want it to own me..
Passion... it's life
Thunder.. Passion without inhibitions.
Maybe that's why i love thunder so much.
could it be... ;)
Monday, the most missunderstood day of the week!
I absolutly load mondays.. it's the ending of the weekend and the begining of a full, new, long week..........
Need I say more?!
I'm sitting in my bf's appartement watching Witchhunter Robin on his computer while he's busy sleeping. He didn't sleep at all last night.. He should really turn his sleeping times around to combine better with his school .. well and me of course. But he's actually doing pretty good. Better then I excpected, needless to say i'm very proud of him.
I have this feeling inside that this world wasn't the one I was supposed to live in from the start. I get this tingeling inside my head and images pop up from nowere. And for a split second I find myself being dragged away from my body, and I love it. But reality it seems always ends up pushing me back again. In thoose small seconds of separation from my body prison I'm living like never before. There's not really any form of time in this between... there's just living, the way you want to. Theese episodes are often triggerd by something I have either watched on film, read, or imagined. I guess I am a hopeless romantic after all. Not in the gushy smushy "I love you with the heat of a TRILlION fires" way, but in the way of always dreming of something els. Always with one small part of my brain busy trying to make my normal life seem invisible so that it one day can take over and rule the kingdom of emtiness in my head were there ones was a brain with more cohearent thoughts
Some people just really get my attention. Mostly guys! Their faces.. it's not just that I think that their GOD DAMN handsom, =P there's more of a timeless feeling to it. It's like their whole being is timeless and I find myself being dragged into the world of fantasy and having a REALLY hard time getting out from there again.
I would love to take their picture.. if I will be a photografer in the future i will take fatasy pics insteed of painting them cause I suck at painting.
Oh how I wish...
i wanted to write a poetic diary, but alass... it's just not working today... Oh well. I guess i'll just have to make do with this insteed. At work now.. teacher assisten for a minimal pay... well it beats being unemployed. Waiting for that preciuos moment when i pack it up for the day and realize that it's friday. I'm free tomorrow!!!!!!
So now i'm sitting here..waiting for the weekend with a litle smile on my lips.. just being happy. I'm always happy nowadays.. i love that to!
It doesn't hurt to smile anymore...
Let me walk amongst the stars in the cold wintersky,
shedding my sorrow on the way.
Leaving my grief behind with each step of my feet,
I feel it no more I could say.
Let me fly above the rooftops, grey, red and black
Feeling more free then ever before.
Leave me sleeping on a cloud with a smile on my lips,
never to hurt anymore.