ahh I'm here in washington now. Surrounded by trees, birds rabbits and various other forms of wildlife. Unfortunately, im also surrounded with bad company. Ive got to get the fuck out of this house, I get home from work at 10 AM im all sore tired and lusting for beer and its just BITCH BITCH BITCH constantly from the second I open the door.My dads just constantly talking shit. "your like a child! just use it and throw it on the floor and walk all over it! did you know theres beer stashed under your seat?! did you buy those cds you have laying all over the floor?!" its like, god damnit dad, yes I bought those fucking cds,No I didnt know i had beer under my seat, thank you for telling me. Then I wanna just pull the biggest gg allen move and take a shit right there in the middle of my floor, roll around in it and then punch him out and say,"no dad im not a fucking kid because i dont give a shit about MY shit. Im a fucking animal FUCK OFF. Fucking bitter old man, some day im gonna forget to mow the lawn and hes gonna fucking explode from being so fucking stupid. note to self, fuck the lawn. At any rate, ive got to get the fuck out of this house or im gonna bash my skull in with a hefty can of Del Monte green beans. This is WashBoard signing off.
Fuck Earth

I have diarreah from drinking cheap beer on an empty stomach. My butt is leaky and I cant fart for fear of messing myself. I spent most of today smoking pcp and masturbating into self inflicted wounds. Just another typical sunday.

Okay so its 12:46 in the morning here in alaska, I cant sleep so I would like to share this moderately amusing anecdote with anyone who gives a swimming fuck to read it.
I get off work, which was actually a pretty good day for a 13th on a friday. I drive to Holiday to fuel up my car and after I start pumping, some lucid and feral human/camelshit hybrid begins to shoot my car with an airsoft pistol. For those of you fortunate enough not come upon the recieving end of these wretched devices they are beebee guns that shoot plastic beads that do little more then really piss you off. So there shootin like 30 fuckin rounds right at my windows and shit form accross the street at subway. All I can see is some blurry asshole in the driver seat and a equally stupid accomplice next to him. so I flip em off and scream "get your jollies elsewhere you hedonistic scum fucks!" And they shoot at me,and start laughing! By this time Im ultra pissed, I mean super BLOODGLUTTON PISSED. Its 1 degrees and Im drinking a hidious amalgamation of bananna and mountain dew code red slushie. So i finish feuling up and walk over there with this plastic cup filled with frostie badness and im intent on draggin this piece of shit out of his car, tearing his ugly sould from his battered corpse and spoon-feeding it to satan himself. I dash across the street, throw my slurpie like a molotov cocktail while dodging these beads. I get up to the truck and they look familliar somehow but all I can see is red. Then suddenly a voice is like "Dude chill its us!" and then I notice its a bunch of my fellow Safeway-Minions. People I get along with rather well. I felt like an ass for over reacting cuz if I knew it was them I would have said "neat!, let me shoot my car!" But yeah, we had a good laugh and they pitched in and baught me another slushie and apoligised. I drove home very confused and probably stupid. Well thats all I have for now. I hope you enjoyed this moderately entertaining moment brought to you by WashBoard. Remember kiddies, Hating It Never takes A Holiday.