[Beyond the Surface]'s diary

770928  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-30
Written: (6816 days ago)


One memorable scar for one short moment of release. One memory that never goes away, for a moment that didn’t last. One more thing to lie about when a friend sees a fresh cut. One more moment to waste. One more drop of blood that drips off your fingers. One more mess to clean up. One more thing to worry about…One memorable scar for one short moment of release? It seems worth it when the blade's pressed to my skin...I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't think of it then

767364  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-23
Written: (6822 days ago)

More recent of my work:


Love….love is when there is no words that could possibly add up to the way you feel towards him…its when it almost kills you to see him with another woman…how it hurts when he doesn’t know the feelings you hide because you don’t want to lose him…you think that as long as you’re his friend then that’s all you need…but you can never stop thinking about him…when a simple memory of him can bring a smile to your face with such ease…You think it stupid of yourself to care so much when he doesn’t really show feelings in return…its when you can’t move on, can’t let his memories go or the love you have for him disappear because you never told him, you never gave him the chance to accept or turn you down and secretly you wish that somehow he’ll come back and you can finally tell him….but until then you’ll remain alone with empty hopes and wishes….that…is what love is..


Sometimes I wonder if you can even comprehend a fraction of the feelings I express in my eyes. Sometimes I truly wonder if you’ve lost the ability to see and are blind. Sometimes I wonder why I waste my breath on you. Sometimes I wonder why

635454  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-30
Written: (7059 days ago)

Unfinished, untitled
By me

I stand here all alone
Crying in the rain
Hoping that just maybe
It will wash away my pain
Wash away my tears
Wash away my blood
Carry me away
Cuz I’m drowning in this flood
This flood of emotions
Is holding me down
This flood of emotions
Is making me drown
This flood of emotions
Is just confusing me
This flood of emotions
Won’t let me go
It won’t let me be


~*~*~~**~**~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Also unfinished
by me

Ohhh…
This world is full of hate and pain
Tears of blood fall like rain
Smiles’ fading in to sorrowful sighs
It’s driving me insane
Living this lie

We live in suck a dirty world
Our minds so over come with greed
Our souls twisted and twirled
While others starve, beg, and plead

What happened to the good ol days?
Honest people and righteous ways
That we all used to know
Oh where did they go?

Where did you go happiness?
Where did you go honesty?
Where did you go,
Without me

579030  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (7129 days ago)

To my grave
I'll be brave
take the blade
press it to my skin
must be fate
This is where it'll end
lost all hope
lost all pride
Lost my life
I've already died

579023  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (7129 days ago)

Just another something I wrote.....



I feel like running away
For this place that I hate is
Abundant, never ending, ever growing
I fell like I don’t know where I’m going
Please tell me what my fate is
Got nothing left to lose
Got nowhere left to go
No one left to love
Got nothing left to say to you
Cuz baby, I’m dead to you!
When you turned your back on me
Is when I truly knew
At last I could finally see
I didn’t mean a thing to you
You used me
For what you needed me for
Then you tossed me
You said didn’t want me no more
You turned your back
Left me in the dark
You scarred my soul
Forever I’m marked
It’s all your fucking fault
I’m this way
I rewind it; replay it in my head everyday
I wake up, I break down,
My fucking heart feels like its bound
To you
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know where to go
Who to turn to
What to hide, what to show
My arms
Covered in scars
My eyes
Seems they’ve lost their stars
And I just don’t fucking care anymore
Don’t care who fucking stares anymore
You used me, you stupid fucking whore!
I don’t need you, I don’t need anything anymore
This is where I leave
Where I slowly die
You left me and I still don’t know why
I needed you,
I wanted you,
couldn’t live without you
You fucking fool,
I die where you left me,
I’m slowly fading away
And I still haven’t heard from you since that day.
Way back when
But I thought I knew you then
But I guess I never did
What the fuck, I was in love
But I’m only a kid!



~Dee
Decated to Andrew....fucking bastard

 

Written:2005-05-14 20:05:52


The pain
By Diana Marie Horton (me)

My obscured dread
My heart so blue
My tears that bled
Like rain for you
I feel this pain,
That I have caused
I feel ashamed
I feel so lost
The tears I restrained
Held back at all cost
Descend like acid rain
Burning into my soul
Killing me inside
Never to be whole
With this pain that I hide
every tear that I shed
A part of me dies
Soon to be dead
I silently cry
The pain that I have caused you
Is killing me wonderful
I told you it true
It was predictable
But you wouldn’t listen to me…
Why weren’t we meant to be?



Both dedicated to Dillon Leon Boss...





It wasn’t a sudden change of heart,
It was us slowly falling apart
My love for you faded and changed
My heart, confused, became deranged.
Blood and tears both fell like rain
Trying to extinguish this hurt and pain
This pain I feel I must hide
For if I don’t, I’ll ruin my pride.
I love you still, but it’s not the same
I’m sorry, love, that I caused you pain.

560569  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-04-24
Written: (7155 days ago)

...........17 new scars mark my soul it's pain.........

559176  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (7157 days ago)

So confused, living a lie
This shattered heart’s prepared to die…
Tired of being a heartless bitch
Please someone help pull the switch
To weak to go on
To weak to die
To weak to look you straight in the eye
Past the blood and the tears
Lies my soul drowning in fears
Afraid to hurt
Afraid to love
My broken heart
My darkened soul
So black, black as coal
Wishes not to be loved
Not to be pitied
Not to exist
If only I could have just one wish…

559170  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (7157 days ago)

If you only knew
The pain that I hide.
Daily deceived
By my every lie.
The love that I had,
That’s gone now too.
Baby I’m so sad,
And so damn confused.
I don’t know what to do any more
I don’t know what I’m still living for.
Baby if you only knew
Every thing I’ve ever hid from you
I don’t know what to do any more
I don’t know what I’m still fighting for
I lost my love and now my mind
I feel so cold lost in time
I don’t know what to do anymore
I can’t be with you any more
My heart is so blue
It’s so sore.
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to do
Oh, I don’t know what to do
Anymore

555427  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-04-19
Written: (7161 days ago)

I never wanted to hurt you. I just didn’t want to live a lie. But something inside tells me that I made the wrong decision. Maybe it is because I feel guilty still for breaking your heart. I don’t think I’ll ever know why I felt what I did…But that doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you…Dillon and I have been going steady for a year now, And I love him so much. But I still hurt inside for what I did to you. I’m sorry if I dug up some old memories you wished to remain buried….but I had to make sure you were doing ok….I’m so sorry…maybe I should not have sent that message…but I had to….I’m so sorry….

-Dee

345464  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-08
Written: (7384 days ago)

a smile faded apon her face, one that once would shine, and light up any room she came upon, but now, slowly, both she and it is fadeing......just like so many before her....

  

285800  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-07-14
Written: (7440 days ago)

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.....Hate me because I'm the bitch that stole your boyfriend

195008  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-04-15
Written: (7530 days ago)

hehehehhe, im evil!!!!

188387  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-04-08
Written: (7537 days ago)

hello!! im ky! my best friend in the world is [Rain Kissed Angel] she has always been there for me and i love her to death!!

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