Yea... i need some advice... I HATE being a bitch to my boyfriend... but some things just really tick me off and i don't know why! What should i do? Ya know... like... is there any way i could get myself to stop acting like a bitch to him... and everyone else!? I'm sick of it... Like, i need some kind of punishment.... Someone please help!!!
On a different note, i think Larry is the sweetest guy in the world... and most things are going great. Things with my mom are better and with my step dad... well... it's same old same old... casually hi here and a typical conversation about something stupid there.... etc. My dad is awesome. So is my step mom... I had sex with Larry... and only she knows about it cause if my mom or dad found out... oh man that'd be horrible... Anyways. I want to go to my friend's tournabout this weekend, but i have yet to get a hold of her... I'm going to Larry's next weekend. I went to mine already with him. I punched the bleachers.... long story... To make it short, I guess you can say i had to show him he actually doesn't like it when i'm mad cause he was saying he felt indifferent when i know how he feels about it. Anyways, school's ok. I can't wait till Larry's tournabout cause i get to see Hippie. She awesome. What i find strange, though, is that when i see her or say goodbye to her, we kiss... At first it was just the casual kiss-on-the-ch
Peace n Love
Kristi
So it's Thanksgiving..
Kristi
Oh man... i gotta stop slackin... but, oh well!!!! Things change and so do people... but, ya gotta learn to live with it. I Love my bear... with all my heart. I hope he never leaves me... *sigh*
Wow... i havn't written in a LONG time... I've been through a lot in the past week lol. Uhm... My recital is tomorrow. I'm nervous as hell. I found out today that my nervous habit is itching in a tiny spot somewhere on my arm with my thumbnail and ecentually my skin would rip open... It kinda scared me but it's no biggy... I guess. Bear might be dissapointed and all my friends cause they'd think i was cutting again, which i promised i'd stop. But we won our game today, thank god. the first game out of 6 we've won, lol. Anyway... i miss my bear... i thought i was gunna die of TSS today, lmao. I had it in for like... 11 hours... i was kinda scared... he he he. First time using tampons and i'll never go back to pads... I love tampons lol. Wow... i hope whoever's reading this isn't a guy... lol. Shit, that reminds me, i gotta go change it again! lol. I'll write later, i promise. Peace n Love... Laterz.
Lets see... Today i have softball pictures n my last dance class before my dress rehearsal n my recital... I'm excited cause i actualy know the dance!!! he he he. Unlike the last couple of years, i kinda... messed up on some parts? lol n i wasn't as good? lol. I'm also excited cause tomorrow i get to pick up Bear from his finals n then we hang out all day till my softball game... cause he has to umpire a game at the same time i play, lol. We might go for coffee or somethin afterwords cause we still wanna see each other, heh. Well, i got to go. I have to go to my sister's kindergarten Graduation thing? yea... weird i know... Peace n love. Laterz.
Hmmm... well... I really have nothing to say... yesterday was boring, as well as today. i'll write tomorrow... Peace n love... laterz...
So... wow yesterday was a mix of emotions. It was my brother's graduation day n we had a BBQ for him at my dad's. I cried for the first hour or so of it because my boyfriend got grounded for the summer n off the phone, but i got to talk to him for a while... I love him to death, i swear i do. It made me cry just to think i wouldn't see him for that long time! But soon, my step mom wanted me to come outside to talk n stuff. I did. Everyone felt sorry for me! WHY!? I don't get it... Then my brother n my step mom asked if i wanted a wine cooler.... i said yes, i mean blunt as can be... i said yes... lol. Everyone giggled. So i had a drink. Then i had another.... My brother wanted to see me drunk, but i didn't want another drink so yea... But people asked if i had a buzz n i said no... But later on i found out i did, lol. It was funny. But my boyfriend called me later, after i told him to go help his dad witht eh yardwork n maybe he'd be able to come over for a little bit, n guess what!? HE CAME OVER!!!! Wow, was i happy... Then my friend Kevin came over. After that, he drove Bear home n me n Kevin went to my friend Kelsey's for a little while. That was fun. Me n her are such good friends.. i love her! heh. Anyway... so i went home n called bear to hear his voice one last time before i went to sleep...Fun day... Today, i'm going to my friend Jameson's n then going to his brother's band's concert thingy... should be fun. I get to see all my friends n stuff so... yea. Well, i must be off to the showers. Peace n love.. Laterz.
Yesterday, boring. Today, boring as well. Nothing interesting to say. I just hope Bear checks his guestbook soon or i'm gunna go insane!!!! heh. g2g, peace n love, laterz.
Me n Bear r better!!!! Yay! But life is worse... he's grounded till god knows when so i only get to talk to him on the phone. *sigh* I just took my last finals today. SCHOOLE'S OUT!!!! YAY!!!! Now i gotta shower n head to my friend's house for a "get together" heh. I'll write later. Peace n Love. Laterz.
Okay so i have finals this week, today, tomorrow, n wednesday. This isn't fun *sigh* Anyway... Saturday my boyfriend ended up coming to my sister's b-day party with me. We went swimming n played with the girls... etc. It was really fun. He went home at 1 in the morning... he he he. Anyway, Saunday i spent the whole day with him helping at this player appreaciation day thing. It was fun. But, when we got to his house, we went to his room n watched TV. He was laying on his stomach and i was trying to be funny and hit him in the butt... but i ended up hitting him in the lower back where ie landed on the trampoline bar!!!!! I felt so bad... I really didn't mean to! I said i was sorry but i don't think he accepted it. I felt so horrible. I wanted to run out of the house and run home, even if it took me 3 hours to get there by foot. I thought i had fu<ked it all up and he hated me and he didn't ever want to see my face again! I ALWAYS HURT HIM! Instead i climbed off the bed and went as far into a corner as i could and cried because i knew if his mom saw me running out she would've yelled at him for doing something wrong even though he didn't it was all my fault and yada yada yada... I sat there in the corner looking at him through my teary eyes and shed more tears after tears till he got up. He asked why i did it and i told him i tried to be funny but i ended up fucking up and yea... Well, all in the end we made up... i think. And my guilty mind made me have a dream about him cheating on me with my ex best friend(he doesn't even know her right now...). But in the end i took her walking stick and beat her in the face with it till she fell to the ground in her own tears and blood. She woke up moments later and just walked away. I smiled to myself as i woke up.... and laughed so evily i scared myself. He he he... It was so fun. Then he reliazed how much of a dick he was and i took him back and we got married and yea... fun times... lol. I love that boy with all of my heart... i never want to let him go...*sigh* Anyway. I had my first final today and i totally aced that, lol. I have 2 tomorrow and 2 on wednesday then it's officially SUMMER!!!! for me. I'm planning on picking Bear up from school when he gets out... but i gotta find out what time and if i can lol. Well, that's it for today. I'll write tomorrow. Peace n Love. Laterz.
Ok... so yesterday was a bummer. I had nothing to do so i went skating(boring). The only thing that was kewl is that i thought i was going to die because a tornado was s'posed to come... But it didn't so it sucks. Today is gunna be even more boring. I watched The Crow again, which was actually the highlight of my day. Then i got yelled at again by my asshole of a step dad. For what? i have no clue... *sigh* Anyway, i don't get to see my boyfriend till tomorrow, which sucks. But tonite i have to help out with my sister's birthday party at a hotel? Bear was s'posed to come but he has rehearsals for this movie thing. Oh well... i'll try to survive... lol. Anyway, i'm gunna get going. I'm going to attempt to draw some more! lol. And maybe write some poems! yay! lol. I'll write later! Peace n love, Laterz.
So yesterday made me hurt. I didn't get the Best Support Player award like i was s'posed to. Some b1tch chick on my team did. She didn't deserve it.... Not like i care but still, people could've done better than her. Anyways, It hurt cause my dance class is starting to get rigerous(sp?) I mean... i havn't worked this hard for the longest time. My legs hurt so bad! But it feels so good because i like the pain. Then i had to go to the ortho today, which i didn't even know i s'posed to so the office came to get me? *sigh* Oh well, i broke my retainer, if i didn't say that before, so i went to get it fixed. The only pain i don't like is in my mouth.... *shudder* i hate that shit. Anyway, my Bear is s'posed to come over to my dad's again today, yay! We're gunna take pictures together n we might post some up here, ig they're good enough, heh. I finally did something right! With the help of my Bear, my best friend loves me even more, he he he. We hooked her up by giving some of her pictures to this guy and he was like... omg! And he actually called her! She called me afterwords and was SO excited! Then i got excited cause i actually did something right for once! He he. I'm so happy for her... i know they're gunna end up going out... And she needs a man in her life, i know she does. So i'm glad we did this, THANX BEAR!!!! Anyway, Kristi must be off again. Bell is gunna ring any time soon. Write later! Peace n Love, Laterz!
Okay... so yesterday was fun... Kinda... My boyfriend came over. Remember how i said he's never seen me cry? Oops... well, as of yesterday he has... I broke down n started crying because i felt bad about something that i don't wanna explain. I'll just say this: i feel like i let him down. Bear, if you read this, you might know what i'm talking about, but if you don't, i'll tell you. So, he helped me get started on my poem for school n then i had to go back to my mom's house. So, he came with! YAY! We watched The Crow(yes, i'm obsessed with that movie, heh) and ate some of my sister's ice cream cake stuff, it's good... he he he. We fell asleep on my couch n at about 10 he had to go home *cries* we fell asleep in my car too, heh. We were tired! he he he. No, it wasn't cause we were doin the naughty, me too young. We could have done other naughty, but no... lol we were in my living room so i don't think so, heh. Anyway. Today, i have a banquet for softball... oh god... lol. Then i have dance... Bear has rehearsals like... the rest of the week so i prolly won't see him till sunday, we're s'posed to go to Six Flags Great America then so i hope we still go! lol. I love that place... Well, i'll write later! Peace n love. Laterz.
*sigh* This weekend... It was mighty insane... Saturday i was just depressive. We played out double header n won both. Friday i went to Battle of the Bands... FUN! Yet, i cried, heh. Yes, Bear came with me(yay!). Today, i just remembered, i don't think Bear's ever seen me cry... He's heard me cry, but never seen, at least i don't think. Sunday, yesterday, was awesome. I got to see Larold(Bear) perform in his marching band at the parade, it was kewl. He had to babysit his sister afterwords though. My mom, nice as she is, offered to have them both come over, n they did! I was so happy, yay! Then they had to go, now that moment was funny. My mom laughs everytime she remembers it. Too long of a story. Lets just say little sisters suck, lol. I feel so bad for him.... he he he. I love him, lol. Today is my sister's birthday. I felt bad because after dinner i went to my friend's house for a while n she was crying when i left! *cries* I felt so horrible. Oh well, i made her a picture to make up for it. She's my favorite sibling... Well, i'd better get going. I'll write later! peace n love, laterz.
Okay... Yesterday was horrible... I hate being confronted after i do something wrong, everyone should know that right now. My dad confronted me and tried to correct me right after i did something wrong in softball and i told him to leave me alone. He said i'm so uncoachable. GET OVER IT!!! I'M NOT A FU<KING SPORTS FREAK LIKE YOU ARE!!! I hate this stupid sport as of yesterday. We lost, by the way, 6-4. I started crying on the bench. I cried for about 30 minutes on the bus cause the sophmore softball team was pissing me off!!! I cried when i got into the locker room, i wanted to cry in the car but i sucked it up. I wanted to cry in the resturaunt, but i sucked it up. I cried in my room when i got home. I went on the computer, got off, went to my room n cried. I called my boyfriend. He had to get off the phone for a minute, so we hung up. I cried. I stopped about 1 minute before he called again. He had to call me back again because he had to eat... I cried. This time, i picked up the phone in the middle of a sob. He didn't know till a few minutes later i was crying because i started crying AGAIN!!! Then, he made me feel better, THANX BEAR! But just before i fell asleep, a tear rolled down my cheek. Jeez i had a hard day. I'm full of mixed emotions today, sad, pissed, tired, happy cause i get to see Bear today, and more. "Aunt Flow" is also in town... ask me if you don't know what i'm talking about, although i'm sure boys realy don't want to know, heh. Today, i get to see Larold, which will be fun. That's about all i'm doing, heh. Well, my eyes hurt from looking at this computer. I also have to get back to work. I'll write Later. Peace n Love, Laterz.
Hmmm... Well, yesterday we won our game. Today, we have another. At the game yesterday, which was our last home game, we decided to pour the 2 jugs of water on the coach... he he he. He got REALLY mad... it was a little chilly out too! HA HA! SUCKS FOR YOU! Then i threw ice at him... ha ha ha. Anyways... Then i had dance... why is everyone obsessed with my teeth!? Grr...*shakes fist* And why does our second dance have to be to Justin Timberlake!? AHH!!! I HATE POP! I HATE RAP!!! You have no idea... *clenches teeth* Well... it's a kewl dance! heh. Today is gunna be boring. We have to go all the way to Lake Zurich to play and when i get home... i'm gunna be dead! Hehe. Anyways. Finals are gunna suck... i know it. I hate finals... absolutly hate them! *sigh* oh well... Have you ever thought thouroughly about giving a guy head? i mean... gross... they pee out of the same hole! I don't even understand why guys like to eat girls out... It's not the same hole we pee out of... but pretty damn close! But hey, whatever floats your boat... But i just think it very... grotesk that anyone would do that... Meh, oh well. I'll do other things just... yea... Sorry, i had this convo with my boyfriend last night... weird people we are... oh well! love him anyway! And yea... I g2g now. write later! peace n love, later.
Wednesday.... also known as hump day! heh. I have about 1 week of school left then finals.... then summer! YAY!!!! Well, i also have 4 more softball games, one of which is today.... BOOO!!!! lol. I also have dance. My teeth feel slimy cause i just got my braces off, as you know. This is crappy... i feel crappy.... i have been feeling crappy like... all week!!!! Oh well, i g2g... i'll write later! Peace n love. Later
Okay, so today is Tuesday. Sunday was fun... he he he. Not gunna explain my unintentional evil laughter... Monday i got my braces off, finally! But... it's really weird. My mom won't stop laughing at me whenever i talk to her cuse it's so different. I have small teeth so it looks even weirder... heh. We had another softball game yesterday. We almost won!!!!! We were -(this) close! If our second baseman would've stayed with it, we would've won by 1 point. But she bobbled the ball cause she got nervous n we lost the game*cries* those were the conference champs too!!! Now we're in second place. Oh well, second is still better than third!!! He he he. Anyways. Today we have another game. I REALLY hope it starts storming or at least down pours so i can spend the day with my bf. 4 months today! WEEE!!! I know... ooh wow. 4 months, whoop dee. But my longest relationship was... basically never, heh. Okay okay... it was 3 weeks. Whoop dee doo da. Heh. Anyway, i g2g. Getting behind in my work! I'll write tomorrow! ttyl. Peace n love, laterz.
Well, yesterday, i went to the movies. I had a shitty time. I want to cry because i made te mistake of thinkin my boyfriend didn't want me around! We're still going out, but we're in a quarrel at the moment. And i don't wanna be!!!! I love him so much! Never want to let go of him! I hope he knows that. Well, anyway, My friend Brianna spent the night, we talked, then fell asleep. Lol. I made her eggs this morning! I love making eggs... heh. Anyways. *sigh* I'm so bored. I don't know what's goin on today. It's gunna be sitty, but i'll deal. t's like every other day of my life... *sigh* Well, i must go now. Gotta keep my company... company. Heh. Peace n Love. Laterz.
Today... today today today... What can i say? Today might be a bad or a good day. Who knows!? Not me... Anyways. Last night... i hate seeing my siblings cry and cry for help cause they think i'm going to hurt them... *sigh* But i told them they couldn't have that! So i yelled at them... *sigh* Why me? I despise them, but love them all the same. Oh well... My mom is being really nice tese past 2 or 3 days... but my step dad is an ass. Heh, some things never change, eh? Heh. I really have nothing exciting to say... I'll write tomorrow i guess... Peace n love. Laterz
*sigh* We lost our game yesterday, sad to say... And our coach was mighty pissed at us. The only good part of my day was seeing my boyfriend... Being around him with his parents wasn't fun though cause they're EXTREMLY unparent-like. First time i witnessed it*sigh*. Oh well, he told me not to worry about it but i know it's one of the reasons he's getting depressed... I also got sick yesterday. Now it's worse. My throat hurts really bad, my nose is plugged up which is making my head hurt VERY badly and when i breathe my chest hurts. There's also snot running down the back of my throat constantly so it's making my throat worse then it already is. On top of that, i have a softball game today. Yes, again. We have a lot of games in a week... Luckily next week is our last*sigh of relief*. Bad part: my wreck league starts right after that! I'M SO SICK OF SOFTBALL!!!!! Mostly my coach... Oh well. Today sucks as it is. I'll just have to get used to it. Ta Ta For Now! Peace n Love. Laterz