hell..im havinga long ass bad day...(soon to be day5)...there hasnt been a day since i havent cryed cuz of cody...hmm i dont no if were breakin up ill find out monday...i mean its my move i can either stay or go... i just dont no what to do... fuk all these damn love songs, tv shows promising happy endings perfect relationships...destory all fairytale stories teaching little kids that everything will turn out perfect if u just sit there and wait. fuk all that shit...love...u fukin have to work to make it last...it just doesnt happen that way.... hmmm......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................why do i feel this way.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Why do i feel this pain............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................why is he always on my mind...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................why do i hate him..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................why me..............

Lately ive been thinking... that maybe cody doesnt want to be with me any more... he has told me that he wouldnt break up with a girl that he would wait till she'll break up with him. But i dont think he nose how much that would hurt me if he did it, i mean i told him not to do that, that if he wanted to break up that he should. 

it just makes me think...umm at first we used to talk like all day for hours and if he had to go he would call me as soon as he could. but now id go days with out talkin to him..i would call but he would be busy and he said hell call me in a couple of hours but he wont...
tear....
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shit its sounds worse when you write it down, i mean hmmm... maybe he does want to break up that hes treatin me like shit to make me want to break up.... but he doesnt no that i dont like to break up, i try to make things work i dont give up when things start to go bad...
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i have to talk to cody about this but i dont no how...i dont want to lose him...
....tear....
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im goin to go to bed
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goodnight ya...

This diary will contain many many pictures with storys, and other storys with other random shit i put or write. so it might be just like my house but with more personal crap. so yea, there might be stuff that you dont want to read so heres you damn warning.