It's my b-day today. I spend all last night on the phone w/ a guy I don't quite like in that way, you know. I was happy anyway, since someone call on my b-day. And today, one of my student wish my a happy b-day. I'm touch. My friends also wish a happy b-day, but as a message in xanga. It's not like they don't have a phone! sigh, oh well. at least someone remember i guess.
I told myself i was going to bed early, I didn't sleep until 2 something. I'm so tired. Dark rings are developing under my eyes. I need to quit my late night ways or else I'll have to save up some serious money for treatment cream and stuff. Sigh, life always choice. Sometimes you just don't chose very wisely.
A Touching & Valuable story to share....
I was born in a secluded village of a mountain. Days by days my parents
ploughed the yellow dry soil with their backs facing the sky. I have a
younger brother, 3 years younger than me. Once, to buy a handkerchief which all girls around me seemed to have, I stole 50 cents
from my father's drawer. Father knew about it right away. He made my younger brother and me kneeled against the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand.
"Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk.
Father didn't hear any of us admit, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to
admit, you two should be beaten!"
He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked on my brother's back repeatedly.
Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his
breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother,
"You have learnt to steal from your own house now, what other embarrassing
things you will do in the future?? You should be beaten to death! You a shameless thief!"
That night, mother and I hugged my brother. His body full of injuries, but
he didn't shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden I
cried out loudly.
My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't
cry anymore. Everything has happened."
I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I had done.
Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened
yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me.
That year, my brother was 8 years old; I was 11 years old.
When my brother was in his last year of his lower secondary school, he was
accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I
was accepted into a province's university. That night, father squatted in
the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him say, "Both our children have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her
tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of
them?"
At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,
"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped brother on his face.
"Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means that I have to
beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you both
finish your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the
village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as soft as I can to my brother's
swollen face, and said, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to leave this depths of poverty." Me, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study to university.
Who knows on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to the side of my bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, get into an university is not easy. I will go find a job and send money to you."
I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.
That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money
father borrowed from the whole village, and money my brother earned from
carrying cement on his back at construction site, finally, I managed
to get to the third year of my study in the university.
One day, I was studying in my room, when my roommate came in and told me, "There's a villager wait for you outside!"
Why was there a villager looking for me? I walked out, and saw my brother
from afar, His whole body was dirty, covered by dust, cement and sands. I
asked him, "Why don't you tell my roommate that you are my brother?"
He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if
they know that I am your brother? Don't they laugh at you?"
I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dusts from my
brother's body. And said with a lump in my throat, " I don't care of what
people say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"
From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He wore it on me, and
said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should
also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother
into my arms and cried and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.
The first time I brought my boyfriend home, the broken window had been
repaired. And it looked so clean inside the house. After, my boyfriend went
home, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you don't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she said with a smile," It was
your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the
wound on his hand? He was injured while replacing the window."
I went into my brother's small bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt
like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I put some ointment
on his wound and bandaged it, "Does it hurt?" I asked him. "No, it doesn't
hurt. You know, when I was working in the construction site, stones falling on my feet all the time. Even that could not stop me from working?"
In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolling down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.
After I got married, I lived in the city. Very often, my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village, they didn't know what to do. My brother also didn't agree, he said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law
My husband became the director of his factory. We wanted my brother to get the job as the manager in the department of maintenance. But, my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on starting to work as a repair worker.
One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him. Looked at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject to be a manager? Manager will not do something dangerous like this. Look at you now, such a serious injury. Why you didn't want to listen to us?"
With a serious expression on his face, he defended on his decision, "Think of brother-in-law
My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education also because of me!" "Why talking about the past?" My brother held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.
My brother was 30 years old when he married a farm girl from the village. In his wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one you respect and love the most?"
Without thinking, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in different village. Everyday, my sister and I walked for 2 hours to go school and go home. One day, I lost one of my pair of gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She only wore one glove and walked for so far. When we got home, her hand was so trembled because of the weather that was so cold that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and be good to her."
Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attentions to me. Words were so hard to come out from my mouth, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank the most is my brother," And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears rolled down my face again.
Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think that what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it means a lot.
~(^_^)~
Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want; it is the realization of what you already have
I'm really dissappointed. I'm not sure of the cause. Rationally, I knew it couldn't return to the way it was before. However, I guess since we're so close, I thought maybe. Maybe never work out the way you want. I should move on.
I'm trying to work on my thesis, but it's not going well. I can't concentrate on my work. My mind is wondering about, maybe toward someone. However, I rather not go there.
Two weeks ago, I was sure I would get a good part of my thesis done this summer. Now, I'm not so sure. I got my hypothesis and that's it. My hope was to finish part of my research and survey, but things just aren't going my way. I need help!