so i'm talking to this old friend right?.. and i start thinking that "hey i can do this, i can be friends again with him", but then it gets silent and i start thinking about all the late night phone conversations and i relize... heck i'm still ok because .. i got bob. heehee night

the tears drip slowly down my cheek onto the burning flame making it flicker
the wax pours onto my skin as i tilt it towards my heart to try to mend the wound upon which you caused
my heart is now torn and will never be mended, i can no longer go on with this hollowness i keep
i feel so alone and now nothin matters to me
i want nothin more to do with this place or you
you have brought this pain and you will be to blame for the destruction that i am yet to complete for it is you that brought my soul down to the depth of hells sweet gates
it is you that condemed me here
it is your fault i'm no longer capible to move on the next world, the world of peace and light
for because of you i'm lying dead in my grave of sorrow and despair, all because of your deceit and lies
and now i shall forever be destine to walk across this plane to welcome the rest of the broken hearted that await

is nothin means something and cheating means nothin then what does it mean when i say ... go to hell?!

i'm not really sure what to do anymore. i've tried to just ignore my feelings but everytime i do that it only makes me feel even more empty inside. it hurts sooo much i just feel dead now i can't do this anymore. i feel so sick and i feel like i've just been a waste of space. who would want to be with me anyways? everytime i have something good, i go and mess it up. i'm just a srew up thats all.

he looks at her in a way i never saw... he smiles at her and forgets all about me and all the words he wrote to me. its not important now, its only him and her.... no more anita. haha guess what goes around comes around and i guess i had it coming.its so weird ... never knew i could feel this much pain, it hurts so bad and is so intense that it makes you just want to go away.... i don't like talking to a lot of people and being around everyone, but yet i need someone to be with me just so i know i'm not alone, even if the truth is .... that i am alone. i just can't handle it anymore. someone told me that if i really cared about him then i should tell him how i feel... but how can i do that when he seems to be so happy with somone else? i can't ruin that for him , i would only be in the way and thats not something i want to do. i want him to be happy even if it means its not with me. i'll still do anything for him... i just wish i knew if he still feels the same way

i don't understand how someone can stand there and say they want to know whats wrong with you cause they "care" about you, when the truth is they don't , cause if they did then they wouldn't be with someone else

sometimes it hurts so much that the only thing you can do to hide it , is to laugh
its when you find yourself laughing without even knowing it, that you relize your once beautiful laugh is now a meaningless gesture to throw off anyones suspicion of you life being less then perfect.
its in the darkest times that i find myself at the most peace. the darkest time is when i'm able to be myself and not worry about who's looking.It's in that time that i'm the most afraid for my life for i never know what i might do cause the feeling of being alone is so intense that it just eats away at my insides till nothing but my pathetic life is exposed and my emotions are left to roam freely around letting everyone know whats really going on when all you really want.... is him.
too bad all he wants.... is the girl down the hall.

haha funny thing happens.... you find this amazing guy that likes you and is really sweet... then haha here comes the funny part.... he tells you hes kinda dating someone. then you get this tingly feeling all over and u relize.... it was all a lie