[weirdscarydyke]'s diary

895428  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-01-06
Written: (6327 days ago)

Tell me young child...what is it that you want to be. Do you want to go frolic with the fairies or soar with the gargoyles? Would you like to hunt with the dwarfs or would you rather gather with the nymphs? Becarefull of which you choose, my dear, for once you have chosen you have made enemies who will not save you a place within their prisons. Give this great thought and come to me when you find you have an anser and I will what is in store for you. Be not worried, young baby, you wll always know your way to my hut, no matter which way you turn, but one thing is for certain....You will never be home again. Once you make your choice it is chosen and you will become one of us. You will never again be such a fowl, loathsome little creatur, no, no, no, deary! You will be a mystical, one of the greatest gifts we have given to you disgusting humans..Now be off my darling, and ponder your thoughts. Come when you've gotten your answer.....

894998  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-05
Written: (6328 days ago)

Today, is the day, the day of rememberance. Today is that day that my whole life changed. Today is the day that you gave me my life back. Yesterday was nothing, but today, oh today! Oh my darling love, please listen to these words..I miss you, oh so terribly..but for what reason? You never gave me anything I hadn't already had. You never mentioned feeling anything major towards me. Never had I felt so endowed and attached to someone without knowing why. My heart feels like it's been stolen and thrown out because it was no good. You left me here to die and all I did was live. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted, but it was too much, too much....too much pain..to much anger. All if this is my fault. You left because I couldn't handle having this much, too much bottled up inside me. I didn't know how to talk to someone, I didn't know how to speak. Knowing how much pain I was in, knowing that I could never tell you because I couldn't...I couldn't say then what I can say now because I didn't have a mouth, a voice to announce that I knew what was going wrong,I KNEW what was going to happen. Now that I have a voice, I don't know what I'm going to do with it. You'll never hear the words that I speak..you'll never understand the torture I went through...and you don't have to..I don't deserve a creature, such a lovely, marvelous creature as you...and the fact that I'm so fucked up in my head and just keep getting more fucked and fucked and fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked fucked is going to help us any. I'm just going to leave us alone..forever inside and never remember, speak, never think of it. What we had was way way too much for us to handle, to control. It's fucked up that I'm even writing these thoughts, these............fucked up lies that I can't seem to stop creating just to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I keep pointing fingers and pin-pointing all my fucking pain and torture and depression on others and even biology, when really it's my fault, my own demon that I'm creating within my being to create these massive problems just so I can know, can experience what it's like to feel alive, to feel noticed, one more time, even if that means I'm hated..anything just to get one moment....the one moment when my sanity and insanity clash together and form this robotic, monotonus, pathetic creature that I volunteered to become...

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