*~*funny things we've said 2*~*

hehehe the first one got too big



Scene:[mally runs up to this really pretty flower]
mally: omg look its so pretty, its the most beautiful flower ever *crushes it to the ground*

I killed it



Scene:[mally is examining rosies earings]
mally: omg is that an image of Jesus christ? *realises* OH wait its my reflectoion

Scene:[maths teacher...]
teacher: you know, sometimes i read words that arnt actually there



scene:[In R.E class the teacher asks MALLY what one of the main causes of divorce is. her mind goes blank lol.....]

teacher: Mally, what is one of the main causes of divorce? do you think??
mally: *thinks* um *mind still blank* marraige?

scene: [mally and friend talking about when they wanna die...]

friend: maybe when im like 80 something? In my sleep....:)
mally: IM GOING TO LIVE FOREVER. or atleast, die attempting it.

*Silence*
friend: yes mally.

[OUR UBER FUN MATHS LESSON XD XD >.<]

scene:[Mally writes the word 'quadratic equations' on her book. Izzys staring at her]

izzy: Quadric? what the fuck is quadric?
mally: *silence while she observes her stupidity* Quadratic, Izzy... QWAAARD-RAAAAT-EEEC... Q-U-A-D-R-A-T-I-C. Put the sounds together... Quadratic.

[well it seemed funnier at the time]

scene:[Izzy puts her hand up and asks what something says]


izzy: um what does that say? the little one next to the two
Maths teacher: *silence* are you asking me to tell you what two times two is?
Izzy: *thinks* four?
maths teacher: well done, maybe we can consider moving you to set one ([this is the clever group of people]) where they've mastered the two times tables.
izzy: *Wails* Im so confused....
mally: *laughs hysterically*
Izzy: I feel stupid now >.<

scene:[Pollard (the maths teacher) in the background of mally and izzys conversation...]

pollard: ....bla bla bla....trust the formula.
Izzy:*blank stare* Did he just say "trust the formula?
Mally: yewp.
*silence*

I trust the formula.

Izzy: Formula, I trust you

Scene:[girl in our maths class asks the teacher a dumb question]

girl: Is that cubed or squared?
Pollard: You're asking me if minus three cubed is cubed or squared...*blank stares*
girl: cubed?
pollard: well done.
mally : *laughs hysterically*
Izzy: what what what? tell meeeee.....
mally: well She just said 'is that cubed or squared' and Pollard is like 'your asking me if minus three CUBED is cubed or squared. *laughs more*

*izzy laughs too*

*silence*

Izzy: I dont get it.
mally: *stares blankly*

Izzy: *subdued* They're going to think im such a retard.
mally: yewp
izzy: *sighs*

scene:[Izzy and Mally prancing down school]
mally:: OMFG IZZY I LOVE YOU
Izzy: OMFG MALLY I LOVE ME TOO :)

....................................Later....................................

*we're singing songs*
mally: we are SO cool
Izzy: we ARE. SO MUCH. We are GOOD.
mally: You're good
Izzy: no your good
mally:im good
izzy: your good
mally: im good


scene:[religious education in year 8, talking about who gets the custordy of the children when the parents divorce. the teacher just says that the more responsible parent gets it]
<b>izzy: what if the fathers on crack, the mothers an alcoholic and the brother has direct links to the Al Qiaeda?

*silence*

scene:[mally and vag on the phone]

mally: *says something*
vag: *mummbles*
mally: what?
vag: nothing
mally NO TELL ME
vag: *in the cutest voice ever* no, you'll hit me

[still talking on the phone]

mally: you know, im gonna have a shower today, to make me feel really sexy. And then im gonna get into something nice. Then get naked.

vag: Mally you sound like a sex line

scene:[vag and dave talking on msn]
dave: TOUCH ME
vag : eww no. if i had to touch you, that would involve contact, ide need disinfectant to touch you ([they have a history of violence])
dave: hmmm yes, disinfectant. the more lubricant the better

scene:[. cold day. talking in our fantastic german linguistic skills]

mally: ICH HEISSE KALT
*silence*
emma: my name is cold?
*silence*
mally: uh i mean. ICH BIN KALT.
emma: yeah thats the one cold :P

scene:[mally talking to a friend about this flower thing]

<b>mally: omg there was a really pretty flower out there but it was dead and crushed to the ground....:(somebody killed it

*silence*

friend: did you kill it?

*Silence*

mally: how can you say that!!

friend: did you?

*Real long silence*

mally: oh my god

friend: you did didnt you

mally: thats not the point

*silence*

mally: okay so what if i did


scene:[mally realises she just worked something really clever out...]

<b>mally: *realises she has the upper hand on something BIG* MWHAHA NO ONE CAN DEFEATE ME....NOT EVEN YOU.
friend: Actually...*proves wrong*
mally: shit

scne:[phone conversation]

<b>rosie: *Says something really really funny*
mally: HAHAHAHA i havnt laughed that hard since i was a little boy
*silence*
rosie: um
mally: yeah that was a real conversation killer eh?

scene: [conversation about lying....]

<b>mally: OMG YOU LIED TO HER
friend: no not lying...
mally: what the hell do you call it?!
friend: umm
mally: well?
friend: it was only a little white lie
mally: A LITTLE WHITE LIE?! ITS MORE LIKE A FUCKING HUGE BLACK AND GREASY HAIRY ONE.

#########################################
scene: [well what can i say?]

<b>rosie: have you got the memory of a rock?

#########################################

scne:[ my THEORY]
<b>mally: *trying to seem inteligent by explaing this really long winded theory about um, fire doors*

rosie: you know, you are the reason why people commit suicide

scene: [ during science ]

<b>science teacher: *Stares at me blankly for like 5 minutres* Is there a reason you find this amusing?

mally: lol no, i just dont appreciate being constantly stared at for 5 minutes.

*silence*

teacher:: get on with your work now

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
scene:[ in history class while hes telling us some story thing]

<b>history teacher: So one day i was texting my friends
mally: *whispers* he has FRIENDS?!?!?!?!

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
scene: [me and mmy bootiful brother]

<b>brother: *Getting really really mad*
mally: BLAH. go take a shit

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>

scene:[well you know...]

<b>guy in school being an asshole: you are full of so much crap
mally: well all YOU are is cum, vagina juice and a broken condom.....

*Silence*

mally: suck it UP buttercup. go take a shit (i LOVE that one - you get the best responses)

scene: [history teacher- again]

<b>history teacher: I outshatted myself (sounded like he said that anyway)
mally: you OUTWHATED YOURSELF?

scne: [just PROVING she likes being called vag]

<b>mally: rosie?
*Silence*
mally: Rose??
*Silence*
mally: Rosalind?
*Silence*
mally: Kirkham??
*Silence*
mally: ROSALIND KIRKHAM?
*Silence*
mally: VAGINA?
*TURNS around real fast*

VAG: YEAH?

scene: [ me and vag talking]

<b>* rosies says some really uber serious story. Mally isnt really paying attention. she pauses for a response*

mally: how very erotic

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>

Scene:[*mally writes in her history book something*]

<b>hatty: what does that say? :S
mally: hospital
hatty: uh..no it doesnt.
mally: yes it does
hatty: mally you've written hospalily
mally: NO I HAVNT *checks* oh. Maybe i have

*laugh*

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>

Scene:[*big conversation about lips*]

<b>rosie: *to hatty* you have really thin lips...
hatty: i know :(
izzy: its not bad
hatty: hmmm...*to mally* you have HUGE LIPS
mally: OH THANKS
izzy: thats good....like VELUCTIOUS MELONS
mally: my lips look like veluctious melons
hatty and rosie: hahaha
mally: yeah i know im pouty
hatty: yeah you are lol
mally: omg dont agree with me
rosie: *to izzy* you have really pale lips
mally: OH YEAH i know, their like minge lips *Stops* SHIT. i mean. not minge lips. I mean like, they minnnngle into your skin tone.
*izzy mortified*
mally: NOOO its not like that, its just like a huge opening in your face.
*izzy mortfied*
mally: aaah fuck this *walks away*


([I wasnt saying ANYTHING right today :S])

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>

scene:[*mally very confused in maths- the maths teacher notices and is about to walk up to her when she wails....in a broken sorta mortified scream...*]

<b>mally: DOONT COME NEAR ME
teacher: *not knowing what to say - just stops in his tracks* thats probably the most hurtfull things a pupil has said to me -- "dont come near me"


scene: [me and matt]
<b>mally: my hands are cold
matt: want me to put them down my trousers?

*silence*

matt: That a yes?
mally: No matt.
matt: what is it?
mally: its a no
matt: I tried
mally: *scary stare* you failed
matt: I know
mally: miserably
matt: goodbye
*Silence*
matt: your loss
mally: oh gawwd matt I KNOW!
matt: *blink*

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
#scene:[trying to get matts attentiong]

<b>mally: *trying to get attention* Matt im hurting
Matt im in pain.
Matt i need to talk.
Matt im in love
Matt nothings right
Matt what do i do
Matt im going to cry
Matt i need you to help me
Matt im loosing everything
*gives up*
MATT IM NAKED

*silence*

matt: and your problem is....

*tearfull silence lol*

matt: maybe you should masterbate. *Silence*

<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>

[msn convo]

Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
matt
Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
I love you
Matt says:
n i sexually love u 2
Matt says:
altho i wanna sexually kill u as well
Matt says:
I have to goooo. bye byee
Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
I love you
Matt says:
then y dont u fuck me then
*Goes offline*

scene: [ me and mom]

<b>scene:[ my moms like lecturing me while we were shopping. shes telling me about this person we know]
mom: she spent so much money all the time...always shopping for clothes and stuff, now look whats happened...
mally: what? shes pregnent? (She actually is)what the hell does THAT mean?
mom: lol

scene:[ okay this was in registeration and i was really really tired due to lack of sleep lol. And im like mumbeling something...]
mally: uuugg..uuaah...
hatty: lol
mally: *thinks*whats the time?
hatty: ten to nine
mally: no that wasnt the question *okay <- it sounds weird but its beause like, i was thinking of a question and it didnt come out right so i asked what the time was and um...*
hatty: *doing her 'i-think-your-retarded' face* Yes it was...
mally: *softly* It wasnt in my head...
hatty: well it Was in your voice


scene:[Mally observing rosalinds earings. like DEWD they were this funny coloured and everything....]
mally: OMG is that a picture of Jesus christ in them? *moves head closer before realising*...OH ITS MY REFLECTION. hah.

Scene:[somebody choking]

<b>mally: *Super super concentrating*

*Friend keeps on and on and on coughing CONSTANTLY*

mally: *looks up sternly lol*
friend: im *cough* dying *Cough.....*
mally: Well could you please die silently

Scene: [Sarah and Izzy in Izzy's bedroom]
Izzy: *falls over*
Sarah: Izzy! What happened?!?!
Izzy: ... It hurts me to think.

Scene: [Yet another maths lesson...]
Izzy: What do I do now??!!?
    There's nothing left on the board for me to copy!!!

Scene: [...*blank stare*]
Phil: Evening.
Izzy: OMG IT'S YOU AGAIN
Phil: Never mind...
*pause*
Izzy: Hi.

Scene: [Conversation between Emma and Izzy in computer room]
Emma: *points at screen* OMG! I HAVE ONE OF THEM!! It's a... What do you call it? You put a photo in it?
Izzy:... A photo frame?
Emma: That's the one!!!!!!