A Familiar Face

Original


He awoke slowly, confused, and feeling a dull pain that seemed to be everywhere at once. His crimson eyes fluttered opened, straining hard to see. As his eyes adjusted he was able to make out the room he had been renting for the last few days. What had happened…? He couldn’t quite remember. His hand rose, shakily, to untangle itself from under the covers and he placed his fingers over his straining eyes.

It was with the movement, however, that he reminded himself why he felt as badly as he did. His lips trembled and he felt tears welling in his eyes. He forced his hand away from his face and rose it high in the air. It was bandaged neatly. If he were to bring out his other arm he suspected it would have been too.

He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes again. He had tried again… maybe one last desperate attempt to end all of the suffering he had endured. He was afraid… so afraid of facing the demons that were inside of him… And how ironic it was that they called him ‘demon’. He did deserve such a word… Countless lives had he stolen over the years… Each face haunted him when he dared to sleep… Screams of women and children chased him in the night. The blood… the blood of so many drowned him in his dreams…

Yami made an effort to sit up and he grunted as he did so. The blankets slipped from his bare chest revealing thin white scars. Most coursed his back in ugly lines—
scars from his former Masters… little reminders of how insignificant he had been; how utterly disposable his life was. Every time he saw them he remembered that life not-so-long ago… That life where he had endured the life of a slave. Such a pitiful existence it had been…

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and shaking he lifted his bandaged arms to stare at them. He had tried to kill himself once before … He had been barely nineteen and for someone who would live near three thousand it had been like being a child. A naïve, helpless and lonely child. He had done it because he couldn’t stand watching everything dear to him being taken away. He had lost his few friends, his mentor… Everything had been taken away—one painfully by one…

Though this time he had hurt himself to try and calm the voices that wept so bitterly in his dreams. To try and give them something to smile about—your murder, you poor souls, he is dead now. Gone for good… He can’t hurt anyone ever again… He’s gone.

With a bitter sigh Yami began to unravel the bandages on his right arm. But that wasn’t true, was it? He had failed. Again… Now he sat weak, trembling and fighting tears all over again. That man… That Kaelin… He just didn’t know how to leave a lost cause… That monk just couldn’t walk away. His gentle heart would be the death of him. Yami was sure of that.

“Yami? What are you doing?”

It was him. Yami didn’t need to look to know that it was Kaelin. Yami must have not noticed the blond sitting so silently by the window. No… his grief was so consuming now that he could barely see anything. He could only feel the pain. Oh, how he wished that pain would go away.

Yami, however, did stop unraveling the bandage on his arm obediently and allowed himself to slouch forward. His black hair shifted down his back and he hoped that it would, at least, hide some of the scars. Such shameful marks that laced his skin… How he had allowed himself to submit to those humans… How he had allowed himself to live like that for so long he would never understand.

Kaelin moved across the room quietly. He was barefoot and Yami only noticed because he couldn’t lift his head to look at the monk. The monk quietly sat beside the other on the bed and reached across the demon and began to pull the bandage back into place. Yami watched those hands, so gentle, so insanely beautiful. He wanted to touch those hands, to hold them against his cheek and admire the smoothness… the tenderness.

Kaelin let out a soft sigh and when he was done he reached his arms around the other and pulled him close. Yami didn’t resist… After four years he had grown use to this strangely comforting feeling. This warm embrace… This feeling that made his heart flutter at the touch of the blonds’ body. If only he deserved to feel such feelings he would have greedily accepted the touch. However, because he knew that he did not, he simply let himself be held stoically.

“…We’re going to go to Flanaria,” Kaelin said quietly. Yami could feel the monk nodding sternly. “I think it will be a good place… It is the City of Hope. My hometown... I think Flouresce would enjoy it too.”

Ah… Flouresce, such a sweet girl. She was almost five now, but already she was so beautiful… and so kind. She had undoubtedly taken after Kaelin. Even though she was related to neither, the two men had raised her nonetheless. Yami, you see, had murdered her real parents. Their voices were some of those that screamed at him in his mind. Every time Yami looked to the child he would be reminded of that day. Her crimson locks often reminded him of the blood that had soaked his skin and clothes… It was a horrible feeling to think of how she didn’t know… How she walked side by side with a man she called ‘daddy’ unbeknownst that this imposter had killed her real father…

Kaelin slowly pulled the other away, and Yami couldn’t look at him. He felt like his mind was weighted with guilt and shame. Even opening his eyes was becoming a strain. “It’ll be all right, Yami… Everything will be all right…”

Yami nodded slightly, his jaw clenching. Oh, how he wished Kaelin could only understand…

“Daddy, Papa?” Flouresce called, coming from out of the side room and rubbing her eyes sleepily. She had gotten so big… Her little red hair was lose now, tumbling around her face in wavy locks. She had just woken up and probably hadn’t a clue what had conspired the night before. So innocent… so naïve…

Yami reached back to pull the sheets over his shoulders and tugged them tightly around his body. There was no point to frighten her now. One day she may understand… One day she would hate him too. His heart ached thinking about it.

“Good morning, Flouresce,” Kaelin said cheerily. He stood, and his hand brushed lightly across Yami’s shoulders in an effort to show that he was still there for him. Yami relished the touch, wishing it had lasted longer but knowing that he deserved the pain of that touch leaving far more than the healing it seemed to give him. “Are you ready to go for a trip?” Kaelin continued brightly.

Yami closed his eyes. He could hear Flouresce’s gleeful reply but he forced that sweet voice out of his mind. He forced away all of the things that made him happy. If he couldn’t die, then he at least couldn’t be happy. He didn’t deserve it… He simply just didn’t deserve it.

He lifted his hands up to catch his face and slouched forward. It took him a great deal of effort to not cry.

/The City of Hope?/ he thought bitterly, /We will see./

~*~

“Daddy, daddy! Look there, what’s this? Is this what they call snow?” Flouresce pounced forward into the white fluffy stuff and squealed. She quickly jumped up and began to brush herself off. She was in tears, “It’s cold!”

A slight smile tugged at the corners of Yami’s lips as he watched his daughter brushing the snow from out of the inside of her coats sleeves. She seemed utterly perplexed. It was a wonder how the child hadn’t expected it… All she had done was complain of how cold it was the moment they had arrived. Flanaria was a snow-strewn city nearly all year around. It was something she was going to have to get use to…

“Come here, dear,” Kaelin said laughing as he helped the little girl fight the snow off. “I told you snow was cold.”

“Papa!” Flouresce sniffed loudly and tugged her little hat tighter over her head, “You said that the water here is frozen! Can we go see it? Can we go see the river?” She grabbed hold of the monks hand and then her other seemed to find Yami’s. The demon gave her a startled look but she marched forward as if she didn’t notice. “Come on, daddy. You have to come too. We can see a frozen river together! It will be fun!”

“Wrong way, honey…” Kaelin laughed, steering her to the left. “Yawlen River is this way… It’s a very big river. It’s so big that they had to put a big bridge over it so that people could cross it.”

They happened to be fairly close to the bridge and so when they turned the corner the magnificent of it was in full-view. People clustered together as they passed over it, and even a few stalls had set up along the bridge’s road. It was bustling and lively and everyone seemed to have a smile.

/City of Hope…/ Yami thought absently, taking note of the smiles, including that of Kaelin’s and Flouresce’s. The little girl broke from their hands and ran to the bridge’s railing. She had to pull herself up onto the bench nearby to see over the edge. When she looked over her expression turned to one of blatant awe.

“Papa, what’s that?” she asked, pointing excitedly. There was a cluster of little birds that were only visible because of their black heads and bright little red markings above their eyes. The rest of their bodies were as white as the snow that they tromped over.

“That is called a Ptarmigan,” Kaelin said matter-of-factly. “Little guys are probably looking for handouts… The Flanarian’s tend to feed the wildlife… I’m not sure if I approve of it or not.” He laughed quietly, shrugging.

Flouresce began to tug insistently at the monks sleeve and pointed again, “Where’s the river? I don’t see it. It’s just that white stuff.”

“Yes, it freezes over, remember? There’s still water underneath it, but only a little bit of it is still flowing. Here it’s pretty shallow, but if you look over there,” he leaned his head closer to hers and pointed further up the mighty river. She squinted hard following his hand, “See that little gray stuff over there? That’s a small waterfall. Around there there’s some open water. If you ever see open water on a river you stay away from it, okay?”

Yami looked around slowly. His hands were shoved into his coat pockets and the wooly gray scarf he wore was making his nose tickle. He couldn’t help but notice how no one seemed to be glaring at him. It was almost as if they didn’t notice him… or his red eyes… But didn’t they know? He was a demon… He could kill them with barely a thought if he wanted…

“Yami?”

“Huh?” the black-haired man blinked and looked to the blond.

Kaelin smiled gently, “I said my house isn’t so far from here. It’s Mama’s birthday tomorrow so I imagine my brothers and sisters are home too or will be soon anyways… We should probably get going. Flouresce is looking a little cold.” The red haired girl gave him a miserable nod and tucked her hands inside of her pockets, mirroring that of Yami’s stance. Yami gave her a fond look and she smiled brightly up at him.

“Daddy’s smart,” she said with a short nod. Yami snorted slightly with laughter and followed Kaelin. Flouresce shuffled quickly ahead of him so that she could lead her parents importantly—even though she had no idea where to go. After a few gentle corrections they managed to find their way.

It was a quaint house—simple… Made mostly of smooth gray rocks and mortar. The chimney was puffing out lazy white smoke. The windows—they were decorated with brilliant stain-glass. Yami couldn’t help but feel suddenly very peaceful.

Kaelin didn’t bother to knock. He ushered Yami and Flouresce inside and the three began to stomp their snow-caked boots in the doorway—Flouresce a little more enthusiastically than the other two.

“Ah, Kaelin! It’s good to see you! You brought your friends!” A man called. Yami turned away quickly trying hard not to allow the man to see his crimson eyes. Surely if he saw him…

“Oh, Papa! I’m so glad to be home.”

Yami tried to ignore them—tried to pretend like he didn’t exist, but they were so cheery. He could hear Kaelin’s father and Flouresce talking. The little girl seemed very excited. She always seemed so excited…

“And… This is Yami. The man I wrote to you about,” Kaelin was saying quietly. “Yami,” the monk reached out and gently tugged the demon about. Yami did not raise his gaze and instead stood awkwardly by the entry. “This is my Papa, Xavier.”

“A pleasure, Yami. Truly.” The man extended his hand and Yami hesitantly raised his gaze. Green eyes greeted him along with a charming smile. Yami noticed that the smile did not falter when their eyes met. Swallowing back his fears the demon shook the hand firmly. “A friend of Kaelin is a friend to our family. You are most welcomed here.”

“…Thank you,” Yami replied quietly, shyly. How odd it was to be greeted with such sincerity.

“My wife is still trying to get the bakery closed up for the night—but I bet she’s only late because she’s going to spoil the family again.” Xavier laughed pleasantly, running his hand through his shortly cropped brown hair. It was strange how different Kaelin and his father looked—but their demeanor, their smile and their charisma was the same. As was their height. Yami tried not to frown as he eyed how tall the other man was. Freaking giants… all of them. “Ah, Kaelin. Your sister Rose is helping your mother. Evan hasn’t arrived yet but he probably won’t be here until tomorrow anyways. Lily said she was probably going to be a few days late. She had to finish up some building design back in Avian Lane. Klaus is around here somewhere.”

Klaus…

Yami’s head lifted slightly and he blinked once. Long ago he had known a man named Klaus. Professor Vatererde... He had been the closest thing to a friend Yami had had in the Academy. But, Klaus was dead. Klaus had been murdered all of those years ago. It was strange how a simple name could stir up so many emotions.

“Well that’s okay,” Kaelin said shrugging, “Let’s just get some hot tea for Yami and Flouresce. It’s been a chilly day!”

Yami allowed himself to be lead into the house further but a part of him was trying to shake the suddenly déjà vu feeling he was starting to get. He was beginning to shake and he wasn’t sure why. Anxious? Maybe… He shouldn’t be so—

“There you are, Klaus! How are you?” Kaelin called as they entered the kitchen. Yami’s gaze instinctively rose.

Klaus straightened fully where he stood—green eyes startled. He reached up to fix his glasses—glasses that Yami swore were exactly the same as he remembered them. “…Yami?” the man voiced slowly, confused. “Is… is that you?”

Yami’s mouth worked to find words but nothing seemed to be coming to his suddenly blank mind. No… No that couldn’t be right… Professor Klaus Vatererde was dead… He was dead. He was dead, right? His father had told him so… His father had told him that Professor Klaus was dead… this couldn’t.

His head was swimming and he reached up to press his palm to his forehead, shaking his head. If… If Klaus was actually alive… then that meant he had left… He had left him like everyone else had back then. Abandoned him to the scornful glares and the hatred that had followed him every day of his life. Why had Klaus befriended him only to fake his own death to escape him? Rage like he hadn’t felt in years began to spread like wildfire throughout Yami’s body.

“Yami, I can’t believe it’s you.” Klaus shook his head, one hand resting at the slight curve of his hip. He use to always stand like that when he taught as well… So nonchalant… so damn friendly… “You’ve grown so much…”

“You lied.” The words were spoken quietly, but undoubtedly laced with venom. Yami clenched his teeth tightly feeling burning tears in his eyes. Klaus had so persistently pursed a friendship with Yami all of those years ago. He had shown him kindness—he had shown him that the life of a demon wasn’t as bad as everyone made it seem. He had given him a reason to come to that school that hated him so much and to better himself. Then he had just up and left without a word. Klaus had wounded him worse than any beating under his former masters had. These wounds were far deeper, much harder to staunch.

Klaus took a few hesitant steps towards the demon and Yami likewise backed up. Kaelin stared, wide eyed between his brother and friend—completely at a loss. “What’s… going on here? Do you two… know each other?” Kaelin’s lavender eyes blinked questioningly and he reached to pull Flouresce close. The little redhead was looking increasingly more alarmed by the sudden tension in the room.

“What do you mean… I lied?” Klaus asked slowly, eyes narrowing slightly. “I don’t know what that means.”

“You know perfectly well what it means,” Yami replied curtly, scowling. How every particle in his body wished to tear that man apart. Yami felt his fingers twitching and he noticed how Klaus’ eyes followed the movement. Klaus knew. Klaus knew he could be a dead man with barely a thought.

“Let’s talk.” Klaus said somberly. “Come on.” For some reason Yami didn’t unleash the devastating spell lingering in the back of his mind. He simply accepted how Klaus moved to him, put one arm around his shoulder and turned and led him away from the dumbfounded stares. Yami felt numb. He knew he wanted to get away but he simply couldn’t. It… it was so strange.

Klaus sat the demon on the sofa and then took the armchair opposite of him. His hands were interlaced neatly between his knees and he was leaning forward. His green eyes searched the demon intently. “You look sad,” Klaus finally commented.

Sad? He felt mad… Yami glared at the other, “You faked your death so you could escape me. Why?”

Klaus’ brow furrowed and he gave the other a quizzical look. “Faked my death?” He paused for a moment, frowning. “No, Yami. I was exiled from Aurora City by orders of the King.”

Yami blinked slowly. Orders of his father?

“If I didn’t leave I was punishable for my crimes through death. Yami, I would have done something to contact you by I didn’t have the time. I had Gabriel with me. The exile had been extended to him as well…” Klaus snorted, “A child… How the King could threaten the life of a child…” Klaus trailed off, sighing.

Yami sunk back into the sofa, feeling very stupid. Of course his father had forced Klaus to leave. It was because Klaus had shown him his true potential… He had told him not to be afraid of the innate magic, the intellect and all of those ‘unnatural’ gifts that he had been born with. Professor Klaus had taught him to accept himself… Oddly Yami could still feel that peace that he had felt so long ago. It was a second-hand feeling, of course. Feelings of what he vaguely remembered but it was a feeling different than the hatred he had felt all of these years for himself. Though over four hundred years ago he had been an innocent child. Today he was a murderer. You can’t be at peace with yourself when you had destroyed your right for peace.

“Yami?”

“What?” Yami snapped back unintentionally. He swallowed thickly, looking away.

“…” Klaus sat back in the chair, looking the other over quietly. “A lot has happened since I’ve been exiled. To you I mean. What happened? You’re not the gentle and shy boy I remember.” Yami looked at him and Klaus couldn’t help but notice how defensive that glare was. “I’ve heard rumors since your exile… Were you a thief? Did you steal from people?”

“Of course.” The former prince of Aurora did not feel like explaining.

Klaus hesitated, “And… the murdering? You did… you did that too?”

“Yes.”

Klaus shook his head, “I don’t believe that. I can’t believe that you would turn to a life of crime without a reason. What happened? Why would you do that?”

How could he explain that within days of his exile—that gentle and shy boy that Klaus remembered had been lured into slavery where he had lost all of that gentle and shy nature and had become the stoic and distrustful man he was today? How could he explain that he had endured three Masters—all equally evil in their own way that molded him into the person he was? How could he explain that sudden breaking point when he had freed himself of the magical suppressing amulet to only kill anything that came within view? How could he explain? How can you justify it? How can murder ever be explained?

Yami decided it couldn’t explain it and so he simply closed his eyes and sighed, wishing that his former Professor would just leave him alone.

“The reason why I know something terrible happened and that there was a reason—is because you’re with my brother.” Yami opened his eyes slightly and turned his head just enough so that he could see Klaus. The man’s head was hung and what locks of his long brown hair didn’t stay in his pony-tail and fallen free around his face. “My brother wouldn’t travel with you if he thought you were dangerous. He especially wouldn’t let that little girl stay near you either if he thought that. Whatever happened is behind you now. He’s with you now because you’re a danger to yourself. Kaelin’s not one to leave someone to suffer.” Klaus raised his head. “You’ve suffered a lot. If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask him. For some reason I know you’ve told him everything.”

Yami stared hard at him and did not answer.

“Fine..” Klaus said quietly, standing. He couldn’t blame Yami… He couldn’t blame that he didn’t see him as a friend anymore. It had been so long ago… Yami had been only eighteen. Now he had to be somewhere near five-hundred. There was no friendship left. There was no reason for the little demon to open up to him. Klaus turned to leave.

“Where is Gabriel?” Yami voiced suddenly, surprising even himself. Gabriel had been near Flouresce’s age when Klaus had left all of those years ago. Maybe it was just the association that was forcing him to ask.

“Gabe?” Klaus blinked slowly and his head dropped slightly. He took a deep breath and said softly, “Gabe died a few years after our exile. He contracted smallpox in a village I was teaching in…” Klaus blinked several times as he recalled the painful memory, “At least half of the children died there and a third of the adults. It… It was awful.”

“I’m sorry,” Yami said quietly—and he was… Gabriel had been so promising of a child. He had been so smart and so engaging… and so very curious.

“Yeah, me too.” Klaus smiled somewhat awkwardly and waited a moment longer to see if Yami would say anything more. The demon did not and so the elf turned and quietly left the room.

Yami sighed softly. He realized that had he been in Klaus’ position and Flouresce’s life was at stake… He probably would have left too. He would have left without a word to anyone. Feeling a tightening in his chest and knowing that one day he may snap like he did the night he killed Flouresce’s parents, he wondered if he should get up and leave right now… Before he could hurt anyone else. Before he could hurt her again. Or that damn monk.

Yami moved to stand but suddenly Flouresce came bounding into the room. With a leap she jumped right into his arms and hugged him tightly, “Daddy, are you okay? You look really sad. I don’t like it when you look sad…” She blinked her green eyes widely and reached up to tangle her little fingers in his long black hair. “Don’t be sad daddy. It’s pretty here. We can play in the snow and that will make you better. We can play together. Will that make you feel better?”

Yami swallowed back the ache in his throat that was making his eyes water and he smiled at his daughter. “Yes,” he replied simply, smiling. She beamed back at him.

Yes… it would make him so happy to see her play in the snow. To see her have a good life. To see her smile. It would make him so happy… and it was with this realization that Yami knew exactly why he should accept the happiness that he fought back all of these years. To see him happy made her happy. That was good enough of a reason to smile.

And so he would fake the smiles for now. Yet somewhere deep inside of him, a part of his soul that was still gentle and shy, was a longing for a day when the smiles would be real.


[Ramirez]


<sub>A/N:Yeah, so. Lots of angst. Angst, angst, angst. This is a part of Yami's life where he's struggling to find that inner-peace. I assure you, he finds it eventually and all the emoness stops. But it sure is fun to write with.

I wasn't sure how to end it or even how to go with the conversation with Klaus (who mirrors my looks the most out of all my characters! Not his height, he's 5'11" I'm 5'2"... just thought that was a fun fact...>> Not the height part... I meant the... agh, whatever. Moving on). Klaus I find an interesting character and I actually made him Kaelin's older brother as an afterthought. I had actually named one of Kaelin's brother's Klaus before I made up the name Klaus (which was my German name in high school) as the Professor and when I was looking back I was like, "That could be an interesting twist..." So you can imagine that Klaus is a lot older than Kaelin. Considering Kaelin is 153 years younger than Yami and one is usually around 120 when they 'graduate' and start a profession... so yeah... anyways.

I'm sorry, Gabriel. I really am. But you have no place later in my novel. TT-TT;;

And in my defense, I ended this story while trying to cope with a hangover (completely my brothers fault, let's all blame him). So I'm not sure how well I connected with the characters at the end, but I thought it was decent enough to stay.</sub>



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