All had been relatively quiet in the loft for about two weeks. With the end of October came the nippy winds of November. Olivia spent countless hours reciting lines and making faces into her mirror. Chilla spent hours reading and doing whatever Chilla usually did to lay back. Kyle had made it his personal mission to learn how to skate down the spiral staircase without ending up with internal bleeding. Charles spent countless hours in his room accommodating his OCD. Max continued to review her tapes she'd installed around the home just in case something paranormal occurred. Kyle's midnight habits were disturbing to say the least. All in all the events in the loft had been boring... until...
"THREE STAPLES THIS TIME!"
Kyle said, sticking his board in the air victoriously. He'd just gotten back from the hospital to get the last of them removed. He shall conquer the spiral stair case yet.
"I'm going to laugh when you die."
Max said clicking away on her keyboard.
"I hope my last words are 'this is gonna be so cool'"
Kyle said gleefully, swinging his board as if beating back invisible beasts.
"Dude. You're crazy."
Charles said as he finally came out of his room, watching Kyle battle invisible monsters with his board.
"They said the morphine would fade in a few hours"
Kyle said, grinning insanely at Charles "Did you know that you're purple?"
"Did you know you're insane?"
Charles said with a laugh
"Did you know you ate the last of the pizza this morning?"
Max said continuing on her computer "I thought I won the arm wrestling match."
"Yes and yes!"
Kyle said happily "I needed my strength up for the staples to be removed."
"Keep telling yourself that Jocko."
Max said typing on her keyboard with one hand. her other brought a stiff cup of coffee to her lips.
"Here"
Kyle said, handing her a cup of coffee that he'd brought with him "It might have some morphine in..."
"Might? Probably."
Charles said rolling his eyes
"No thanks."
Max said "I prefer natural drugs." Despite her comment she took a drag off menthol cigarette. There was a fan set up next to her desk which drew the smoke out one of the small windows. A loft vote had designated this as her smoking area.
"So do we have anything left int he fridge? Cuz I'm starving..."
Charles. asked before even attempting to check the fridge itself
"Nothing that's not growing hair."
Max said typing, sipping and smoking. "It's Olivia's turn to clean it out. I think there's bratwurst left over from the 4th of July... NO YOU IDIOT!" She shouted at the computer "I said have Amy shoot him with acid THEN Crys was gonna zap him with her Pokemon! Omg you tell people this stuff and no one listens. They gripe cause they know too much then bitch because they don't know enough. It's really gonna confuse them when we go forward in time."
"Trouble in paradise again, Max?"
Charles asked her with a chuckle, knowing exactly what she was talking about seeing as he was a member of the game as well.
"And this SOD guy,"
Max began. She obviously didn't know Charles was the same user. "I make him a mod and he doesn't do anything. He's supposed to be archiving pages but I end up doing that too. And this Chel chick! Gets mad things are going slowly but she doesn't watch any of the new pages. I mean the links are posted in green! come on."
(ooc: all in good fun!!!)
Charles shook his head lightly, a little bit amused that she was making fun of him and slightly annoyed by it at the same time. It was obvious she hadn't a clue that he was SOD.
"Hooray from weird people on the other side of the world!"
Kyle said happily, grabbing his coffee back and taking another sip which caused him to see purple sea lions skating across the ceiling. "Stuff's wearing off..." he muttered, eying the bottom of the cup and growling at it as it eyed him back.
"S'better than Pnelma,"
Chilla said from within her comic book on the couch. "That bitch is never on when the shit hits the fan." She turned a page. "Hey, you guys wanna go see a movie tonight?"
Kyle froze in place, Chilla sitting behind him so he couldn't see her. "You guys hear that?" he asked.
"I was gong to go see Rambo by myself."
Max said still typing "But cause none of you really appreciate Stallone's work."
"Hey, hey, hey!"
Chilla yelled back. "I like Stallone fine! We can go see Rambo!" She ignored the ramblings of the man behind her, mostly because she dismissed them as drug-induced.
Max looked at Chilla in disbelief. "Really?" She was shocked "No one wanted to watch the first three when I rented them last week... Then again you where doing whatever it was you where doing at the time."
"You rented the first three?!"
Chilla exclaimed. "Last week I was gone almost entirely, between work and meeting people for the shoot! Jeez, you could've hung on to them for a little while longer, don'tcha think?"
Olivia walked downstairs and to the fridge. "Quit your bickering, Max. It's hard to act in my room when I can hear your voice rattling the floor." She opened the fridge and pulled out a gallon of orange juice. She drank it straight from the bottle and put it back. It was very close to expiring.
"Well maybe if you knew how to act in the first place."
Max trailed off
"Well excuse me for actually having goals in life. Unlike you who is going nowhere."
Olivia argued.
"Ouch Liv, that was a little harsh. Even for you..."
Charles said quietly. He shrugged. "I'm not really into Rambo. I kinda want to see Cloverfield."
"Yea, that looks interesting but they are profiting from it only because people are so damn curious."
Olivia added, "I want to see The Orphanage. It's a foreign film and they don't play it everywhere. I tried to watch it online, but their weren't subs."
"My occult oriented online store is playing out very well."
Max argued about Liv's comment about going no where. "And Cloverfield is a glorified monster movie. Made on the same lines as Blair Witch. Some oaf with a camera trying to 'document' the things going on around him. If he had any brains he's drop the damn thing and get out of the city. Rambo might seem like an action movie but it really involves the years of brainwashing, war and military training has on a mind. A simple Arizona man torn between the killing machine inside him and just wanting to live in peace." She said all this while continuing to type and stair at the computer screen.
"I think maybe you're reading too much into that, Max,"
Chilla said. "Besides, I heard the Orphanage was bitchin', but fuckin' disturbing. Do you wanna go see an excellent movie and not sleep tonight because you've lost all faith in humanity?" She leaned back to look at Olivia.
Olivia simply grinned cynically, giving Chilla the answer. She walked over to a window and looked out, "Damn it....I hate fall."
"So what are we seeing?"
Max said deciding not to take on Chilla's "reading too much into it" comment.
Kyle was just staring at the blank TV "You mean I'm not watching something now?" he asked before falling forward onto the couch lazily. "How about we make our own movie! With special effects and stunts and.... ummmm... MAKE OUTS!"
"Serious? But I'm the only one who actually
could do it. And like hell am I going to do it in front of you guys for mere amusement."
Olivia explained.
"Hey."
Chilla looked back at her with a straight face. "I've got money."
"Just because I don't act doesn't mean I can't."
max said still typing at her computer. "there is much more in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
"Max, darling,"
Chilla sighed. "Committing lines to memory does not an actor make. Hate to break it to ya." She half-grinned, messing with her friends. "Anyway, you both totally turned down the opportunity to be in my movie, so whatever."
Max jumped up in a tyrade, showering the room with papers. "YOU KNOW WHAT?" She shouted "I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF ALL YOU TALKING DOWN TO ME! What is it? Cause I'm the goth chick I can;t have emotions or aspirations other than those that verge on the creepy side of life? Excuse me if I don;t meat your motherfucking expectations." She sat back down and added "How was that for acting?"
"Wonderful. Now, do it again, only with passion!"
Chilla encouraged from the couch, her director's side taking over for a moment. "And maybe at a Dutch angle."
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news..."
Olivia started, "but you spelled 'meet' wrong."
"It's part of the charm, I think,"
Chilla grinned, turning back to her comic book.
Charles flopped down onto the couch and put a pillow over his head. "You guys are awful boring you know that right? It's always the same thing with all of you."
"I think I wanna pick up karate."
Olivia said randomly, "Yoga or something....m
aybe buy a puppy."
"A guy came to our office a few days ago... at my work..." Kyle said, watching the still blank TV "He said he was a magician but one of those cool kinds... you know, who put drills through their hands. He said he could do this trick with a puppy and a wood chipper... turned out to be puppy-cide."
"Ooooh, and you're so exciting yourself, Charlie?" Chilla replied. "I don't see you feeding puppies through wood chippers. Pick up the slack, man."
Finaly Max pried herself form her computer only to be barked at by an MSN nudge. She returned the nudge and said her final goodbye. "I'm gonna go see some people get cut in half with an M60." She said picking up her bag and keys. "If you wanna go you've got 37 seconds."
Chilla fell off the couch and grabbed her coat. "Coming!" She called, grinning. "C'mon, Liv! It'll be good to go see some mindless gore. S'good for the acting muscles!"
Grabbing a fall jacket and scarf, Liv went to the others, "Coming boys?"
Charles yawned and nodded. "I guess I could sleep just as well at the movie theater."
"mmmmmm, guns" Kyle said, getting up from the sofa and walking after them. He grabbed his wallet from the side table, someone had to pay.
Downstairs waited a slightly dilapidated black, 70's model hearse. Max began to bark orders. "No eating, drinking, drooling or leakage of any bodily fluid inside my car." She began "Especially crying. We will never play that game where when we stop at a red light everyone scrambles out and into different seats. There will be no mooning, changing of the radio stations or back seat driving. Windows will remain up at all time unless I dictate so. A $2 cover charge will be collected for gas unless an equal trade can be arranged. If we can all follow these rules we will have a safe and smooth ride to the cinema. I just got this thing last week and no one, I MEAN NO ONE will break the rules." She opened her door to reveal that a back seat had been fitted to the casket compartment.
"Who wants shotgun?" Charles asked lazily, not really intending on the seat for himself. He'd be just as happy in the back. He wasn't much of a Rambo fan, so he figured he'd actually take a nap during the movie, as long as nobody elbowed him
"I call it," Chilla said, grinning. "Th'back seat's for corpses." She swung into the seat. "I don't see why we can't take my car. I got the brakes fixed, didn't I?"
"I looked again and they looked broke to me..." Kyle said, piling into the back of the car and trying to make sure he sat next to Olivia "And they're still dripping that gross oily looking stuff."
Olivia clung to a handle on the wall of the corpse car. Tucking her knees in, she waited.
Max settled into her seat. "Keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. Emergency exits are located directly in back and the sides." She made sure everyone was settled and had their seatbelts on before taking off down the street.
"It's part of the charm," Chilla protested at Kyle. "It's the way I know how to get back home! I follow the grease lines!"
Charles climbed into the back seat and strapped himself in in a heart beat. He had no fear of Max's driving capability, but the fact that they were in a Hearse just made him a little uncomfortable.
"I wonder if we go reaaaaal slow outside a church, will a loud of people take their hats off out of respect..." Kyle said, his own belt half buckled out of laziness and the sheer fact he was higher than a stoned weather balloon.
"Lets find out." Max said and took a quick left turn. She slowed down dramatically outside a catholic church where apparently people where heading into mass. A few noticed the vehicle and did bow their heads and remove their hats "Success!" Max laughed and sped away, being sure to fish tail as she turned onto the next street.
"TO OLD TO DIE YOUNG!" Kyle yelled, sticking his hand out the window and sticking two fingers up at the guys as they drove past. He'd had to lean across Olivia to do this... who was he kidding, he did it so he could lean across her.
"Knock it off, man!" Olivia pushed him away, "So young and immature. Who the hell gives the peace sign anymore? That is SO 1998..."
"Peace?" Kyle blinked as he was shoved back into his seat "Who said anything about peace?"
"Remember this one?" Max said and held up a specific finger. "The peace sign will never die. It's like the term 'cool', 'rock on' or 'kick ass'. That shit will never die man."
Olivia sighed and placed her elbow on her knee and held her head up with her palm. Sometimes she just hated everyone.
"What are we seeing anyway?" Kyle asked, taking another sip from his morphine laced coffee
"I think they agreed on Rambo, remember?" Charles said while rolling his eyes
"Ew-" Olivia spat out, staring with her eyes half open at the opposing wall of the hearse.
"Well Liv, I don't want to see Rambo either. How about you and I go and see The Bucket List?" Charles offered her with a charming smile
"Oh! That one looks pretty good. It's got those two guys in it, right?" Olivia asked, "Looks like something that would make me cry though. I would see anything over Rainbow" she mocked.
"Then it's a date?" Charles asked her hopefully. He was the nerdy guy, a chance to go tot he movies with the would-be model was like a lifetime dream of every nerd in existence
"We'll just have to see how Max reacts in her next post, won't we?" Olivia winked at him.
"Yeah I suppose. We'll be lucky if she doesn't crash the car, right?" Charles said with a chuckle.
The car suddenly screeched to a halt and Max yelled out the window. "GET OFF THE STREET YA BUM!" She brought her head back in and glared at Liv and Charles threw the mirror "Lousy kids."
Charles' heart nearly stopped when she slammed the brakes. He thought for sure it had to do with his courting Liv.
"Ever thought of working as a stunt driver Max?" Kyle asked, the only one seemingly unshaken by the sudden stop.
"ever thought of not using your head as a landing pad?" Max asked
"So.." Kyle said after an uncomfortably long silence. For the others anyway, he had little understanding of these things so it was just boring for him "When are we off again? We're gonna miss the movie at this rate."
There was a lot of squealing or tires, lane changing and honking of horns but they finally arrived at the movies.
"Is it just me, or did that drive feel like it took weeks?" Olivia asked, crawling out from the back door of the hearse onto the pavement.
Charles climbed out after her and nodded in agreement. "Sure took longer than I expected."
"I feel like I've aged a year," Chilla complained. "Fuckin' traffic in this fuckin' city."
"Don't know what you guys are talking about" Kyle said as he stretched out and almost did something to Olivia by accident that in some places he would have been forced to marry her for.
"Hey watch it, Kyle." Charles said, shoving him away from Olivia. "You trying to grope her or what man?!"
"Huh?" Kyle blinked "Na, sorry I was stretching.. didn't see where my hands were going. Anyway, I'd wait until we're inside the dark cinema wouldn't I..."
"That's what you think man." Charles told him sternly. There was no way he was letting Kyle get near Olivia tonight.
Olivia groped herself, "Do that again and you won't have any hands left."
"I'm not going to, and I didn't even do it the first time!" Kyle pointed out indignantly.
"Riiiight." Olivia said, "Anyways...move now, yes?"
Charles offered Olivia his arm. "Shall we get our tickets, Liv? Let the others see their Rambo."
She took his arm, "What a gentleman." Olivia admitted, letting him lead.
"Dammit" Kyle hissed, rubbing his arm "A guy cant even stretch without getting blamed for sexual molestation."
Smiling, Charles lead Olivia over to the box office. "We'll take two for the Bucket List."
Olivia watched as he paid for her, "You really don't have to...I have money."
Charles shook his head. "A gentleman doesn't allow for a beautiful lady to pay."
Olivia's cheeks turned red and she suddenly got shy, clasping her hands together at the bottom of her skirt.
"You know, Liv, red is a lovely color on you." Charles told her with a smirk.
"Excuse me whilst I vomit." Max said brushing pass them. The tail of her trench swaying in an irritated manner. She headed to the front of the theater.
"Well, while we're on the subject, I've always kind of wanted to learn how to projectile vomit on command," Chilla said thoughtfully. "That way, I could humiliate people on public television and get away with it by saying I have a medical condition."
Kyle followed Max and Chilla, his feet dragging and his head bowed. He looked worse than the time he'd smashed through six plates of glass and bounced of the seventh. He felt confused, why was he being blamed for trying to molest Liv when he'd just stretched.
Up at the ticket counter Max gave the woman inside the "Just a sec" gesture and turned back to everyone else. ":OK are we all seeing Rambo or are you two-" She indicated Charles and Liv "Going to see a girlie movie?"
"It's not a girlie movie." Olivia glared back at Max, "It doesn't have to be completely loaded with killings to be a good movie."
"So we don't like to see all the explosions and senseless violence in Rambo. That doesn't make the Bucket List a girlie movie, Max." Charles said, defending the movie that he new was bound to be a good one.
"Whatever." Max said and turned back to the ticket counter "Three for Rambo."
Suddenly, Charles looked away from Liv because something odd was happening inside of the theater. Apparently, there was some naked delirious person yelling obscenities running around in the lobby
"Nice...." Olivia said, watching the crazy person. "There is something you don't see everyday."
"Yeah...." Charles agreed, finding it hard to shake from his mind. "Why is that guy wearing wooden sandals and what's with the big balled necklace?"
"Well, regardless," Chilla said, blushing furiously, "He's very....well-endowed for a crazy."
Kyle cocked his head to one sighed "Dunno. Seen crazier. What are those necklaces called again? Shaolin beads or something?"
"So that would make him what? A naked Shaolin Monk?" Charles asked curiously
"Or someone who likes Asian fighting movies and littttttle bit too much" Kyle muttered as the man was dragged from the cinema.
"That would make more sense in New Orleans," Chilla agreed. "Come on, let's go." She lead them into the theater, waving goodbye to Olivia and Charles as they left.
Charles offered his arm to Olivia. "Shall we, Liv?"
Liv nodded and took his arm, letting her be lead to their theater.
Kyle sighed and slumped over, watching Livia before following the others into Rambo.
Charles smiled and lead Liv into The Bucket List
Two hours or so later the group converged outside the theater once more. However the world they'd left behind by walking into the theater was distinctively different now. It was daylight outside now, the sky was a brilliant shade of lavender with pink clouds. The road was no longer paved and the streets around them had transformed into dewy hillsides of blue grass. Where the hearse had been sitting on the street there was now a giant squirrel hitched to a large ornate surrey.
"What the fuck?" Max said blatantly. "Since when did we live in Strawberry Shortcake Land?"
"Was there LSD in this?!" Olivia asked, looking down at her almost fully eaten popcorn bucket. She shook her head and tossed it over her shoulder and stared at the odd spectacle in front of them.
"Isn't this stuff worn off yet?" Kyle asked as he threw his morphine laced coffee cup in the bin from thirty feet away. "Ah well" he trotted out into the street; at least for him it wasn't much of a change.
"I fucking hate squirrels..." Max said slowly. in truth she didn't hate them she was terrified of them
Charles looked at the rest of them with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?"
"Can you not see the giant squirrel?!" Max shouted "Someone do something!"
Olivia stepped forwards, into the green patch. She glided her hands along the flowers and tall grass a little. "Feels so real...what the hell is going on?!"
Charles yawned and looked at where the car was. He took his glasses off and wiped them down on his shirt. When he put them back on he nearly shit himself. "Wow. That's a big squirrel..."
"This is seriously messed up guys." Olivia said, not knowing what else to say really.
"Does anyone else have the urge to try and ride on that squirrel?" Charles asked with a grin
"You can see it too?" Kyle said as he poked the squirrel in the back of the head.
"Well duh. We can all see it." Charles said with a nod. "I'm not sure it's a good idea to poke the giant squirrel..."
"No, no, let him do it," Chilla said faintly. "If anyone can survive whatever a giant squirrel does in reaction to that, it's Kyle."
Charles looked at Chilla and chuckled, nodding in agreement actually. It was true...even if the squirrel tried to eat Kyle, somehow he'd survive.
"TALLY" Kyle jumped up, grabbing hold of the squirrels shoulders and using them to guide his way "HO!" He landed on the squirrels back with a thump, wrapping his legs around it to lock himself in place.
"NO YOU FOOL!" Max Shouted. She made to stop Kyle but it was too late.
As Kyle lunged atop the squirrel there was a massive commotion. Much like a cartoon fight dust billowed up around the squirrel and Kyle as the thing attacked. There was flying fur, hair and patches of clothing. The sound of something being kicked was followed by Kyle being spat out of the fray. The squirrel went back to just standing there, grooming it's self.
Olivia stared and couldn't help but laugh at the sight a little. "Are we all high or did we end up in another dimension?"
"I don't know." Max said. She fidgeted back and forth staring at the squirrel. "But in every comic book I've ever read and horror movie I've seen ... the first step to discovering what's going on in the story usually has something to do with a supporting character's fear of the thing that will most aid the group as a whole..." Suddenly she thought that what she'd just said sounded ether rather dorky or highly inelegant.
Feeling that she was the main, Olivia looked at Max, "Well who is the supporting character?"
"Well considering every horror movie group of individuals has the stereotypical stoner or goth chick and I'm both AND afraid of squirrels I'd guess it'd be me!" Max said anxiously. "Then again every group also has it's stereotypical bimbo so that makes you a supporting character too..." She then looked around their group and saw the smart chick, the nerdy guy and the jock. "We're fucking screwed."
Olivia thought for a moment, "At least I won't die till later...." she concluded, hoping she was correct.
Max didn't say anything. Olivia was indeed right but Max also knew that The Goth Chick usually was one of the first to go. Considering their chances Chilla had the best chance of surviving.
"Man, am I glad none of us are black," Chilla said faintly.
"Like that would make much of a difference anyway." Charles said rolling his eyes. "So seriously, what the hell happened? Di dwe go into an alternate dimension focused solely around Max's fears or what?"
The world finally stopped spinning for Kyle, so he got and wriggled his fingers as he readied to attack the squirrel again "I'm gonna hog tie your ass..."
"That was oddly specific." Olivia said to Charles. She grabbed Kyle by shit shirt, keeping him from the large rodent, "Down boy."
"But I want to whoop the squirrel" Kyle whimpered as he sat back on the ground, staring up at Olivia.
Max pulled a large mallat from behind her back and whacked Kyle over the head with it. "Oh my god... It's not true!" She looked at the others in utter horror. THe mallet in her hand bringing it all together
Kyle groaned and rubbed his head; a large comedy bump was growing there "Oh dear god tell me we're not trapped in an anime."
Olivia raised a brow, "More like a childish American cartoon....not an anime."
"No. THis is horrifying but an aniime would be worse."Max said "In an anime there would be a riddel to the secret of getting back and a big evil homophobic bad guy to defeat. And someone would get raped by a tentacle monster. mostlikely Liv."
Please be anime please be anime please be anime Kyle thought over and over "What is it then?"
"Like Liv siad." Max said "Childish American cartoon. And if I didn;t know better the longer we stay here the quicker be become part of the cartoon. We'll turn into characters.
"Quick, we need to stop this before Olivia turns into Minerva!" Kyle said, half joking and half wondering what he'd turn into.
Olivia punched him in the arm, "You come off as a Spongebob to me."
"I call Jessica Rabbit," Chilla grinned, leaning on one hip seductively. "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way," she sighed lustily.
Kyle glanced up at Max "How do we stop it anyway?" he asked, ignoring the less than subtle spongebob joke. It was made even less subtle by the fact Olivia hit him...
"I have no idea." Max said still eyeing the squirrel.
"Well, if you're Jessica Rabbit, who gets to be your Roger?" Charles asked Chilla curiously. He could totally see her as being a Jessica Rabbit and to be honest he was at times as clumsy as Roger Rabbit was.....
Chilla smirked and whistled, 'Shave and a haircut...'
Charles grinned and got an idea. If they were actually in a cartoon...He pulled on his chin and yanked back his hair. In a matter of seconds he was clean shaven and had a hair cut to match Roger Rabbit's. "How do I look?"
Chilla rolled her eyes and laughed. She'd hoped he'd be quick enough to whistle back, 'two bits', but one can't have everything.
Feeling like he had missed something, Charles simply righted his hair and shrugged.
"Please not speed racer, please not speed racer" Kyle whispered, patting his head now and then to make sure there wasn't a helmet on it.
Olivia was already down the hill they were standing on and walking out into the grass patch. It was so bright and colorful here, "It's like the freaking rainbow puked all over."
"I hate to say it but I think we should follow the path." Max said. The road was bright yellow and made of cobblestone.
Kyle looked around, something went click in his head. "Max" he said firmly, standing up "Come here."
"No." Max said firmly, she even took a step away from Kyle. "What is it?"
"If we're going over this" Kyle pointed at the yellow brick road "I'm going to have to carry you... and run like hell."
Olivia looked back at the group and walked slowly back.
Charles looked at Liv and raised an eyebrow. He quickly grabbed a hold of it before it rocketed off to the moon. "This is f*BLEEP*in ridiculous..." He simply stared as his voice was bleeped out. "...did I just get censored???"
Olivia blinked at the sound that came out when Charles spoke. "F*BEEP*..." Her face went blank, "What the f*BEEP*?!"
Kyle grinned widely, then took a long deep breath. "*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP*" he began singing opera in swear beeps.
Olivia covered her ears and stuck her hand in Kyle's mouth to shut him up, "That hurts."
"Dude...what the f*BEEP* did you say???" Charles asked, staring at him in disbelief. Where did he think he was, the Jerry Spring Show? This was obviously some kind of children's show...
Kyle glared and began to gnaw on Olivia's hand firmly, a half muffled "*Bwyp*" coming from him.
Olivia took her hand out and whipped the drool off on her pants. "Kyle? Are you upset with me?"
Kyle shook his head and clicked his jaw slightly "No, what made you do that anyway?"
"You being f*BEEP*in' annoying made her do that," Chilla said crossly. "I wonder if different languages get censored, too..?"
"We're F*BEEP*ed." Max said She just had to get in one *beep* among the group "Ok guys, we're humans in a cartoon world. We're not supposed to have this kind of ability." She pulled an anvil from behind her back and tossed it into the grass with an 'Oof' "Something tells me that if we use it we'll turn into cartoons faster. I say we limit out 'Gags' to emergencies and near death experiences."
"Til then...we do...what now?" Olivia tilted her head.
"Super crazy cartoon sex?" Charles offered with a smirk.
"Uhh....and you don't think there will be a black bar or a leaf in front of genitalia?" Olivia raised a brow.
"I wonder if we're in an old enough cartoon to have outrageously racist characters?" Chilla wondered.
"Hmmmmm....just because there's a leaf or black bar, doesn't mean the stuff's not there." Charles reasoned.
"Right... so this road" Kyle said, slapping everyone round the face with his simple one track mind "Are we going over it? Because if we are I need to carry Max."
"Why exactly would you have to carry her?" Chilla asked curiously, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.
"Cause of us five; who's most likely to be squished under a flying farmhouse on the yellow brick road?" Kyle saighed.
"F*BEEP* you!" Max cursed. "I'm not a witch! Why do people keep assuming I practice the occult?... Ok yeah that one time but Liv was being attacked. We had to exercise it! I study that stuff because it's interesting and I want to be be knowledgeable for work! And if a Zombie witch doctor pops onto our door step I need to know where to hide the salt!"
Kyle rolled his eyes "Look, this is a cartoon place. I'm following what it seems right. Just let me carry you to be careful."
Olivia thought for a moment. She put a hand behind her back and pulled out a pair of jet fueled roller blades. With ease, she slipped them on
"Liv no!" Max told her "You'll turn into a cartoon quicker!" She turned to Kyle "And if anyone is carrying me it will be Charles." She suddenly realized how that sounded "... Because you fell, you had to have stitches and pain medication. Charles is more lucid. You'll drop me."
"Aww..." Olivia grumbled, taking the shoes off and tossing them over her head. They hit the ground, causing a mini mushroom cloud to poof. It was gone before anyone really knew it started.
"Are we going or what?" Max asked "If this is a cartoon and a house falls on me I should be fine so long as I have a small flag that said 'Ouch'."
"Don't forget the little umbrella." Charles reminded her. That was the real secret to Willy Coyote's survival all these years after all. When something fell on him, up popped the little umbrella.
Kyle sighed and shrugged, he'd tried to be helpful but they didn't want it. He began to walk along the road... a few steps in he noticed he was skipping. "NO!" he yelled at his own legs "WALK!" You could see the strain on his face as he forced himself to walk normally.
"Awe Hell." Max said and began to follow Kyle. Soon she too was skipping. "S*BEEP*"
Chilla had to laugh. This entire situation was just so silly! She mused for a moment, then proceeded down the road dancing like Snoopy and giggling happily. "This isn't so bad!"
Olivia clasped her hands behind her back and walked with her head down. She whispered a tune to herself. The sun bounced with her.
Charles decided it was best to simply walked on the grass, rather than risk the whole skipping scenario. He wasn't much for stereotypes anyway, being the nerdy guy after all.
Kyle had eyes on the sky at all times; what ever the others said he wanted to make sure that Max was well out the way if he saw a house in the sky.
Max saw that Charles wasn't having a "walking funny" issue. She tried to maneuver back to the grass but every time she tried stepping off the path she got angrier. Suddenly her skipping turned into an over dramatic sulk. Her steps where far too long and her back was bowed.
Charles yawned and stretched his arms out. He had the feeling that this was going to be an extremely long walk.
As the group crested the hill of paved yellow brick they saw a beach. A vast red ocean stretched as far as the eye could see. A small village was nestled off the edge of the beach. Ahead of the group, separating them from the shipping village was a vast and untamed jungle. There was no use in going around it.
Kyle breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the village in the distance "Finally. I don't have to fight the skipping." He was in such a rush that his legs began to whirr in a cloud of dust "MEEP- STOPPIT!" He slammed his feet into the ground and glared at them.
Charles raised an eyebrow at Kyle's feet. "For crying out loud, if we're all supposed to not act like cartoons, you guys might want to give it a shot you know?"
Max was relieved when she finally stopped walking like an over dramatic emo person. She popped her back with a groan. "Jungle? Awe hell."
Kyle sighed gently and began to walk slowly, his legs shaking with the urge to go normally. "Don't worry... I can make a sword appear out of thin air later... it probably won't affect me too much."
"You know, come to think of it, I wouldn't mind being stuck as a cartoon character," Chilla mentioned.
"Yeah as long as the cartoon doesn't turn out to be ridiculously retarded..." Charles said with an exasperated sigh.
"Which is why I don't want to be a cartoon; I'm stupid enough and I don't want to be helmet stupid so lets go." Kyle sighed, the forest getting closer with each downhill step.
Olivia was being oddly quiet during the walk, it seemed like there was something on her mind. Or perhaps, due to her staring off into nothingness, she was daydreaming.
Max looked down at the port village. She thought for a moment. "Well it's not really using a gag if it's just walking right?" She was talking to herself. She looked directly up at the sky and took a long step off the clifside. To her fortune she felt as if she'd stepped off onto hard ground. She didn't dare look down but took another step. She was standing on thin air. "Is it working?" she asked.
"These are cartoons Max; you just know that if you try that you'll end up plummeting half way into the jungle and we'll have to go on some wackey adventure to save you." Kyle sighed.
Olivia was daydreaming so much that she was essentially, walking on an actual cloud now, hovering a little above the group.
"The basic rules of cartoons still apply." Max explained still looking up. "As long as you don;t realize your not on ground you won't fall. The moment you realize you aren't you'll fall. I have no idea where I am at the moment."
"Yeah just like flapping your arms will let you fly." Charles retorted with a smirk to Max. "I'm not about to walk off a cliff, cartoon world or not."
Olivia's eyes went back to the group, they were just about 10 feet below her. The cloud she was standing on vanished and she hovered in the air a little, frantic. "Eep!" she fell.
Kyle had been keeping a wary eye on the floating people in his group; one was due to fall and it looked like it was Olivia first. He dove forward, planning to catch her in mid-air to reduce any damage done.
Just as in movies, Olivia's shadow got bigger in his arms, but Olivia fell to the side of it, hitting the ground hard. Her body was impacted into itself before she popped back to normal. She sat there wide eyed.
Kyle slammed into the shadow and could only watch as Olivia impacted into the ground. "You alright?" he mumbled past a mouth full of dust.
"Umm...I think so. Nothings broken." Olivia looked down at herself and felt her legs.
"Well you guys can trek threw the jungle if you want." Max said "But I'm going to go this way. I'll meet you at the edge of the town." Still looking at the sky Max began walking off into nothing. She stepped downward as if she where on stairs and felt leaves under her feet. Her plan seemed to be working.
"Go you" Kyle huffed, getting to his feet and going to Olivia to check her over for any cuts or scrapes. He didn't like the idea of flying. I mean; if they were going to do that why not grow wings or turn into a rocket?
Olivia was flattered that Kyle cared. She looked over at Max in the air, and the cliff in front of the group. "Well I wonder how else we can get over there." Her brow raised, "I know how you men can get over there....."
Charles had an idea on how they could get over there. He rubbed his chin in thought, looking around at all the trees. "We could build a bridge..."
Olivia leaned to one side, "Or I could kiss you and you could rocket yourself over there." she winked.
"Hmmmm... I wonder if anything worse than a kiss would get blocked by a massive censor bar" Kyle mumbled, thinking out loud.
"Well since we cannot cuss, I assume so." Olivia moved some blond hair from her face.
Max, was alf way to the village by now. She turned around and looked at the others, being sure not to look down "Are you guys coming or do I have to figure this whole thing out by my self?" She didn't think they where going to follow her the same way she was going but at least getting started would be nice.
Olivia looked to Max, then to Chilla, who was a good mile behind. "BEEP it..." she closed her eyes tightly and ran at the cliff.
Charles pulled an axe from behind his back and took to chopping down about 20 trees, instantly milling them into planks and the like in a giant cloud of dust. He zoomed over to the cliff and in a flash, he'd bolted across the expanse while building a massive bridge they could all use. When he was done it looked just like the Golden Gate Bridge, despite the fact all he had worked with was wood.
"Much easier" Kyle said, starting to jog across the bridge. By this rate he was going to be the only person NOT a cartoon... and he had a bad feeling about that.
Max Continued, She walked less carefully after she was confident she wasn't going to fall. She could see Charles on his make shift bridge out of the corner of her eye
Charles stopped at the other side, grabbing hold of the railing and taking in long and deep breaths. It was exhausting to work like that...
Olivia placed a hand on Charles's shoulder, "Are you alright?"
Charles nodded and placed his hand on top of her. "Yeah I'm fine...just takes alot outta you when you work that fast..."
Olivia stayed for a few moments and rested with Charles, "I never got to thank you for the movie, you know..."
Finally Max felt her feet hit solid ground. She looked down. She'd somehow made it to the bridge with the rest of them. "here." She pulled a can of spinach from her coat. It wasn't a gag but real spinach.
Charles smiled and kissed Liv's hand softly. "Don't mention it, babe." He looked at Max in disbelief. "So you just walk around with a can of spinach in your coat pocket? What the hell?"
Kyle made it to them as well, reaching into his own pocket and pulling out a bandanna. This wasn't the only thing however; several items fell to the floor including a real fish, two rolls of quarters and a doctors clamp. "Being out of your head on morphine was fun" he muttered, stuffing the fish back into the pocket after tying the bandanna around his head.
"Yeah, so?" Max asked and chucked the can of spinach at Charles's head before stomping off down the bridge. She seemed angered by something.
Charles ducked as the can of spinach was chucked at him. "What the heck?"
"Who knows....when isn't she rambling out orders and being cranky?" Olivia lifted her shoulders.
"I don't see anyone else coming up with a way out of this mess do you?" Max remarked "So fuck off." She stomped away, walking further down the bridge away from them. She was sick of Charles doting over Olivia and her breasts.
Olivia rolled her eyes, unimpressed. She figured if they walk into a mess of some sort, she would be to blame.
Kyle groaned and rubbed his eyes, this was going to take some working out. he hovered between Max and Olivia; he obviously wanted to stay here with Olivia but he didn't want Max walking off on her own.
Stumble!