PigeonedINK

^{On Changes}

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I'm not sure how the rest of you feel, but I am tired of filtering through page after page of people, women mostly, that make me feel utterly inferior. I place myself in a horrid side category and idolize these complete strangers as something along the lines of a practical demi-God due to their breath-taking beauty. Now, being the intellect and photographer, graphic designer and artist I am, I know that most of these women and girls barely through puberty have been genetically rebuilt through the uses of technology and the processes of "touch-up's." Yet, at the same time I cannot help but wish I were skinnier, less round-faced, less off balanced, better complected, or in a general sense, more attractive.

My name is Laura Blain and I am one of the co-founders of PigeonedINK. I am on my way to 22-years-of-living and I am quite attached to a man I have loved since I was fourteen. He thinks the world of me and wants to verbally smack me every time I feel this way. But, how can I not? These women/girls are perfect! Absolutely perfect! It's so difficult for me to love my body and feel confident about myself when all I see is that I am just the opposite of them. My hair is not dyed and it's well on its way to a color change (or five). My face is currently full of acne and my stomach is a solid pudge pile. I feel miserable, just looking in the mirror.

I'm sure by now you are wondering what the heck my point is or you have realized how much you empathize with me. My hope is for both. Sarah and I created this organization to breed change and to breed a new feeling. Though at times I cannot quite define what that feeling is, I want it to be something good and heart warming that makes others feel good and go tell someone else about this crazy-great feeling they are undeniably experiencing.

Before I go any further, I must explain my reasoning for being unable to define said feeling. That feeling should change from day to day. If one is feeling down-trodden about their weight, it should be an uplifting, "You are worth while, no matter what weight you are. Perhaps it would be healthy for you to lose some weight, but you do not have to to make something of yourself." If one is feeling like they have no one they can trust, it should be a, "Hey, I'm here to listen, not judge you, but listen. If you want advice, I will do my best to advise you the way an older, wiser woman would. But, if you just want to let it out, I'm here." The list goes on.

I mentioned Gandhi at the beginning of this note for a reason. If I no longer want to feel this way, I need to do something about it. It's a change that needs to be made within myself before the rest of the world will accept me for who I am. So, without further adue...

The entire point of this organization is to change the way you think, the way you feel, the way you live. The simple fact is, you cannot change someone else unless they are willing to change. However, you also never know how much of an impact you have on someone else. My feelings are these:
- Say how you feel about yourself.
I am starting a journal. (Perhaps, a blog.) I am going to state how I feel about myself, the good, the bad, the ugly. I will list the good things about myself. I will list the bad things about myself.
- Say what you want to change about yourself and why.
After my list is listed (your list will never be complete because we are ever-changing creatures), I will write out what I want to change about myself and the reason why. I will write the truth, not some made-up version to make people think better of me but the vain, complete truth.
- Chart actionary course.
If you want to change yourself, you need to figure out how. I will write myself out a little plan, maybe a "to do" list of the course of action I need to take in order to change.
- Be proactive.
If you want change, you have to make it happen. No one else can force this upon you.
- Find a buddy.
Though no one else can force this change upon you, it is important to have someone you are accountable to. Perhaps find a friend that desires the same changes as you and work out a system of reliability. Sarah and I both want to lose some weight (healthily); we have decided that we will meet up at least once a week and work out together. We have both been working out, separately, and working on eating better. We encourage each other and are uplifting and celebratory of the other's weight loss.

I am encouraging some different ideas here, and I'd like some feedback. I will be doing some boudoir photoshoots of some dear friends. Maybe you'd like to join? Remember, you do not have to be a stick to be beautiful!

I believe this to be the end of my rant. Feel free to comment. If you are going to journal your changes, or photograph them, let us know! Keep us updated on your progress as well! We'd love to hear your stories and write a feature post on you. Give us a shout out!

PigeonedINK signing out!


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