Dark Side of the Sun
:Chapter Three:

The dark was disorienting, but only for a moment. Where exactly was he? A white hand reached out into his field of vision – he realized it was his own, but everything felt surreal – and touched the soft paper of a door. Why was it so dark? Even so, he found it exceedingly easy to see the edge of the door, where it met the wall, and a tiny sliver of gray peeked through the black. Sliding the door aside only brought more confusion. He was in…Hijikata’s room? And he had woken in a closet…

…What?

Okita Souji stood and stretched his arms over his head, then puzzled over Hijikata’s sleeping form. Obviously the cause of the darkness was the night, but why had he slept all day? He couldn’t make any sense of it. Then suddenly…everything came back in a rush. He held his head and dropped to his knees at Hijikata’s side. The thump woke the Vice-Commander, who was immediately awake and alert. He sat up and leaned toward Souji. “What? What is it? What’s wrong, Souji?”

“Hi-Hijikata-san…I…I don’t know! What is this? What am I now? Saitou-san…”

“Souji, calm down. You don’t know what you are…?”

“I know what I am…but…” Souji shook his head, then took a deep breath. “What does this mean? Saitou-san saved me – no, you saved me by taking me to Saitou-san – so now…I am what he is and everything that entails.” The Captain paused, and the moonlight illuminated his grey eyes for a moment as they glanced around the room. “And I’m hungry.” He abruptly covered his nose and mouth. Hijikata was close and alive, and he could smell the life coursing through him, but he refused the urge to attack him. His jaw clenched, and he held his breath.

“I have to get out!” His voice sounded strangled, foreign, and he scrambled toward the door of Hijikata’s room. “Wait, Souji! No, don’t go!” he heard the Vice-Commander call behind him, but he didn’t stop until he had reached the far end of the compound. Everything around him smelled like a meal. There were so many living, breathing human bodies, all within his reach, but the thought nearly made him vomit. What was he thinking? To take the life of someone in the Shinsengumi…he would have to kill himself if he did that.

The muffled flutter of wings reminded Souji that there were chickens somewhere nearby. Their scent wasn’t quite as enticing as that of the humans, but he would feel no guilt in eating the same food that his fellows would eat in a different manner. He startled the chickens as he approached them, and they scattered in a noisy, haphazard fashion. One of them was unfortunate enough to flee in his general direction, and he snagged it by its neck. Before it could make too much commotion and draw the men from their sleep, he silenced the chicken with his jaws.

The skin made a popping sound as unnaturally sharp teeth penetrated it, and hot blood flowed out of the wound into Souji’s waiting mouth. He made a sound of satisfaction as the burning pain of his supernatural hunger was momentarily quenched. The feathers were unpleasant, though. He dropped the drained chicken on the ground, wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand, then licked his hand clean.

He stared at the white bird near his bare feet, and experienced a small pang of guilt. The chicken was his innocent victim, he had brutally slaughtered it. But it was the chicken’s lot in life to die for the purpose of consumption. It was bred for that purpose. Still, he couldn’t help but feel that the way he had ended its life was so much more barbaric and agonizing.

“Throw it over the wall, Souji. The men will get suspicious if they start finding mysteriously dead chickens.” Hijikata’s low voice was close behind him, but he had been so wrapped up in his momentary guilt that he hadn’t sensed his approach. He licked his lips and tasted a bit of drying blood that he had missed. It seemed impossible to turn and face the man that had saved his life, but had given him this fate in exchange.

“You should have let me die. I’m a monster.”

“I couldn’t just let you die…”

“But you don’t deny that I am a monster.”

“Souji, please, that’s not what I meant…” The resignation in Hijikata’s voice made Souji’s heart ache. He was causing the Vice-Commander pain with his self-pity. He turned toward Hijikata, but kept his eyes on the ground. He could feel deep brown eyes watching him, trying to understand what he was feeling, and what he might do next. In the silence between them, the wind rustled his hair, and he heard the individual strands scraping together. His senses were so heightened, he thought they might drive him mad. He would need Hijikata to get through this chaos.

“For safety’s sake, I think you should stay with me,” the older man whispered quietly. Souji’s head jerked up finally, and he analyzed Hijikata’s expression. He was being cautious, as if he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. The Souji that he had known for so many years was something entirely different now. The Captain sighed.

“If you think that’s best, Hijikata-san, I’ll agree to it. I’m vulnerable during the day now.”

“I can try to make the closet more comfortable for you.”

The humor in Hijikata’s voice broke the tension, and Souji allowed himself to laugh. It seemed so ridiculous that he was sleeping in a closet now, especially since he was really sleeping in a closet for safety’s sake. It just sounded so silly. But silly would keep him sane for a while, and he prayed that the discipline and self-control instilled by the Shinsengumi would be enough to keep him from doing something dangerous.

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Go to Dark Side of the Sun Ch. 4

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Dark Side of the Sun
Dark Side of the Sun Ch. 2
Dark Side of the Sun Ch. 5
Dark Side of the Sun Ch. 6