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2006-12-11 [de Morte]: My feelings could be summed up by the words from Michael Andrews and Gary Jules, which go. “I find it kind of funny, and I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I’m dieing are the best I ever had, I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, when people run in circles it’s a very very mad world.” – Michael Andrews & Gary Jules
you are repeating here...
Otherwise it's pretty good... And I know what you are going through/have been through...
2006-12-11 [de Morte]: Your wellcome...
2006-12-12 [X name]: Remember: You asked. I have only gotten to "Wetzel 3" so far, but here's to that point..
(Affected should be effected.)
(Other is used twice in one sentence.)
(Parents religion is possessive. Parent's, I believe.)
((I am, and always will be, a sinner." Note:Second comma)
("All of this.." Add 'of'.)
("Usually find a way to make me, anyways." Add comma)
("I'm not saying.." Usually in essays, they prefer you to say the full thing. Instead of 'I'm', use 'I am')
("..Or even saying it is bad for everyone." That should be the end of the sentence, I think, too many comma's.)
("..And am going to burn forever." isn't proper. consider "and will burn forever.")
("..Hurts seeing all these people.." should be "Hurts to see these people")
(".. Are going to be in pain or suffering the rest of eternity." Sounds odd, consider revision. No suggestion)
( Remember to indent each paragraph.)
("Don't", consider "Do not")
("I have close to death.." should be 'I have come close to death,' if you want to even keep it.)
(Elaborate on coming close to death, maybe. Sounds like somebody tried to kill you for these reasons, not suicide.)
("Layed" should be "Laid.")
("6" should be "Six" in MLA papers.)
(Garage should not be capitalized.)
("..Turning point in my life" should be the end of a sentence. "As I laid" should be your next sentence.")
("Self preservation" should not be capitalized.)
("..That day...my 16th birthday." should be "That day:My 16th birthday.")
("16th" should be "Sixteenth")
("..Opinions down me" should be either "..Opinions down on me" or "..Opinions on me.")
("..Talk is worthless.." This entire sentence is fragmented from the main idea of the paragraph.)
("Celler" is spelt "Cellar.")
("It was not long.." Entire sentence sounds strange. Consider word revision.)
("Sences" is spelt "Senses")
("Anymore" is used twice consecutively. Consider a different word.)
("Please hit me" should be "Please, hit me.")
(".. Awareness at a all point high" should be "..Awareness at an all-time high", or possibly consider entire sentence revision.)
2006-12-12 [dead~spirit]: Wow, thanks
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