Household Question's Answered

Q: What will happen if I use laundry detergent to wash my hands?
A: Probably nothing, but why risk it?

Q: What happened to those light bulbs that are supposed to last forever?
A: They're still being tested.

Q: I always get mixed up between eaves and gables and I am afraid of using the wrong word in otherwise informed conversation. What's the difference?
A: There isn't any - they're just French and English words for the same thing. They're called dormers in the U.S.A.

Q: How many throw cushions are too many for the average couch?
A: Fourty-seven.

Q: Has an adult ever gotten trapped inside an abandoned refrigerator or suffocated in a dry cleaning bag?
A: No.

Q: What the hell is grout?
A: Grout is a drink that Dutch sailors used to take along on transoceanic voyages to help ward off scurvy.

Q: What is the correct way to board up windows to protect against hurricane damage?
A: Use a hammer and nails and do it before the hurricane strikes.

Q: Any final judgment on Teflon yet?
A: Not yet.

Q: Why are those things on roofs called weathervanes? They don't tell you what the weather's going to be like, they just tell you which way the wind is blowing. Shouldn't they be called wind vanes?
A: Yes, they should.

Q: We just moved into a house with an intercom system that is broken. It made us realize that we've never seen one that worked properly. Has there ever been one that has worked properly?
A: Yes, but the people who owned it never used it anyway. They called one another by merely raising their voices a bit. It didn't kill them.

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