Petty Bothers That Will Drive You Crazy-Home

1. Empty ice trays. You believe in stockpiling and making sure that there always is enough of everything, but no one else does. From the looks of things, you'd think that refilling an ice tray required an advanced degree (except that people with advanced degrees are among the worst offenders). You eventually learn that if you don't want to have to skim tiny ice slivers off the top of sluggishly freezing cube slots, you'd better just go out and buy a ten-pound bag.

2. Just missing the telephone. This happens so often that it is unbelievable. You are outside with an armload of groceries or in the shower or otherwise indisposed when suddenly you realize that the phone os ringing. The critical mistake is that you always freeze for a moment to make sure that it's ringing or that it is your phone. Then you sprint, but it's too late. The one ring that you squandered is the one you needed. Every time.

3. Referring to last week's TV listings. There isn't much happening, so you turn to the television listings to see what's on. You correctly page through to Tuesday and are delighted to find a special on coed nude wrestlers from California high schools. You eagerly switch to the right channel only to find a panel discussion on recreational boating safety. You discover that you have mistakenly referred to the guide for last week, which no one had the wit to throw away. The twinge you feel takes about five minutes off your life.

4. Running out of toilet paper. You might not mind using paper towels or cocktail napkins or the pages of Boys' Life, but why should your guests have to? If grocery stores piled toilet paper rather than candy and sensational tabloids at the checkout, this problem never would arise.

5. Getting tuna fish in the mayonnaise. Far worse than getting jelly in the peanut butter. The spot of tuna begins to fester and spread a repulsive brown stain. Lunch is ruined. The whole day is ruined.

6. Misinterpreting a sweepstakes notice. "You are a winner!!" it says on the envelope, and, despite yourself, for a few seconds you believe it. You are a sucker.

7. No pens that work or pencils with points (and nothing to write on) when you have to take an important phone message. So, after rushing around the house opening and slamming drawers, you come back to the phone (convinced the caller thinks you're a jerk0 and scratch out the message with a key on the desk top or (if you are lucky) write it on the back of your electric bill with a stub of a pencil from a miniture golf course.

8. No towels in the bathroom. This always is discovered after you have showered or bathed, at about the same point when someone knocks at the front door.

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