3 1/2 Years
3 1/2 years, he'll be free
he's paid his debt to society
he'll move on, go on his way
I'll remember every fucking day
Every day till I die
I'll remember and I'll cry
He took what I'll never regain
My life can never be the same
The pain he caused will never end
In my dreams it happens again and again
He can never pay for what he did to me
I'm burdened forever with that memory
I can't escape from my own mind
In that memory I'm confined

    Happiness
the perfect apple at the top of the tree
too high to pick but so easy to see
Always just out of reach
so settle for a wormy peach
all your well built ladders break
so try to reach with a garden rake
but its anchored too well
for you it has never fell
so perfect and red it waves in your face
you try to grab but fall back in space

   
Hello
You see her everyday
her locker's just across the way
she sat behind you in chemistry
or maybe it was biology
every day she'd lend you a pen
you copied her notes again and again
She sat there every day
didn't have much to say
you didn't even learn her name
you didn't realize when the news came
You saw the head line, read a girl's name
it said she stepped in front of a train
but You didn't even know
till you saw her photo
Maybe you wish that you had cared
maybe then she'd still be there
Sitting behind you everyday
and you never took the time to say
hello.

Insomniac
It's 4 am and I can't sleep
This hole I'm in it seems so deep
Passing away the endless time
writing shitty poetry on line
Have to be at work at nine
really should go to bed sometime
but to sleep I can't succumb
I fear the nightmares sure to come
burning eyes stare at the computer screen
afraid of sleep, afraid to dream

So easy
Your lifes only just begun
but you hate everything and everyone
You can't understand
society's demand
don't know the rules of the games people play
penalized for this ingnorance day after day
this world was based on hate, founded on fear
my heart beats faster the end could be so near
One turn of the steering wheel and over the bridge
spent the rest of eternity down with the fish
It would be so easy just to die
A lot easier than it is to try


Every Fucking Day
hating every aspect of every fucking day
Why the fucking hell does it have to be this way
falling back
into the black
everything blurs and runs together
never see sunshine again never
blood runs down my arm
no please don't create alarm
no one really understands
whats its like to be who I am
The see the fucked up loser, the freak
who fucks up every day of every fuckin week
the don't know the half of what its like
living in the blackness day and night
They don't know my life and they don't know my pain
So why can't they shut up and find someone else to blame
I hate all the beautiful people and their wonderful lives
As I fight every fuckin day just to survive

   How much longer
The pain grows stronger everyday
how much longer till I blow myself away?
Whats the point in living anyway
just to die, rot and decay
I don't really give a shit
Rather just be through with it
No, theres no point in trying
just to end up broken and crying
in the end everyone will let you down
and in the the pit of sorrow you'll drown


   Pain Killer
A knife to my skin
pause then begin
the pain comes fast, how I wish it would last
For a moment I escape into nothingness. No feelings No thoughts.
nothing but warm blood and pain
beautiful pain that consumes me.
Why does it make her so mad, It's the only thing that makes me happy.
Why does she want to stop me.
It feels so good, so much better than anything else. If it hurts no one but me, how wrong can it be?
  
 
God's Abandoned
rejected
defected
alone but surrounded
happiness is impounded
fighting for a voice
having no choice
every night crying
whats wrong with dying
hating
berating
everyone gone
everything wrong
wanting to fly
but why try?
only to fall
get away from it all
alone every moment of every damn day
why does it fucking have to be this way
Blackness swallows up the light
no telling if its day or night
all the preps with all their cloths
and all their stupid aimless goals

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