"'Tis good to be sad and say nothing"
A Y L I, Act iv, Sc.1
 - William Shakespeare

Man Fall Asleep At Church...
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What sould I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In the church the following day, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbedhim in the leg wit h the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nidded off again. Again, the minister
noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he aske the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he icked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions the Mrs. Jones mistook as singnals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass.
"Amen," replied the congregation.
THE END!!!



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Chatty Guy
Got stuck with some old chatty guy
Who rambles on for years,
But such a fate is remedied
By tissue in the ears.
<b>
Goodbye To Amanda
I turned my face up to the skies
As clouds brought forth the rain,
Tears for Amanda filled my eyes
One day we'll meet again.
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End Of Airship
Airship troubles? Problems solved!
Such havoc when the Chief's involved,
Took down the ship without a sweat
You think Dark Lord is angry yet?
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Devius Falls
Rang bells and took a tower hike
Than took out squidface proper-like
So why's the Chief so dang depressed
We can't do better than our best.
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I Tried
I tried my best and failed again
I'm just like all the rest,
I will never save the world
Like you all surely guessed.
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Dark Lord Falls
Chief took out that Dark Lord fella
But hasn't felt the least bit swell-a,
I wonder if the guy meant well-a
He should have married Isabella.
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Devius' Death
Mr. Devius had a brother
To him humans were such a bother,
But on that fateful day he died
With Isabella by his side.
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New Adventurer
I know what your thinking now
"It's only bad at first."
Well I hate to break it to you pal:
From here it's only worse.
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Mother whose heart hung humble as a button
On the bright splendid shroud of your son -
Do not weep.
War is kind.
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The End
Ink, paper, a weary mind,
Sadness, grief, don?t look behind.
Tears, anger, broken hearts.
A target, aimed with piercing darts.
A tired look, no sentiments.
On paper, where it all vents.
The times I cried, taste darkness.
The times I smiled, smile happiness.
Why should I be locked inside?
What key will fit my barren hide?
What sun will shine upon my face?
And take me to another place?
What cloud will carry freezing rain?
Which knife will slash, bringing pain?
Which anger will bring my sanity down?
Which king will give me the thorny crown?
Questions with no satisfying reply.
Cliffs with gulls, screeching high.
Falling into the depth of sea.
Caught in the trap of apathy.
Dead, buried, in the grave.
To late now, to be saved.
Gone deep under, all is done.
I can't forever, continue to run.
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Untitled
The world is grey, the mountains old,
The forge's fire is ashen-cold;
No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:
The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;
The shadow lies upon his tomb,
In Moria, in Khazad-dum.
But still the sunken stars appear
In dark and windless Mirrormere;
There lies his crown in waters deep,
Till Durin wakes again from sleep.
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U.S. Civil War Quotes-


It is well that war is so terrible -- lest we should grow too fond of it.
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"General" I remarked, "How is it that you can keep so cool and appear so utterly insensible to danger in such a storm of shell and bullets as rained about you when your hand was hit?" He instantly became grave and reverential in his manner, and answered, in a low tone of great earnestness: "Captain, my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me." He added, after a pause, looking me full in the face: "That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave"
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"Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees."
- Stonewall Jackson's last words on May 10, 1863.
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"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble,
it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."

-- The Deseradata.


QUOTES OF FAMOUS GENERALSMissing: </b>Missing: </center>