The netpaper about Elftowners, by Elftowners, for Elftowners.
Lighting the Way
by [All_Most PUNK]
In the bank...
Rose Andrews: Excuse me sir, are you the last one in the line to pay?
Rocco Lord: Yes, dear, I’m the last one in line, the last one left, there’s nobody after me, when I’m gone nobody will keep the name going. At least for now, while we are still here... I mean, my number still hasn’t been chosen in the great lottery of Heaven, but my turn must be really close. Do you understand me, little one? My turn up there. I mean, to be called by God. What I’m trying to say is that the moment of my decease must be close, that soon I’ll die, perish, turn into a cold corpse, it’ll be time for me to start watching the grass grow from the downside, be six feet under, turn into a complete happy meal for the worms, that in not a long time I’ll be singing with the Angels in the celestial chorus, I’ll turn into manure, my metabolic processes will become of interest only for historians, I’ll have approximately the same amount of activity that a boring rock has. Soon, very soon.. One isn’t young anymore and the body doesn’t responds as it used to.
Rose Andrews: Yeah, ok... but this is the line to pay the electricity bill, right?
Rocco Lord: Yes, lady, here you can pay for the electricity, but… What’s the point of paying it when you are so close to never enjoying its uses anymore? Because the Lord will call me to it’s side any time now, there’s no doubt. Do you understand? I’m not sure if I’m being clear: at a certain age you start seeing the Grim Reaper as a very close friend that any time may drop for a sleepover, Death becomes an old acquaintance, you start hanging out with phantoms and ghosts, the deceased and the souls become an every day visit, all our friends are gone and the only thing left to do is follow them, the vital energy starts falling, you start getting ready for the great trip from the one there’s no way back and for which you don’t need a ticket. Soon, very soon.. One isn’t young anymore and the body doesn’t responds as it used to.
Rose Andrews: Uh, then would you let me go before you? Because it’s getting kinda late and I have to pick up my daughter at the kindergarten..
.
Rocco Lord: Ah, no, what do you think, you bad-mannered brat! This is too much! Youth these days respects nothing! I don’t know you at all and you come here and start telling me about your problems as if we were family or something! What do you think!? Just like that! God!
GOD: You called?
Rocco Lord: God?
GOD: No, no, not God, I’m GOD. Geoffrey Otis Divinity, at your service. GOD for my friends.
Rocco Lord: You came here looking for me?
GOD: Something like that. Well, not like that at all. Actually, I came here, to this bank, to pay the electricity bill, with my good friend God...
God: Hey ya! How’s it hanging?
GOD: ...when we couldn’t help but hearing that you were telling Mrs... Excuse me, your name is...?
Rose Andrews:
GOD: Ah, yes, Rose.
Rose Andrews: But I thought you knew everything.
God: Everything except your phone number, mommy!
GOD: Ok, ok, let’s have some self-control here, please, that we have business to treat with Mr. Lord here.
God: Me?
GOD: No, the other Mr. Lord.
God: You?
GOD: No, with Rocco. Let’s see… I have some good news and some bad news for you. Should I start with...?
Rocco Lord: The good ones. And about the others… it’s ok, I don’t want to make you lose your time, you can keep them. In any case, soon I’ll be surrounded by flower crowns, I’ll go all ashes to ashes, I’ll be an inanimate mass of bones and cold flesh, my soul will fly through the celestial abyss, not even the hottest women will be able to...
GOD: Yeah, yeah, ok, let’s cut the drama and the crap, please. The good news is that we don’t have your number...
God: But I have Rose’s number. Her phone number! Teeehee!
GOD: ...so you won’t die.
Rocco Lord: No? Never? Never ever? And the bad news?
GOD: Oh, yes. Well, as it happens, the problem is that you don’t exist. You are just a character in an article for an e-zine. A “humor” articles, apparently (not that it is funny at all, by the way. The author should present his excuses at the end of it, I think). If you look with some attention, you’ll see that you can see the name of the e-zine up there. It’s The Erlhald or something like that. God?
God: Yes, The Erlhald or something like that.
GOD: So, you see, you can’t die. The worst case scenario is that you’ll become a forgotten character. But you’ll appear again every time that the authors use your name. What was your name, again? Rocco? Uh, that isn’t good. If your name was more common, like... I don’t know... Robert, then there would be good chances that you would appear in every issue. Now, with a name like Rocco... Well, anyway, we’ll be seeing each other. Bu bye!
God: Hasta la vista, baby! Uh, I had been wanting for a chance to say that for all eternity.
Rose Andrews: Uh, they are gone. And in a puff of smoke. Like that dragon... Well, that’s great. For a second I thought they were going to try to get in front of us in the line, with that “we are almighty” excuse. Mister? Are you ok?
Rocco Lord: Yes, dear, I am... Do you want to go before me? I’m in no hurry.
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