Super Fun conversations Between Izzy And Mally

[++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]

Scene:[Phone conversation...]

Izzy: You know, i've got friends in every single 'clique' in school....*whispers* even the popular people.
Mallly: ooh really, who?
Izzy: *silence* uh... sometimes i forget her name.


scene:[Izzys sitting on a chair, so is mally, shes points to a candle]

mally: hey, is that candle black or blue? i cant see.
*long silence*

Izzy:....green
mally: oh.

scene:[mally examining her leg]
mally: *finds a bruise* OMG I have a lump in my leg. I think i have breast cancer.
Izzy: In your leg?


scene: [msn conversation , stupid skiving izzys been off school for like 2 days]
mally: OMG BITCH. where have you been, i missed you!
Izzy: meh. you just missed my boobs.
mally:: they're just SO warm

Scene: [izzy comes to school with the largest deformiest hickie on her neck possible. i swear, she looked like a leper. so anyways, everybody kept talking to her neck, not her face.]
mally: *not noticing the giant BLOODLOSS in her neck*. omg hey, guess what i saw this person she was like *catches a glimps*. OH MY FUCKING GOD.
izzy: *laughs*
[approached by some other schoolie person]

person: *constantly just staring at the neck*....hi?
izzy:: FUCK YOU.

Scene: [Phone conversation]

Izzy: 'it's like, we all... no... wait. I've totally forgotten what im talking about'
*pause*
Mally: HHHAHAHAHAHA!


scene:[izzy calls mally]

izzy: MALLY. its your stupid friend Izzy
mally: uuuugggg I'm a sleep
izzy:um. why?
mally: Its extreamly early in the morning
izzy: mally its 11:30
mally: *silence* its extreamly early in the morning



scene:[mally points at guy walking down to izzy]
mally: hey izzy, you know him over there? hes not hot, and i dont have a crush on him in the slightest, but i keep wanting to stare at him.
izzy: yeah hes cute, me too...lets stare



*Stares*


Scene:[Just asking ixxy something]

mally: where you going?
izzy: to ilkly moor
mally: whats that?
izzy: its a place
mally: and whats that?
izzy: *silence* did you just ask me what a place was?


scene:[I really have no idea...]


izzy: mally. are you a sperm whale?


Scene:[Izzy talking about stupoop]

<b>Izzy: I dont know why hes doing it
Me: why
Izzy: *Really flowy and fast* Why do i not know why hes doing it i dont know mally

scene:[later....]

<b>Me: dont go there girlfriend. *in really gay spacker voice* dont

scene:[On teh msn...]


Me: Hey izzy I might accidently, spontainiously um....
Izzy: ........
Me: hehehehe
Izzy: what were you saying?
Me: We never had this conversation *cheesy wink* ;);)
Izzy: Mally, your not by any chance planning on coming to my house tomorrow are you?
Me: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *BECOMES CONFUSED AND DISORIENTATED*
Izzy: your so entertaining

Mally: My brother is nnuynnunging ne
Izzy: Is your brother nnuynunging you mally?
...
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Scene::[At a church..........]

Me:*taps izzy. she looks depressed* Iz, you okay?
Izzy: shh. no sex in the church mally.

[Mally and Izzy's Robin Hoods Bay shit]

All the dumbass things Mally [choke_on_dreams] and I [Izzles] did and said while in the wonderful ROBIN HOODS BAY!!!
You at home can experience the mind numbing stupidity that is us... Together... I pity you.
Our stupidity is uncomparable.
Our hotness is uncomparable.
Our awesomeness is uncomparable.
Your suckyness is uncomparable.

Scene:[In the car]

Izzy: LOOK!! SNOW!! *bang* Ow...

~*~

Mally: I don't like softmints
Izzy: Why?
Mally: They're too... Minty.

~*~

*Izzy's mom and Izzy's mom's friend talking about a mutual friend*
Izzys mom: So how is she these days?
Izzys moms friend: Dead

Scene:[Mally and Iz lying in bed... Don't ask]

Mally: Hahaha! Isobel, you kissed me.
Izzy: Yurs.
*pause*
    You raped my hand
*pause*
Mally: Yurs.

~*~

*silence*
*kick*
Izzy: What?!
Mally: You're not talking!!
Izzy: Yes. I know.
*silence*
*kick*
Mally: Why aren't you talking?!?!!?

~*~

Izzy: You were saying something earlier, or something, and then I did something... Or something.
*silence*
Mally: What?

~*~

Mally: What does that say?
*Reads*
OOH haha. I thought it said scrotums...

*silence*

Izzy and Mally in unison: I dont like scrotums

~*~

Mally: i see dead breasts. they're all around me.

~*~

*Izzy lies on mally's legs*
mally: Aah, your obesity against my legs is almost....orgasmic
Izzy: *mortified*

~*~

Izzy: Death doesnt have a cock... It rotted away.

~*~

*Mally walks out of toilet*
Mally: I think i just lost my virginity to a tampon. It feels like i have 5 fingers up my ass.
Izzy: ...Up your ass?
Mally: ...You know what i mean

~*~

*mally and izzy talking about having sex in a rainforest*
Mally: We have to do that sometime *dreamy*
*silence*
Izzy: ...But not together.

~*~

Mally: Please?
Izzy: No.
Mally: Please
Izzy: No
Mally: Please
Izzy: No
Mally: Please
Izzy: NO!!!
Mally: Fine.
*silence*
*mally starts humming the song for about 5 minutes over and over again*
Izzy: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE *falls of bed*

~*~

*Izzy is talking about Stuart*
Izzy: Hes just so... Aaah... And he has such nice... Mmmmm and his... Aaahh....*makes strange noises*
*silence*
Mally: You know, moaning really isnt going to help me understand the situation.

~*~

*Izzy is reaching under the bed for some chocolate
Izzy: Chocolate!
*struggles*
ARGH!
*Falls head first off the bed*
Ahem
*silence*
FUCK!
THERE'S NO NO CHOCOLATE LEFT.
*pause*
Mally: I know, i just wanted to watch you fall :)

~*~

Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: You miss him, don't you?
Izzy: Yep. Bastard.

~*~

Izzy: Like, actually totally SO much.
Mally: Wow. That's all your favourite words. In the same sentence. That's SO wrong.

~*~

*Mally and Izzy talking about kissing*
Izzy: It'll come naturally when the come comes.
*pause*
Mally: ...When the come comes?
Izzy: Time. When the TIME comes.

~*~

*Izzy turns light off*
Izzy: Where's my monkey?
Mally: *hugs Izzy tighter*
*pause*
Izzy: No, Mally. You're not my monkey.
*pause*
Mally: I'm a monkey?

~*~

Mally: I'm thinking... But nothing's happening.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, you're so beautiful.
Mally: You deserve to be hit by a pillow
*pause*
*bang*

~*~

Mally: Can you imagine giving anal sex to George Bush?
Izzy: Quite frankly, Mally, I'd really rather not.
*pause*
Mally: In the white house.
*pause*
     Ew
*pause*
     It's no wonder they call it the white house.

~*~

Izzy: Fkooooooooorf!!!!!!
*pause*
Mally: ...What?

~*~

Izzy: *mumbles*
Mally: Did you just say bastard or fuck off?
Izzy:... I think I said 'spaz, actually....

~*~

Mally: You know what part of me hasn't been loved for a while? My ears.
Izzy: No.

~*~

Mally: Isobel, we need to have passionate sex.

~*~

*silence*
Mally: Your pupils are huge.
*pause*
     And you have green hair.
*pause*
     And you have big boobs.
*pause*
Izzy: Fkorf.

~*~

Izzy: *breaks bed*

~*~

Izzy: I have cold legs.
Mally: What?
Izzy: I have cold legs.
*pause*
Mally: I have a cold penis.

~*~

Mally: So james actually slapped you?
Izzy: Yurs.
Mally: Really hard?
Izzy: Yurs.
Mally: Why?
Izzy: 'Cos I jumped on him.
Mally: So what did you do then?
Izzy:... Jumped on him.

~*~

Mally: I feel as bloated as a helium balloon. Touch me.
Izzy: *blink blink*

~*~

Izzy: *writing stuff down*
Mally: You look perplexed
Izzy: *Blank stare*
Mally: Actually, no. Because that would involve using your brain.
Izzy: *blink*

~*~

Mally: Why did you just totally miss out a blank page?
Izzy: I actually have no idea.
*silence*
    Maybe I felt like it.

~*~

Mally: The best way to throw people off is to start the conversation again.
Izzy: Hey! I do that with myself!
Mally: *Stares*
*pause*
Izzy: Ok ignore that.

~*~

Izzy: *orgasms over perfume in a shopping centre*

~*~

*Mally is singing wonderwall*
   "And I don't believe that anybody's breasts are as big as mine..."
   "There are many things that I would like to do to you...."
   "Because maybeeeeeeee.... You're gonna be the one that fucks meeeeeeeeee... And after aaaaaaall... You're my wonderbaaaaaalls...."

~*~

Mally: Isobel, you're my thunderthighs.
Izzy: *looks up, mortified*
Mally: Oops.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, why are you so pushy?
Mally: I'm a pusher.
Izzy: Why?!
Mally: I'm a pusher, I push, it's what I do.

~*~

Izzy: *falls over* ...Ow. My insides. I think they're coming outside.
Mally: *observes carefully*
*pause*
     You know, you spend most of your life on the floor.

~*~

Izzy: That requires more concentration than... *loses interest*
Mally: ... Than you're capable of?

~*~

Izzy: Can I draw a chlamydia tattoo on your arm?
*silence*
Mally: What possessed you to think of that?! I think you need an exorcist.

~*~

Izzy: Malavika, my stomach is trying to communicate with you.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, your breasts are talking to me. Please, control them

~*~

*mally and Izzy are hugging*
*crack*
*pause*
Izzy: Mally, what the fuck was that?!
*pause*
    Was it your face?
Mally: No.
*pause*
     It was my neck.

~*~

Izzy: *bites mally's forehead*
*pause*
Mally: You just ate my forehead.

~*~

Izzy: I'm gonna go check out that light... If I get kidnapped by aliens, please tell me.

~*~

Mally: I love you more than chlamydia.
Izzy: *drops book*

~*~

Izzy: Where are you sleeping mally?
Mally: Oh, I'll probably move on to you in a minute.

~*~

Mally: I like your forehead.
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: It's radiating heat.
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: It is!
*silence*
     I think you must be sick.

~*~

Izzy: *spazzes out*
Mally: STOP or i'll pee on you!

~*~

Mally: Move your hand, I can't see.
Izzy: Can't see what?
Mally: ...The music.

~*~

Mally: I want to touch myself.

~*~

Mally: *shoves hand in Izzy's face*
     Do me.
*silence*
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: No, do my hand. No. Don't do my hand
Izzy: *stares*