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2011-06-24 [Priscilla Primkin]: Wow, quite the story! Time travel, monsters, magic! Love it! A comment or two on your English: you keep writing “laying” when it should be “lying”. The former is another verb altogether: I was lying on the rubble — as opposed to — I was laying a cloth for a picnic on the rubble. Also, think about your use of adjectives and consider that there may be too many of them for one object; eg. “I was standing in the middle of the hardly visible, overgrown, flagstone path that leads to the supposedly haunted, dis-used, rambling old church.” Just suggestions. Good work.
2011-06-24 [Marlene'Jacques]: thank you :)
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