Part of Kings Of Random

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Here can be found an epic poem to rival the likes of Homer. Anybody can contribute to it, if they adhere to the following rules
1. They must add their name to the 'poets' bit further down the page, followed by a 2-letter code to show who they are, which will be found at the end of each of their entries to show who wrote that bit. e.g. I would be entered as [afashdf afhhoahda fofbhaf obhat ohbqat] (LS)
2. Lines must consist of two smaller lines. e.g. "I looked skyward and saw a cloud , it made me feel happy and proud " would be one line.
3. Entries must be at least two lines long, and a verse consists of four lines.

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THE POETS
[afashdf afhhoahda fofbhaf obhat ohbqat] (LS}, [Carlito Caribbean Cool] (CC), [El Cid] (AS), [11one11] (LZ), [Rana] (RN)

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The Poem

I gazed upon her wondrous beauty, and realised I must do my duty
To embark upon a noble quest, for the Queen of the Amazon's golden breast
The journey will be full of danger, I'm sure that I will meet a stranger
But it will be worth the test, to give my love a golden breast. (LS)

I set off at once to find a crew, who would trek through ice and desert too
I enlisted many noble men, sixteen of which were not called Ben
Fourteen of these would not survive, and only twelve had learned to drive
I ended up with two and one, two men and a girl called Ron. (CC)

All four of us set out right then, except for Jim the monk of zen
Jim we had to leave behind, otherwise he might have died
We found ourselves a merry ship, and settled down for a good night's kip
But nought did anybody know, the ship would wreck! alas! Oh no! (LS)

the three of them were truely stranded, underneath their batterred standard,
they slept that night amongst the stars, and for breakfast they had kellogs bars,
after waking they did wonder, on what their ship had been cut asunder,
they saw the rock and they did gasp, he grabbed his clock, she grabbed his brass. (AS)

The couple tried to swim ashore, but could not reach so swam some more
But once they found the giant stone, she let out a soft and gentle moan
"At last" she cried "salvation waits, oh thank the lords, oh thank the fates"
"Except", he said, "excuse me ma'am, the rock is sinking, damn damn damn." (CC)

Now the water was rising fast, they drew a breath though not their last,
For as they sank into the sea, one saw a ship and cried out with glee,
"Oh good and merry sailors!" "What ho, why do you hail us,
For we be not sailors but evil men, sent to rape our cousin ben." (LZ)

"No Ben rides with us this day", their knees began to shake and sway
Both were truly terrified, Ron was so scared she nearly cried
The evil men took them aboard, robbed them of all they could afford
And threw them in the ship's prison, where none could see or hear or listen. (LS)

Help came at last, not renowned for being fast,
Jimmy Phwa-phwa and his flying cistern, took it on himself to open the prison.
The captives rushed up on the deck, but little did they suspect,
To find a rustic pleasure den, for the evil sailors had found cousin ben. (LZ)

"Cousin Ben!" they cried with glee, "we have found you, now where's the tea?"
"What tea?" said Ben, "what speaks of this, and why is this man wearing a dress?"
"It's comfortable and hides my nips", said the man eating fish and chips
But by this time of course, hurray, we had escaped, kaloo kalay. (LS)

We found ourselves on a big fat rock, that was curiously shaped like cock
And simultaneously the erotic, impulses flowed like pure narcotics
Soon began to bugger this stone, buggered and screwed and bonked and boned
Until we realised we were too rude, and stopped before we became too lewd. (CC)

I decided to get off the rock, to get some help for my broken cock
I wrapped it up with Ben's red sock, and swam off to find me a doc
Upon my way I met a flock, of geese - the leader was called Brock
He said "jeer, joke, prank and mock, we'd give you food but we're out of stock." (LS)

Then a young woman most sensibly dressed, in her exellent sunday best
Floated along from 'cross a wave, demanding that the ducks me save.
I applauded her then demanded detention, for the geese as they lacked attention,
And pudding and all that is good in the earth, including wallabys and mirth. (RN)

Wallabys? Ducks? 'Twas like the Ark, except for the single solitary shark
That swam on high, o'er hills and vales, and regaled us with tales
Of valour, honour, and similar things, of summer parties and winter flings
Soon we longed for the grass of home, where we had the liberty to roam. (LS)