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EVERYONE feel free to write your Lord of the Rings stories here.......the more random the better if you ask me!

Here is one written by Me [Tanzi Took] and [Gracie]

One day Frodo was hanging his balls out of the window in the rain.
Frodo: "Nernernernerner, nice and soapy"
At this point Gandalf walked past the window.
Gandalf: "Oh hey Frodo.....ARGH!? GAYGAY THAT MAYBE THE CRAPEST THING I'VE SEEN SINCE GIMLI DECIDED TO PERFORM AT HOME COLONIC IRRIGATION WITH MY GARDEN HOSE! And that was pretty damn messy! I've got to get out of this God forsaken Shire! I know, I will visit my maths teacher, he is both annoying and gay. Trust me Frodo, he will draw battle plans on his stupid ass bored and we will attack the Shire! HAHA!!!"
Frodo: " Hey Gandalf! Do you wana GET OFF HAHAHAAA!!!"
Gandalf: "Um...kay"
And this unfortunate incident would have taken place if Elrond hadn't come skipping along
Elrond: "LALALA I'M SINGING IN THE RAIN JUST- Oh hey...wow you looked as if you were about to get off!"
Gandalf: "........gay"
Frodo: "What the hell are you doing here Elrond?"
Elrond: "I was just on my way to see Gollum for plans of destruction of the Shi- uh, I mean, What a lovely day!
Frodo: "Elrond it's fucking raining! Why do you think I got my cock out the window?!"
Gandalf: "Uh, coz it was good!"
So Elrond Gandalf an Frodo set off to see Gollum
Frodo: "GUYS! WHERE ARE WE ACTUALLY GOING!"
Gandalf: "Didn't I tell you Frodo? We're...um...going to the annual hobbit...bathing...ceremony...thing"
Frodo: "............cool"
Elrond: "HORAY!..wow, I can't wait! Yay it's going to be so much fun...those hobbits can get kinda dirty"
Gandalf: "Ah ha Gollums house draws near!"
Elrond: "Oh god he's not coming too is he?...I mean...gay"
Gandalf: "Damn it you retard,we're not really going to bath hobbits it was a bloody cover!"
Frodo: "WHAT? WHY? WHERE ARE WE GOING?!"
Gandalf: "Uh,...Mount Doom, Frodo. You have been chosen to save the world, yeah, here take this uh...."
Gandalf searchs his pockets and pulls out the first thing he reaches for.
Gandalf: "Uh, nipple clamp"
Elrond: "HEY! So that's where it went! I wondered who took that on my secret gay gang ban-uh I mean secret council"
Gandalf: "Frodo there lies a dark power within this, nipple camp.....YOU MUST GO TO MOUNT DOOM FRODO AND THROW IT IN THE FIRE!"
Frodo: " Very well, I shall go. But I may not return....FAREWELL!"
Elrond: "Hahaha! What a stupid asshole!"
Gandalf: "That gets rid of Frodo..."
"How very clever of you." said a voice from inside a thicket. They discovered that the voice belonged to Gollum.
Gollum: "We finds you master,we knows master wants the Shire blowed up so we does it we does."
Gandalf: "Well done Gollum!"
Gollum: "But...but master must give us the precious in return!"
Elrond: "Um....we gave it to Frodo..."
Gollum: "Noooooooooooo!!! Where is it precious?!"
Elrond: "...He's taken it to mount Doom....he's going to destroy it! It was new as well. Until I shoved it up Gandalfs ass."
Gollum: "AAAAHHHH YOU DEFILED THE PRECIOUSEYS!"
Elrond smacked Gollum in the face.
Gollum: " AH! Cruel men hurts us!"
Gandalf: "PISS OFF GOLLUM YOU MOOKEY."
Gollum runs off
Gollum: "We must get the precious WE MUST GET IT BACK!"
Elrond: "AAHH!! WHAT ARE WE GUNA DO GANDALF WHAT ARE WE GUNA DO!! HE'S GUNA KILL FRODO AND GET THE NIPPLE CLAMP! MY NIPPLE CLAMP! WHAT SHALL WE DO!!"
Gandalf: " QUICK! SUCK MY BALLS!"
Gollum: " ...GAY!"
Elrond quickly got up from his knees.
Gandalf: "Dammit! Let us go then!"
They made their way threw the cornfields.
Elrond: "You know those corn-cobs..."
Gandalf hit Elrond in the balls with his staff.
Elrond: "Bring any cheese?"
Gandalf: "Didn't you feel that?"
Enlrond: "Feel what?"
Gandalf: ".....gay."


If your stories get too long, carry on, on
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Sunflower's Fellowship Song!