Fear
By: [Sharky87], [Leaf_girl],(Siri),[Aliz]
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Translated version
An annoying sound forced it's way through the thin, grey walls. The neighbours dogs had awakened. I knew it ment that the clock was 4. In the morning.
I pulled my pillow over my head, even if I knew it wouldn't help. Mrs. Olsen's hoarse voice came sneaking through the crack in the wall, together with the constant smell of cigarettes, a ritual which had been going on since her husband died of alcohol abuse. I could feel the vibrations from her steps towards the front door. It could've just the same been a bus. The penetrating dog barking finally disappeared down the stairs.
At this point I could've gone back to sleep, but I knew that it would only take about 5 minutes before Mrs. Olsen and her dogs came back. So I did like every other morning and got out of bed. The floor was like ice under my bare feet and I felt the cold crawl up my spine. I shivered as I put on my clothes and walked gently over to my kitchen corner.
The refridgirator was sadly empty, but not because I was broke. Last week I was at the grocery store to do my shopping, but it turned out there was a sale on cheese. Of course, that meant that the place was crowded with questionable old ladies and parents with small children.
It's not that I don't like people, but the penetrating looks from the annoying kids and the parents who blocked my way was just more than I could handle. I left the store with plans of coming back later, but I kinda haven't had the time yet.
A weak vibration told me that Mrs. Olsen was on her way up again. I went over to the front door and put on some out worn shoes. Carefully I peeked out of my door, when Mrs. Olsen's front door was locked. The stairway was awkwardly silent, so I dared to walk downstairs and out of the blockhouse. I planned to go to the closest kiosk to buy something eatable, but the clock on the town hall was only 4.30 am, so the kiosk hadn't opened yet.
A tram passed me, quite empty, I guess I could've had a trip. But I should save money, now when I'm unemployed and all. The bus is cheaper, but usually crowded, and that would mean that I had to be too close to strangers.
I started to walk down the street, since I didn't have anything better to do.
Last week I would've been at work on this time of the day, but the last days I haven't had anything to do, because of the fact that I chose to quit work. And I did not wish to get a new job, since I doubt I'd get a long with my new colleagues.
It started on friday, when I got into my small office, and found a huge, grey box with a matching screen on my desk. My boss told me it was a computer, which I was going to start to file on.
"What's wrong with the good, old filing cabinets?" I shouted somewhat upset, but my boss only laughed at me. I've never been closer to a computer than 3 metres, and that was in a store 5 years and 2 months ago. The thoughts of the electronic signals and touching those cold, squared, plastic buttons made me feel sick. I turned and ran away as quickly as I possibly could. Since then I haven't been there.
I pulled my thin jacket around me, as the wind was quite cold. But that was pretty much ok with me, since the cold weather made people stay inside.
My psychologist would probably told me to go back to work and meet my biggest fear face to face. I stopped seeing him too. That was mostly because I saw him getting into a small car with a nasty colour on thursday. No reasonable people goes into a car. How can take advices from a man like that?
Anyway, I don't even understand why I had to see a psychologist. It was my very conservative and catholic aunt who sent me there.
She refused to accept me as a member of the family, if I didn't go to church. It's not that I'm not Christian, because I often have long, interesting conversations with God.
No matter how long I'd gone to that psychologist, I wouldn't gone to church. Belief is something personal, and I do not want to share my God with all those people.
I noticed that the shops were starting to open, so I headed towards the kiosk. Suddenly I heard steps behind me and slowed down. Hopefully the person would pass me, but it got early clear that it wouldn't happen during this lifetime. SO I speeded up instead, hoping to walk away from the person.
I felt calmer as I saw the kiosk getting closer. Finally I could get away from the annoying stalker. Unfortunately, the stalker were also on his way to the kiosk. I hurried over to the hatch outside to order a hotdog.
Usually I hate places were they sell hotdogs, but when I order from outside, I avoid both the crowd and the horrible smell of burnt hotdogs with cheese and bacon. I saw the stalker walk into the kiosk, thank Heavens, then I got to be alone.
There wasn't anybody at the hatch, so my eyes wandered inside. The till ladies was standing in a corner; giggling. Typical, it had to be of that type. Young, know it alls with too much foundation.
I waited till one of them noticed me, which took exactly 22 minutes. Then I hurried to buy a hotdog and started on my way home. It took about 5 minutes to eat the hotdog, and the rest of the way I hummed low to myself.
When I came to the blockhouse I checked carefully that there was nobody in the stairway, before I went into my apartment as fast as possible. I laid down on my bed and listened to the neighbours do their daily occupations.
After a little while, the silence was interrupted by the loud, noisy sound of a doorbell. wait a moment, was that MY doorbell? I glared suspiciously at the door and raised slowly. When the doorbell rang again, I hit my foot against some furniture. Scared and confused, I opened the door and stared at a conservative dressed male. He HAD to be a member of a religious sect. "I'm a Christian, I don't want anything" I said firmly and closed the door.
The creepy man rang on the doorbell once more and I considered not to open, but I found that a little too rude. So, I forced my self over to the door and opened it again.
"Do you believe in God?" The mand asked as soon as he saw my face. I kept staring at him, insecure about what to answer. It felt wrong to answer a stranger on such a personal question.
The man continued talking about various religious subjects, specially the end of the world. I didn't even have to answer.
When the man left and I was alone in my apartment, I started thinking about some of the stuff he said. Again I laid down on my bed and the only thing I was able to focuse on this time, was the end of the world. What if it were tomorrow? Or next week? Or tonight? What was the point of living anylonger? I had no work, my family didn't want me and the rent on the apartment had just gotten more expensive. Next month I would probably live on the streets, lonely and abandoned. And maybe it would start snowing? I didn't have more to live for, nobody wanted me anyway.
As I was lying on my bed, I studied the ceiling and I noticed some of the pipes leading to the bathroom. I knew I had rope somewhere, so after checking that the stairway was empty, I hurried down to the cellar and found the rope.
In the apartment I placed my only chair under the pipes and climbed up on it. I tied one end of the rope to one of the pipes and the other end of the rope to my neck.
For some seconds I thought about the end of the world and jumped off the chair. I felt a slight pull, before my body hit the floor with a loud bump.
What I didn't know at this point, was that the neighbours chandelier was right under the place where I landed. And since the neighbour weren't a handyman, the chandelier didn't have a very good grip of the ceiling. So when the pipe broke, my fall made the chandelier fall down on the neighbour, who were sitting under the chandelier drinking coffee.
The water that came flowing out of the pipe filled my apartment floor very quickly, and gave me my present fear of water.
So that's the reason I'm here with you now...my new psychologist!
Stumble!