[Sagacious Turkey]'s Application for Elftown Crew

Why would I be interested in doing work without any sort of monetary profit?

Well, because Elftown is like a second home to me. I'm going to be on here anyway, so why not spend my time helping? And frankly, I think don't think you can really have too many workers. Especially if they're all working for free.



What have I done for Elftown so far?

Sadly, not much at all. I've reported a few people and entered a few contests, but that's about it. I donated to Elftown Graphics a long time ago if that counts for anything... Hopefully, I can use this application and maybe crew position to give back to Elftown. So far, I've pretty much been only been a parasite.



What are my qualifications?

Well, I've been an Elftowner since early 2004. Not as long as some people, I know, but hopefully the short decade I've been here is ample enough. I know all the rules and the ways around them. I'm capable of using and explaining all of Elftown's html and technical features. I've had a lot of personal experience with the rules and other crew members in the past, which I believe has given me a lot of experience here. If nothing else, I've at least learned the consequences of rule breaking. With that knowledge, I believe I am capable of instructing some of Elftown's more deviant members.

I'm also an experienced wiki crafter. I have made an innumerable amount of wikis. Some are useful, but the majority of them are pointless. The point is, I know what to do in wiki-related situations.

My knowledge of Elftown is great and quite vast. As far as I know, there's not much left for me to learn. My cognizance of Elftown's inner workings even delves into things a normal Elftowner isn't supposed to know. I learned these things through constant experimentation with Elftown. My tampering has at least lead to Elftown's security being greatly strengthened.

Also, I like to think I have a pretty solid grip on the English language. That's definitely a plus, right? (only if you ignore the sketchy grammar in this and all other paragraphs). I can also understand members who don't have quite such an excellent understanding as I.



Why should anybody trust me?

I like to think that even the worst criminals are capable of being reformed. I did spend a few years being banned, yeah, but still... Cut me some slack, man! Just because I was banned several times for just about every reason doesn't mean I can't be trusted. It just means I used to be (and still can be) a bit irritating. If I was really so awful, I never would have been allowed back. Luckily though, I'm still here. This paragraph doesn't really give reasons why you should trust me... in fact, it raises more serious implications than it settles. Actually, it's best you completely disregard this entire paragraph.



What kind of job am I seeking here?

Any kind, really. I mean, of course I wouldn't turn down a nice guard or council member position, but that's not likely to happen. I'm sure if those are ever to become attainable, I'm going to have to spend a long time proving myself first. Hopefully, I can be given a small job at least. Then I might could work my way up from there to something with a little more responsibility.



In case there are still things left unanswered in the above section, I will now respond directly to the listed requirements:

1) You need a good general knowledge of Elftown. If you can't handle everything about forums, polls, wiki-pages and know the Elftown rules, then it's no use applying yet.

     I do have a good knowledge. This point has previously been addressed.

2) You need to be able to read and write English well.

     wot u say?

3) Your goals with Elftown should agree with Elftown's. If you want to go berserk on everyone who looks ugly, then don't apply!

     My intent is to help better Elftown. My goal is to see Elftown prosper.

4) You should have proven yourself. As written above, you don't need any permission to do most stuff here on Elftown. Even if you only have created the big boobs dragons competition, are running the forum "Medieval fencing" that no one uses and have written a pretty bad report, it's better than someone who just says they can do all this, but never did.

     I may not have made such exquisite wikis as Hedda's big boobs dragons competition, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried.

5) You should explain what you will do as a member of the crew and for how long. Note: We don't want newbies that get all excited by Elftown for a month and then will get tired of it. Therefore, people who have been for a long time are generally better.

     I will do what is asked of me, even if it's trivial grunt work. I will work for as long as I'm still alive or at least until Elftown crashes.

6) You should be able to get along with the sullen assholes in the crew (see Council for a list), and have a great patience with people...

     You kiddin' me? I love those old jerks! Except you, [Calico Tiger]. I hate you. You perverted my mind when I first joined ET and ruined my life.

7) You should think this is fun!

     Sure! Why not...

8) If you can come up with an eighth point, it shows that you have ideas. Good! Now, be one of the people who will carry out the ideas well, and you're all set to join.

     Uh... *drools slightly*

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If you would, please inform me of any mistakes I may have made. If you have any suggestions to better this pitiful application, feel free to share them with me. I want to make this thing as decent as possible so that I may be seriously considered.