Salad Fingers!

Here is the pic of me, with black hair, as promised...



Cool, huh? Of course, the colour has already started to wash out... but hopefully sometime I can dye it permanently black.

Anyway, I'll bet you're wondering what's with the title of today's diary entry! Well, I'll tell you... Salad Fingers is the name of a fantastically awesome flash cartoon. It is post-apocalyptic, just like Decay, and it's main character is a ghoul (well, I am guessing so) just like Skirath! Except he's kind of... different... oh, but you'll just love him! Enough from me, make up your own mind! Watch all seven episodes of the wonderful Salad Fingers here:
http://www.fat-pie.com/flash.htm

Go, now!!

Black is the new light brown

So much news, so little time. Where to begin... aha, at the start.

Well, I broke up with Mr Nice Guy... almost a week ago. Poor guy was real upset... but I was super nice about it. I even gave back the stuff he gave me, and insisted he take it, and I gave him the present I had for him... so I've been extra good. It is a weight off my conscience. Then, afterwards to cheer myself up, me and [Nebsy] and [damn_deleted] went and saw Pirates 2! It was awesome... you gotta see it, it's got absolutely everything... not as good as the first one though (it tries very hard), but still great. Very much a "to be continued" thing though.

Since then only one really exciting thing has happened, but more on that later. Some non-exciting stuff that's happening is my artistic mania has continued... many pictures, the occasional poem. Nebs seems to be affected too... her page I'm An Artist is going through somewhat exponential expansion... it has more watchers than The Chaos Collection. Boy my page must suck. My "artism" has spilt over into actually contributing to ET graphics and entering contests. And with not-half-bad entries either. I mean, I ain't gonna win... but my pics aren't the worst.

I got my marks back for last semester at uni... 2 Distinctions and a credit... officially the worst marks I've ever got. Well, at least my marks must have had a lot of fun. Anyone would enjoy such a long slide! The black dog ate my homework, ha ha ha.

Now that you've endured the boring part, I must tell you the exciting news... I now have black hair! Based on a poll (<poll:70558>), I decided to colour my hair black... not permanent, of course (what if it were to look awful?). Nebsy did it, and it looks great... Well, I think so. Most people agree, except Pezza, of course... but that was to be expected. So far the funniest comment I've had was someone who my mum talked to warning her I may start biting the heads off chickens. Charming. Anyway I've took some crappy photos, but my face is the colour of the roses / that grew down the river all bloody and wild (that's red, dummy). And yes in every photo. So I'll wait til I've got makeup and a bit of non-face-reddenning light to take a photo in... hopefully tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow, it's my first day back at uni... yippee! My subjects are better this time... human and population genetics, families labour and intimacy and cognitive and social psych. Yay! Well, I'd better go... It's like, a quarter past one in the morning. So I guess it's today that's my first day back. How disheartening.

Oooh, oooh, and one other thing. If you have a chance to try it, go to McDonalds and get a Crunchie sundae. The are just... to die for! Mwa ha ha ha ha! *bites head off chicken*.

Apology for Pissed Off Angry Rant

To all those I offended with my rant, I'm sorry. While, yes, I was pissed off for what I believe is a good reason, and I'm not sorry for stating my opinion, perhaps I shouldn't have named names of people or pages, or bagged the council.

Sorry to those of Playgans - yes, your page is good! While I don't believe it to have the same artistic value as an art page, that's not really up to me. And perhaps "hate" wiki was not a great way to say it... maybe it is a page dedicated to "warranted dislike and re-education of those said dislike is directed towards"? Either way, while I myself am not into pages like that, I understand others are and a lot of work has gone into it. So sorry if I offended you, I was pissed off, I should have put it differently. Sorry!

And sorry to those of the council who I offended with the whole "shove it" thing... I was royally pissed off with a few, and not the majority. Heck, I don't know the majority. I'm sure most of the council are great people. Granted most of them have never visited my house until I pull something like this, but sorry if I offended you.

I have made a page with suggestions on how to improve the wiki-ratings here:
Suggestions for wiki-ratings

Peace, and once again, I'm sorry.

Pissed Off Angry Rant

Boy, am I ever pissed off right now. With all good intentions of getting a little more attention for my page, I suggested that my art wiki The Chaos Collection get rated by the wiki ratings... Now, I am the first to admit that my art isn't exactly top quality. I don't have a scanner or a graphics tablet, and I'm not as good as a lot of people on here. But I do like to think my skills with photoshop are higher than the average person, or at least not bad, and the sheer number of pictures in The Chaos Collection (over 70, mainly photo manips) ensures that there'll be something to most people's tastes in there somewhere. But apparently, and not naming names here, but [Sunrose] said it's not worth rating. And I thought, well, fair enough... it's not to her tastes, that's okay. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, and I'm glad just to have someone look at my page. Good on her for being honest. But my opinion changed when I had a look at the wikis that were on the list of "most artistic wiki pages", and found Playgans. Ahh, playgans. Simple concept: "real" pagans judge other people who are "fake" pagans. Basically an "anti" wiki, a "hate" wiki, yet another forum for people to call other people posers and be intolerant. And while it's not exactly my kinda wiki, it has a catchy name, some good banners and makes a pretty convincing argument if you can be bothered reading the text. But seriously, that it even registered in the "most artistic" list ?!! WTF?!?! It might be good, but the very notion that anyone would say it is more artistic than someones well-maintained frickin' ART page, whatever the quality the art therein may be, is ridiculous. [iippo] chimed in with "written art counts as well", and hell, I agree... but there is NO poetry or stories on "Playgans"... it might be well written and interesting text, but seriously MORE artistic than an ART page? Gaaah???

And so henceforth I say - the whole ET council can shove it, except for [Lerune] (who is cool and nice) and [Sunny Silverunicorn] (who I actually got to vote The Chaos Collection onto the "most artistic" list). But all the others? All I can say right now is no wonder ET is turning into MySpace, with these freakazoids in charge, it's hardly worth saving.

Alive and Well-Fed

Who'd a thunk it, the wisdom teeth operation on Friday went fine! The doctor actually gave us enough painkillers (thanks to the advice from [MisterScurvy] to ask for more, which we did!).The recovery went well... the first few days we were walking around like swollen-faced zombies, eating, sleeping and taking painkillers... but by Monday we had left the house to stock up on movies, and by Wednesday our mum took us for a wonderful drive through the countryside to the beach at Tooradin! It was great. We fed and then chased seagulls.

Other than that, [Nebsy] and I have been watching a lot of DVDs. We watched Big Momma's House 2 (2 stars), Wedding Crashers (2.5 stars), King Arthur (3 stars), Alien: Resurrection (4 stars) and Full Metal Jacket (3 stars). Also, we've been posting on Decay... at last, Skirath's met some fellow ghouls! A bunch of raiders are helping her and the rest of the party finish their quest... oh boy, I hope Skirath can get some action at last *rubs hands together in lustful glee*. And strangely enough lately, I've been in somewhat of an artistic mania... I've made so many pictures! All of them are safely stored on The Chaos Collection. No finished poems yet, but I've started one... oh, and it's going to be hilarious. Also I've made 2 really long bracelet/necklaces. They've got black, silver and gun metal beads in random order and look totally great. I used stretchy thread as well to try something different.

Something I absolutely have to mention about this whole wisdom teeth deal - The FOOD!!! It is amazing... much as no one likes to have a hurty mouth, it is almost worth it with the amount of deliciousness Nebs and I have been chowing down on lately. So much wonderful, wonderful custard! Normal custard, egg custard, bread and butter custard, pouring custard... oh, it's fantastic. And that's without mentioning the Yogo, fruit drink, lemon delicious, jellies and stewed fruit. And of course the golden syrup out of the jar, but no one needs to know about that.

And as for Mr Nice Guy? Well, I've made up my mind I'd better break up with him... much as he's a great person, he just isn't on my level, and I don't want to string him along and end up hurting him more later on... unfortunately it means I'll have to give back all the stuff he gave me, but like my parents explained repeatedly, I'm "not" a gold digger. Heh heh heh... naw, just kidding, I'm really not. I have more jewellery than I can wear anyway. I hope Mr Nice Guy will accept the present I got for him though... because otherwise I'm damned if I know what to do with a guy necklace, and plus, he deserves it for being so good to me. So think happy thoughts for Mr Nice Guy on Monday, that's when The Breakenuppening happens. Oh man, I hope I don't chicken out.

A Blog Entry At Last...

At last, I've finally got a chance to write my blog! Sorry for neglecting you, dear readers, but I've been busier than a whole hive full of bees, or Zerg for that matter. I won't bore you with the details, but in the last month I've had exams (I passed! I totally pwned the Genetics essay questions), a broken down computer, a lot more work hours (I just got my pay slip, so I'm not in such a bad mood about those extra hours as I was), and a new boyfriend! Also, I went to [damn_deleted]'s 23rd birthday party, and also my mum, dad and aunt took me and [Nebsy] out to The Cuckoo, a restaurant in the mountains to celebrate our birthday. As a result of being so busy, I have an inbox full of emails, and a whole lot of ET messages to reply to... I've almost finished replying to the ET messages, but the emails are constantly building up. So this is how I feel right now...



Well, I suppose you're wondering about the new boyfriend, eh? Well in a last-ditch attempt to stave off depression, I gave in and went back on online dating... it seemed to work too, because I found a very nice guy... I'm not sure how he wants me to refer to him in my blog, so I shall call him Mr Nice Guy. We've been together for a few weeks, and have seen a couple of movies: Cars and Over The Hedge (3 stars each). He is a great person, but not really on my wavelength... so I'm not sure how things will go. Also, he is one of those people who sends text messages... ugh, I hate text messages. I've told him plenty of times, and so from now on I'm just going to not reply to them. Also he sends romantic emails... they are lovely, but writing back is hard because I'm not good at writing romantically. Even now, as I look through Chaotic Love Poems I find most of my love poems aren't very romantic at all... I mean, just look at the titles: "Silver Bullets", "Statues", "Weapon of Mass Destruction", and that's just the latest three (by latest three, I mean from January this year, before I found out that people actually read my poems and stopped putting them up).

So yeah, today is my birthday, so happy birthday to me. I'm 19 now... 19 was one of my favourite androids on Dragonball Z. Tomorrow I get my wisdom teeth out in hospital, so I probably won't have much to blog about here for a while... I bought some beads so I can make more bracelets while I'm no fun and have a swollen face. And, for all of those people who are reading this, please, please, please, don't visit me. I don't want visitors, at all, even if I really like you. If you visit me, I'll get my mum to not let you into the house. And even if you do somehow get into the house, no matter how polite I seem, I will be thinking "go the hell away, I want to sleep/eat/do anything that doesn't involve making conversation". And don't send emails saying "get well soon". I KNOW you wish me well, and I really appreciate it, but I would be a lot happier if you don't contribute to email mountain. I'll hopefully be well enough to chat on MSN after a couple of days anyway, so I'll be able to catch up then.

Well, wish me luck... I may not be back on ET or MSN for a few days. [MisterScurvy] has helped a lot with his advice for the wisdom teeth operation, and the wonderful chocolates. *Tips hat to [MisterScurvy]*. So I'm really not scared at all. Nothing bad will happen, I'm completely not scared.

P.S. If I die, someone please publish my poetry.

You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!

Hehehe... yeah, there was a knife or 2 involved in today, but I'll get to that later. Right now, I want to rattle on about what an awesome day [Nebsy] and I had SHOPPING!!! Oh, it was soooo good to go shopping. I love shopping. Did I mention that shopping rocks? Oh, I did. Well, it does. Nebs and I tore up Eastland and I got 3 black jumpers (2 with way low necklines, and 2 with see-through spots... bit of overlap there, but they are awesome!!), a black t-shirt, and for all those who disapprove of the copious amounts of black, I also got a black singlet-top with GREY stripes! Yay! Nebs got some other stuff that I can't remember, but purchase of the day would have to go to Nebs's beautiful new beige trenchcoat. Ohhh, what a trenchcoat. It's gorgeous... and it'd want to be, it was a third of our shopping budget!! ($60). We also had great fun eating on our shopping expedition... surviving on lemon meringue pies, iced coffees and junior burgers.

Now, getting back to that knife I mentioned. Yes. Well, while we were in Big W (not that we EVER buy ANYTHING from Big W, it sucks beyond belief, I mean, I love cheap clothes, but the stuff in there is just Big Double Eww!) Anyway, while we were in there, this dude did a knife presentation, offering every adult who watched a free paring knife. Nebs and I had seen this before, this guy talks about a fantastic knife that never goes blunt, bla bla bla... so we watched his presentation. At the end, he handed out the paring knives to "everyone over 21"... heh. There I was, looking all creepy and gothy, and he hands me a knife, no questions asked. But when he gets to Nebs, he's all "you don't look 21", even though she had her glasses on which makes her look totally 21. And she blushes and goes "Aww... no," and has pretty much accepted her fate that she got busted, but the guy asks if she came with anyone over 21, and I go, "She's here with me," and he hands me another knife for Nebs!! Hehehehehe... fooled him good! But do I really look that old? Hell, I'm not even 19 yet... And I got mistaken for the 30-something lady at work again yesterday too... *sigh*...

Anyway, so a good day was had by all... tomorrow I'm off to uni to do more studying, but now, I must go and purchase some anti-ageing moisturiser lotion for my wrinkly, crinkly liver-spotted skin. XD

Guzam Holidays

Dear Diary, mood: fantasteriffic. Yeah, well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I have been feeling better lately. (So no plans to jump off the top floor of the Menzies building at uni sans stealth wings just yet). Uni's finished, I got my 2 assignments in on time (just) and now it's Guzam (exam) Holidays, or SWOTVAC or whatever you call it. I call it lounging around home pretending to study, that's what. On Thursday, [Nebsy] and I are goin' shoppin'... oh, at long, long last! We haven't had a proper "shopping day" since the summer holidays... that's MONTHS!! Ohhh, I'm gonna buy so many clothes. My black shoes have cracked up big time so I have to wear my boots instead... which is okay, because the boots are awesome. But still, I want new shoes. And black jumpers... I only have 1 and it's kinda greyish looking now.

Yesterday I spent the day at uni in a deserted computer lab learning how to use a statistics-related computer program. It was very peaceful there, with the gentle hum of computers, so peaceful I was sleepy and had to wake myself up with a serve of lemon coconut pudding at Wholefoods. I'll have to go back on Friday to finish learning the rest of the stuff with the statistics program. But that's okay, there's something nice about going to uni.

In other news, Decay: Glimmered Hope has finished... unfortunately Skirath didn't get any action, or any fights... although right now she's in a city that is being attacked by Demons, which is cool. Also, Nebsy's character Grips has just arrived at the city, so it looks like Skirath and Grips will get to meet. Nebs and I have no end of fun theorising on how they'll interact with each other. Most of our conversations end up at the same place, with Nebs telling me not to make Skirath give Grips the plague. Heh heh heh... it's great having a plague-infested ghoul for a character.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Hehe... you can tell I should be studying, can't you?
Oooh, by the way, here's a link to one of the funniest and grossest videos I've seen on the net so far. I was whining to Nebs about having to read so much stuff, and I told her my short attention span "needed some ebaumsworld" and so she got me this... I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/poopeater.html

Yoss Has A Whinge

What a weird day I had at work today... first one customer said something about recognising me, and that I looked eerily similar to a girl who committed suicide, or something like that... then another customer mistook me for one of the other meat shop employees... who happens to be in her mid or late 30s. Yay.

And now, I have one day to finish two assignments, and no Decay role playing fix to get me through it. And our internet router (affectionately named POS) is being a real POS tonight. AND somehow my fingers (note, not fingernails) are covered in nail polish and white out. *Sigh*

For those of you who still care what happens to Skirath the ghoul, no, she hasn't got any hot ghoul-on-ghoul action, or even any thrilling and exciting fights... She nearly had a run in with a spearman, but that went nowhere (heh... the only spearman I got up close and personal with lately was Spearman's Correlation Coefficient.) She has found out her family and entire town are dead and she saw her beloved Vadbol again, but he just ignored her (apparently he is nothin' but a killing machine these days). And now, something remotely cool has happened: she has met a dude with a bushy beard. Ned Kelly? Only time will tell.

Anyway, I'd better go to bed before I bore you to death, now I have got this whinge out of my system.

The New Craze Sweeping The Internet

Ohhh, dearest blog readers, I must eat my words in this blog entry. While I poked fun in a previous blog at Panic! At the Disco for being an emo band, I have become addicted to them... I've downloaded all the songs off their album, and [Nebsy] and I listen to "There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet" at least twice a day. It is just the most awesomest song. I say to you, go forth and download!!

Speaking of shameless publicity, I did a verrrry clever thing... I did a "publicity run" for I'm A Rapper (http://elwood.vic.edu.au/home/lie50/) on www.ebaumsworld.com. I posted on the flash animation forum, under the thread title "The new craze sweeping the internet" and the hit counter on the website jumped from somewhere in the 400s to 964, as it is now. Woohoo!! Needless to say, not everyone who viewed our wonderful animation posted on the forum about it, and of those 9 people who did post, here are their responses. Talk about constructive criticism:

"i didn't like it, rap is totally exhausted."
"was that like supposed to be making fun of gangsta rap? i was pretty dumb."
"That was freaking retarded."
"That was the most homosexual flash EVAR!"
"I swear I know that voice, What part of Aus you in?" - (Someone from Western Australia. :S)
"Her voice was so dull and flat."
"wow....how could anyone ever enjoy that piece of shit"
"closed it right after it told me to turn down my volume in fear of it being a screamer" - (It actually says to turn your volume up!)

Yeah... not too great... but hey, because of my cheap, crappy, false advertising style publicity run, I'm A Rapper got heaps more views! It went in through people's eyes and ears, and into their brains! Whether they liked it or not, they heard Nebsy's voice and saw my leet animation skillz. Ha! So there.

In other news, I'm feeling better... having pistol-whipped some of my homework to the curb always makes me feel a bit better. My Res Des and Anal assignment is almost finished, and I've actually started my youth studies essay, which I was panicking about, but it turns out no one else has even looked at theirs! Unfortunately I was silly and didn't read the unit guide, and forgot to put in page numbers into the quotes I've got, so I'mma have to go through all the books again. >( Damn!! What a drag. But still, I've kidnapped most of the books on the topic from the library, so if I fail, I drag everyone who chose this topic down with me.

Now for, what you, my dear and treasured blog reader, has been looking forward to the most! An update on how Skirath, my role play character is going. No romance happened between Vadbol and Skirath, Skirath got some more sex with her boyfriend Elroy, but then Vadbol took her back home to her town, where she got rejected because she's got the plague. So she and Vadbol returned to Otto, to find the whole place destroyed. Vadbol chucked a spazz and went the equivalent of Super Saiyan, then told Skirath he loved her, and nicked off. And so ended Decay: One Shot.
Now I've moved on to Decay: Glimmered Hope, which, between me and you, isn't half as good. No sex, no violence, and a salesman robot travelling companion for Skirath, named Bartlebe, who is not unlike Jar Jar Binks. And completely unscrewable. Damn! But ssshhhh, don't tell [lacklustre] I said that! I'm sure things will become more fun, I am just impatient.

Well, that's about it... Only a week and a day left until it's study holidays! I say, I do have a most agreeable guzam (exam) timetable... Res Des and Anal guzam on the 15th of June, and Genetics guzam on the 22nd. Only 2!! :D

Prince Charming Resurfaces

I have some pretty weird news for you, my loyal and appreciated blog readers. Tonight I got a call from none other than Prince Charming... yeah, my ex. He definitely had some problems... but it sounds like he's getting better. Apparently he just wanted to see how I was, which is really nice considering I've been wondering about how he was, but didn't want to call in case he got the idea that I wanted to be his girlfriend again. So now I got to hear that he's okay and talk to him, and I explained how I couldn't get back together with him. He was really mature about it, and my mum was super proud of me.

In other news, I've been feeling a lot better lately, since my last blog entry. Decay: One Shot is going mind-explodingly well... Skirath spent the night in a barn with her hick boyfriend Elroy, and then came home the next morning and got in trouble with Vadbol because she possibly gave Elroy the plague. So Vadbol locked the door and said Skirath couldn't go out, so she chucked a tanty and ran into the bathroom and cried for hours, then later that day, while Vadbol was away, she snuck out the window and went to see Elroy... turns out he didn't get infected because he got innoculated against the plague, so Skirath went home, argued with Vadbol some more, then threw up and got covered in spew. So right now Vadbol is bathing her. Yes, I know, how romantic. Only kind of... not. Although Decay could use another sex scene... you know, to make it a baker's dozen. Okay, kidding. After all, there has only been five so far. Man, Decay rocks.

As appropriate to both paragraphs of this diary entry, here's a pic I drew the other day. I uploaded it to ET, and it spent the last few days up on my house. The guards haven't even noticed!! I was going to keep it up there, but then I figured, naaaah, so I'll put it up here:



Yeah, they're characters from Decay. [Nebsy]'s character Grips is the one underneath.
While we're on the topic of pr0n, behold! My emoticon of Sofie from Kill Bill with no clothes on:
cK:D) 3 >----B
(she's got her hair in a bun, and no arms). Clever, huh? Maybe not as cute as the mouse emoticon I made:
<:3 )~~~
Awwwwww!!! Cute! Anyway, I have a post in Decay (and a stupid lab report) to write! Cheerio!

A Humour Sandwich

Oh Diary, like, I've been feeling so blue lately. First of all, like, my flick haircut is growing out, and I, like, seriously have to get the red and black dye redone, but I spent all my money on My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco CDs. Like, this totally blows, now all I can do is sit at home and write poetry about how my life is a black abyss of nothingness. Seriously, this is like, all the fault of those conformists.

... Yeah, well not quite. I hope you enjoyed the random emoness, I just thought I'd give you something to laugh about before I told you how my life is really going, and I'll end on a joke, so as to sandwich the real black abysmalness in between humour. You see, things ain't going so well right now... two days ago I found out I got the lousiest mark I have ever, ever got, ever on something that was worth 25% of my Youth Studies Sociology subject. So you don't die from a heart attack automatically when I tell you, I'll gangsta it up a bit. I got fiddy fo percent.
Yeah. Not great.
(That's 54%, in case you're not up with the lingo).
And I've been kinda depressed lately... probably the result of having no life beyond work, uni, and ET, unless you count catching the bus, but I know you don't count catching the bus. And I know I shouldn't have much to complain about, like a family and friends and food and a roof over my head... but I can only really compare myself to my closest point of reference... Nebs. And Nebs has it all... good marks at uni, she earns more money than me, she has a life and an ET presence. *Sigh* I know there's nothing you, my loyal blog readers, can do about it... reassuring messages won't help, so please don't waste both of our time. But I hope things get better, and soon.

For those of you who've been following the adventures of Skirath, my role play character, she and her 8 foot tall strong and violent type guardian angel Vadbol have now reached the safety of a town (not before getting attacked by zombies), and currently, Skirath is at a dance with a nice young country fellow named Elroy. Oooh, I wonder what Vadbol will think if she takes him home? >D

Well, thanks for putting up with my miserlyness... Here's the jokes, as promised. I found these 3 gems on someone's ET house, and I thought they were just hillarious (the extra L is for extra Laughs!) The last one is my favourite.

Little Johnny comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. Obviously his best friend little Benny wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tells his story: "I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom. I walked in and saw the bouncing up and down. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didn't tell the family. I asked for a new watch and here it is."
Benny decides he wants one too, so night after night he listens outside his parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually he hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door. He walks in and catches his parents in the act, so his dad offers him anything he wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Benny immediately says "I want a watch.". The dad sighs and says: "Alright but go and stand in the corner and don't make a noise."

One day, Little Johnny wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of string along behind him (thud, thud, thud). He goes up to the woman at the front and says "Please, Miss, I'd like a girl please." "Go home, sonny" replies the proprietor, not unkindly, "you're too young yet for this." Johnny reaches into his pocket and drags out a £50 note which he slaps on the desk and beams brightly. "Up the stairs, 3rd door on the right" comes the reply as the £50 vanishes. Johnny starts to climb the stairs, (thud, thud, thud) when he runs back again. "I forgot, this girl has got to have active herpes!" he cries.
"No way kid, all our girls are clean!" Johnny reaches into the other pocket and another £50 appears. "Ahh, last door on the left..." he is told. Johnny climbs the stairs, still dragging the dead frog on the string (thud thud thud), and some time later reappears. He waves to the woman at the front desk and is about to go out (with frog) when she calls him back. "I can understand curiosity at your age," she says, "but why the active herpes?"
"Well," says Johnny, "when I go home, the babysitter will be there. I'll screw her before she goes home and she'll get the herpes. Later on, dad'll take her home and have her in the back of the Mercedes, and he'll get the herpes. Later on, he'll get back and jump on mummy and she will get the herpes too. In the morning, daddy'll go to work, the milkman will come and get in bed with mummy and he'll get the herpes and HE'S THE BASTARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!"

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Ohhh so funny!!! XD

And One Day I'll Be President

I can already hear the sounds of complaints that I ain't been blogging as much as I used to... I guess that is 2 reasons, nothing has happened and nothing takes up a lot of time to happen, so I haven't had time to write.

So aside from uni, eating, sleeping, chatting and writing a lot of ET messages, there is only really one cool thing I can crap on about in my blog... and that's Decay, [lacklustre]'s role play. It is SOOOO much fun! [Nebsy] and I are OBSESSED with it, we talk about it all the time, draw pictures from it, joke about it, etc. Since my last blog entry, Skirath got got by one of the rapists, but then rescued by this awesome giant guy called Vadbol. She has been travelling around with Vadbol, and saw him wipe out this whole bunch of people (who had guns) with knives! Right now they're doing what they do best... no, not that! Get your mind out of the gutter! They're walking. Not as cool, but yeah.

Oooh, oooooh, other news! I gave a talk at uni for my sociology (Youth Studies) subject. I talked about young people's involvement in politics... I had prepared the talk the night before I did it, but I went soooo well! I just talked, and I cracked the class up twice (nothing is funnier than the Democrats... those losers...). The teacher said it was "brilliant", and that the class is lucky to have someone who is involved with politics there to give a talk. Pretty good! :D My mum said one day I'll be Prime Minister, but I told her no way, I'm definitely going to be President. Heh. I wish I could just be a housewife, but there you go.

Well, I'd better get back to RP'ing in Decay and writing that goshdarn genetics report.

Easter, Beach and Decay

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a while and perhaps those of you who have become Reading Chaos's Blog Dependent may be suffering... but anyway, sorry, I may as well get on with it and fill you in on all the stuff that's been going on.

Well, the most obvious thing that went on this week was Easter... including an awesome Good Friday meal with [Nebsy], Henick and 'D' (our parentals), our auntie Woo, and [MisterScurvy] and Pezzy. That was awesome... delicious home made hot cross buns, prawns, etc!

Then on Easter Sunday I got the day off doing homework and Henick and 'D' took me to the beach when they dropped Nebs off at Pez's place. We also visited my grampa, and had a wonderful lunch (for me of pancakes!) at a little beachside cafe/kiosk that Prince Charming had taken me to a while back. After that we walked along the Mordialloc (I think that's how you spell it) pier. I took a lot of photos... got a good "supermodel" one of me which is currently up on my house. I got a lot of shots of water, and a particularly nice series of photos documenting the flip-flopping death of a fish someone had caught.

Aside from that, I've been working my butt off doing the never-ending Res Des and Anal assignment, and procrastinating from starting my Genetics FlyLab project. It seems I have actually lost the info sheets for FlyLab... damn...

But, possibly as good as Easter and the Beach combined, was the wonderful time I've been having role playing in Decay and chatting to [lacklustre]. My character Skirath (Decay: Skirath had to run away from 2 crazed rapists, and ended up trapping them in a chasm. Now she is up against a slightly less exciting death by freezing out in the desert at night. Read about all the fun at Decay: One Shot. Also you'll love the whole Grips story, taking place above Skirath. >D

Decay, Decay, Decay

Well, the title kind of says it all. Yes, lately, [Nebsy] and I have gotten totally obsessed by [lacklustre]'s role play, Decay. It isn't started yet, but my character (Decay: Skirath) and Nebs's character (Decay: Grips) are complete. Also, we have drawn some of the characters... and most importantly, been bothered to digitally photograph the pictures and upload them on ET! (In exchange for [lacklustre] answering our Decay-related questions... most of which revolve around the dymamics of the character's relationships... mmmm, yes...)

Anyway, I have become sidetracked. What I meant to do was link you to Decay: 31 Flavors which is the page where our pictures are residing.

Well, in other news I've done 2 nasty horrible uni tests and got them out of the way... I'm guessing I got Bs or Cs for them... other than that the only stuff I have to do is my RDA (research design and analysis, or as I call it, res res and anal) assigment and think up a talk that I'll have to give for youth studies. And they don't have to be finished until after Easter!

I would rant about how crappy one of my bosses from work is... a real nightmare t-rex from hell... but I just can't be bothered going into the long and complex history of this horrible monster... So just frown for me. >(

You Know You Went To The Worst School In The World When...

Well, okay, I'll admit it, I'm not too keen on putting other people's song lyrics up on my ET house. In fact, I am quite heartily opposed to it... If they won't allow you to upload other people's art or even photos of celebrities, then why should you be allowed to display someone else's intellectual property? Especially if you don't at least write the name of the song and the band (a sure-fire one-way trip to misunderstandingsville in a poetry-filled community such as Elftown). And I'm not talking about a line or two of your favourite song... that's cool and understandable... I'm talking the full-blown lyrics.

Anyway, getting back to the point, it seems I am about to contradict my position on the matter of song lyrics on ET houses, as I feel everyone needs to know the lyrics to "Wake Up" by The Living End. You see, The Living End went to my high school (Wheeler's Hill, or as I called it, Wheeler's Hell, Secondary College). So, make your own mind up about what kind of a school would inspire such a song:

The Living End - Wake Up

I've been buried in the sand
I've come down with no place to land
I don't need you to understand
It's not what I had planned

All the hunger, all the yearning
With the lifeline that you're burning
Poison lessons that you're learning
The road ahead is turning

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation
Wake up to the manipulation
Wake up to the situation
Suicidal education

Stick together side by side
We no longer need to hide
From the darkness into the light
Now is your time

I need something to numb the pain
Forget me and forget my name
Waiting for the time to arrive
No one gets out of here alive

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation
Wake up to the manipulation
Wake up to the situation
Suicidal education

Wake Up! Wake Up!

I've been buried in the sand
I've come down with no place to land
I don't need you to understand
It's not what I had planned

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation
Wake up to the manipulation
Wake up to the situation

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation

Well, there you go. How about that. The-band-that-went-to-my-school's latest song has "suicidal education" as the first and last words in the chorus. Hmmm... "Poison lessons that you're learning", "No one gets out of here alive". Well, that definitely settles it... Wheeler's Hell really IS hell.

Aaaaanyway, in other news, our house is now officially mouse-infested. The mice, who were previously living in the compost bin, have some how made it into the house. They've been sighted in the cupboard under the sink, running into the computer room, and sitting on top of my statistics lecture notes. [Nebsy] put some hilarious speech bubbles into a photo I took of the mice while they were still in the compost bin. Such dear little pointy creatures... It's so hard to believe that they're filthy, disease-carrying vermin. Anyway, for your entertainment, here is the pic:



Cute, aren't they? ^__^ How can anyone stay mad at those??

In further news, I have reinstated the use of my ET mood for the random weird crap that enters my brain. It's been http://elwood.vic.edu.au/home/lie50/ (the address to the rap... check it out if you haven't already. Or even if you have already!) for like, ever, and I just couldn't bear not to have that extra space to write things like "relegated desponsibility", "I know I am but what are we?" and "MOUSETRAPS! Of course! >D".

Well, aside from that, this week isn't going to be very good... I have a stupid class test on Thursday for youth studies that I have to cram for, and a test next week for genetics. But after next week, HOLIDAYS!! Yaaay! Easter! Chocolate! And hours upon hours to chat to my wonderful [lacklustre]. <3<3<3!!!

[Nebsy] Is On Elftown!!

Yes, the oft-referred to "Nebs" has finally bitten the bullet, so to speak, and joined Elftown! After years of mocking ET as a community for the angsty depressed emos of the world (even though the word emo wasn't invented when I joined ET), she has been assimilated!! I guess that is the proof: You Just Can't Fight Elftown.
Nebsy has a poetry page: I'm A Poet
Also, she has started writing in her ET diary... not as a blog like mine, but damn, it's funny! You must read.

Today I had a genetics lab. I got to harvest 26, count 'em, 26 drosophila souls (chloroforming fruit flies). I tried to sneak a few home in my pencil case to show Nebs, but I ended up tipping them out again in case the other students thought I was weird, or the demonstrator came around to check that the number of my fruit flies was the same as what I'd written down. :( Aw well, hopefully next time!

Writer's Block Update

It seems I spoke too soon with tonight's entry (below this one). My writers' block seems to have lifted, and I just wrote a seven-stanza poem... I'm still not sure whether to put it on Chaotic Poetry or not, but it is a good sign that I wrote it! :D

Blog Entry

Yeah, I have been suffering a bit of writers' block... I guess the title of today's blog entry shows that. Like, I get halfway through an average poem and realise how crummy it is and then can't be bothered writing more. Or I try and write a sequel to one I've already done, but considering most of my old poems are either startlingly still relevant or complete and utter cringeworthy crap, it's not always easy. But hey, I'm sure once the words regroup in my brain Chaotic Poetry will fatten back up.

So, what have I been up to lately? Hmmm... just the usual, doing battle with the extra-loose plumber's crack work pants, breakfast radio, and the Insurmountable Genetics Reading. Chatting to [lacklustre] as much as I can, watching TV, etc. I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... ugh, what rubbish. If you are considering watching it, DON'T!! It totally sucks. Not funny, not sad, not particularly clever. The acting was okay though. Still, Jim Carrey makes a much better Ace Ventura.

If you want to see some photos I took at uni either this week or last week (I can't remember), they're at Monash University.

Sorry for the boring blog entry!

St. Patty's Day

Ahh, a blog entry, at long last. Well, since last time I wrote, things are going pretty good... Talking to the wonderful [lacklustre] (<3!!) a lot on MSN, forever trying to whittle down the giant block of homework and study I have... aside from those, I've been basically eating, sleeping, going to uni and working. Well, with the exception of St Patrick's Day, when Pez and [MisterScurvy] came over... we had Irish Stew for dinner, and drank Bailey's (and Nebs and I had Smirnoff and Pez had Guiness), and had a lot of laughs over the table. Also, we played tiggy in the street! Perhaps the saddest thing was I didn't get drunk... not even tipsy. Aw well, I guess it proves you don't need alcohol to have a good time. Boy, that sounds sappy. Anyway, yeah, what else happened this week... umm... well, a blind guy on the bus told me I looked beautiful. Heh. I don't know whether to be offended (yeah, typical, you have to be blind to think I'm beautiful) or complimented (wow, my personality and voice must be great!). But still, it is something interesting/poetic, I guess.

Also, visit my page of photos of uni! Monash University.

Oooh, oooh, almost forgot! Something cool Nebs and I (and Pez and [MisterScurvy], but mainly Nebs and I) have been doing is WATCHING AEON FLUX!! No, not the movie, as in, the cartoon series, with the 40-year-old bondage-gear-clad nymphomaniac anarchist and her wrinkly, idealist mad-scientist lover. We've seen all the episodes now (thankyou, broadband, thankyou so much!), including the short ones where Aeon dies in every episode, usually from her own bumbling incompetence! Man, the characters are awesome... To anyone who likes cool stuff, I command thee: Watch Aeon Flux The Cartoon Before You Watch The Movie Because No Movie Can Possibly Be As Weird And Cool As The Cartoon.

Yoss vs. Breakfast Radio

Now I know I'm not one to have a rant very often, but I guess I just couldn't hold this rant in any longer... Perhaps I should title it Rant Of The iPodless, but that sort of detracts from the seriousness of this issue facing today's commuters... So, without further ado, please enjoy:

"Breakfast" Programs On The Radio... WTF??!
Okay, so, what is the deal with what all half-decent FM music radio stations broadcast between 6am and 9am in the morning? Every single radio station, even the really good ones, the one for old music and the one for rock, all have two or three un-funny, boring people who spend three hours talking about inane crap! I mean, who decided that EVERYONE wants to hear TALK on their favourite MUSIC radio station FIRST FRICKIN' THING IN THE MORNING?? Who wants to hear three morons trying to talk over the top of each other about who they like best on Dancing With The Stars while they're stuck in the morning traffic jam? Sure, a little talk from a witty DJ or host or whatever is good now and then, but can we at least have as much music time as we have talk time? From when I get on the bus at 7:30am until I get off the bus at 8:45am, if I stuck to one radio station, I'd be lucky to hear 3 songs. Three! And THAT is supposed to promote loyalty to their station? Ha. The worst part about this whole thing is that the good music and less talk starts as soon as you get to work or school... hence, as soon as you get out of your car or turn off your walkman... and you can't even enjoy it! And this all goes without mentioning the subject matter of the chatter that assaults our ears every morning. Seriously, what if you don't watch Dancing With The Stars or Desperate Housewives? What if Big Brother is boring as all hell to you? Then you can't even start thinking about beginning to enjoy the ramblings of these radio morons. I wish I could force whoever invented Breakfast radio programs to sit and listen to all of them, all day, every day, until their brains explode from boredom and impatience.

Phew, it feels good to get that out of my system.

In other news, nothing much. Going to uni. Watching Silver Surfer (IT ROCKS!!!). Chatting to [lacklustre] and [MisterScurvy]. No word from Prince Craphead (aka Charming). Also I have a cold... I hope it's not that nasty case of Legionaire's disease that's been going around Monash, with the coughing and the dying and so forth. Then again I'm a drama queen, so it's probably just a normal cold. Aw well, any excuse to stay home from uni.