Anyone want to whip up a cute little post-it graphic for me to use and edit as needed? :P
If not, I guess I'll just take a photo of a blank one. Should work well enough.

What prompted this was the thought of making a virtual notice board either on a wiki or in my profile. Or maybe in my diary. Dunno.
First note: Get a doctor's appointment to obtain a referral for allergy testing. It's been who knows how many years since my last one. I want to know where my health is going.

Poetry, s'il vous plaît.

Am I some kind of monster, now?
Precariously balancing
eyes drawn where your humble backs bow
am I... some kind of monster? Now!
Please cease this mad, heartbreaking row
before I force without glancing
Am I some kind of monster now--
precariously balancing

---

For this macabre play
my front row seat
gives to a darkened stage
where actors have fled
and the grievous stares
of a million hollow-eyed spectators
crush me with their weight

So my weak hands tremble, fall
to call your smile an antidote
would be poetic, but nothing more
than a desperate lie
to save my blackening soul
They want my head and so it shall be
before the curtain falls

New contest in the works again. Take a look if you want → Vignette Illustration Contest

Not very good this time. Comments, anyone?


Burn a hole in the floor
with timid angry eyes
regular patterns of
breathing, in, out
nary a flinch as the book
loudly
snaps shut
asked about being so
hard of hearing
not sleeping tonight, it's known
sit under the showerhead
instead
freezing to the bone.

Lami's poëzie.
I'll take bets on how long it will take for me to be able to use that wiki.

Time goes by pretty darn fast. It's been a bit over two years since I last cut. Two years. Fancy that. And while I can't really recall when I last felt the need to do it, it must have been quite some time now.

Healing is awesome.

So. Story time, I suppose.

I was helping him move to his own apartment yesterday. His mother and another friend were around a lot as well, but during the times it was just the two of us it was awesome. Especially after everyone else left. I stayed behind for a couple of more hours. Poke wars for the win! xP

Anyway. All the time, I had a huge urge to hug him, kiss him, touch him... just do something. But I didn't, beyond our play-fighting. So then when I finally did leave, I stopped dead at the top of the staircase. Merely stood there for probably almost ten minutes. Debating with myself, gathering courage. Then I stepped back and rung the doorbell. Thrice, actually. I'm surprised I didn't just take off after the first time. He did open the door after the third ring.

"I forgot," I said, "I was supposed to give you something. Make what you want of it." Then I tiptoed, just a little bit, held his shoulders to keep him in place, and kissed him on the right cheek. Then bolted, not staying behind to see his reaction. I was shaking all over. Stood in the lobby, then outside just next to the door, waiting and hoping for him to follow. He didn't.

I started walking oh-so-slowly towards the road, keeping my eyes on his window. Then paced back and forth a bit, not being able to decide whether to stay in wait or go - even after he saw me in the window and I almost bolted again.

Apparently, it took him two times to see me down there to connect the dots, and then he did come out, at which point I started walking away. He reached me, and I turned, and my face must have been so full of fear. I was seriously terrified. The next part is a bit blurry, but he stroked my face, hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek - and then kissed me. Said "That's a better expression," when I smiled after that.

We talked about it for a bit, and I jokingly made a comment that I should get a medal for bravery. He actually agreed. Then, because it was -6 degrees, something needed to be done instead of just standing about. So he chose to walk me home. Even without gloves.

Such a lovely man. <3 Can't really believe he would have feelings for me, but seems like I got darn lucky. Meeting him today for a movie, which was something agreed on before I made my move. Hehe. I think I'm insane, but sometimes, that's only a good thing.

Also, for the record... I don't think I could have done this even a year before. Right now I'm so happy I've been able to grow so much during the past year, because... according to him, I had to do this. He couldn't. Even while I was so very obvious, he couldn't have made the first move.

Guh. And so, dears, Lami has ceased being single. But now I feel I might actually be capable of a relationship that won't be weighed down by my insecurities. It's a clear, sunny day, ladies and gentlemen, and I do believe I am in love.

HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES MEEEEEEE :D *dances* *grins stupidly* Aaahehehehehehe. Ofmg. He likes me <3

Slightly more coherent explanation to follow in the morning. Am going to bed now with the happiest smile known to man.

Head over heels, baby, that's the way to be. *bricked*
Even if I still can't be sure that he likes me back, it's making me disgustingly cheery just to talk with him. I got it baaaaad. :P

It's good to be happy...ish.

Note to self: Never walk in downtown on New Year's Eve. Never, ever again.

Yes, my 2008 began with nearly getting a panic attack. How was your night?

He is an inspiration.

I'm a fucking rock star, yo.

The truth
beating its way through
my trembling lips
in my heart's blood
is nothing to be called
unexpected
but neither is it easy
to stand here, in front of you
forming word after another
knowing so well
they could be, oh, ever
so gently
be handed back
breaking me in half.

I no longer care who sees this. I like the guy, and I'm afraid I'll not be able to keep the words inside me for much longer. Every day, the feeling grows. Nearly every night, as clichéd as that sounds, I see him in my dreams. Be it one way or the other, I need to know. I need to know.

I'm going to print 'Free Hugs' on a hoodie. :3

Some of the extended family coming in today. Yes, that includes my cousin and her kids. I'll be needing peace and quiet after this again. <_<

Snatched.

(1) Dated one of your best friends: Before or after they became one of my best friends?
(2) Loved/Liked: Even as we speak...
(3) Cried: You're talking to a bloody crybaby here.
(4) Drank alcohol: Yeah. I hate the taste of most beverages I've tasted.
(5) Done drugs: That would be a no.
(6) Broken the law: Only small violations like walking across the street when the light was red... :P
(7) Broken a bone: Nope.
(8) Cheated on a test: No, no, and no.
(9) Skinny dipped: A few times, aye.
(10) Played Truth or Dare: Yeah, although I can only remember one instance... with [Teufelsweib] and [sequeena_rae]... xD
(11) Ridden in a fire truck: Nope.
(12) Come close to dying: Only in dreams.
(13) burned yourself: In the kitchen, yah.
(14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: Yush!
(15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: If this has ever happened, it was when I was a kid. Either way, if I have... I'm glad I don't remember. That's gross. :P
(16) Stayed up till four on the phone: Can't say I've done that. I doubt talking on MSN counts as being on the phone.
(17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: No. o_O
(18) Fell asleep while eating: Uuuhh, no.
(19) Met someone famous: Not really.
(20) Been in a school play: Once, I think.
(21) Cried in public: Embarrassing like hell, I tell you.
(22) Seen someone die: No, fortunately. Unless we count bugs. <_<
(23) been in a fist fight: Nope.
(24) given someone a bruise: Probably.
(25) gotten a bruise: I'd be surprised if I hadn't.
(26) knocked someone out: No, I don't have that kind of strength. :P
(27) been knocked out: Noes.
(28) flipped any vehicles: Erm no.
(29) cut someone: If I have, it's been accidental. But I don't think so.
(30) been cut: Aye. I'm both clumsy and an ex-cutter.
(31) burnt any buildings down: No. o_O
(32) sex in public: Errrrm I doubt kissing counts here.
(33) mooned someone: I can't remember what this means. <_<
(34) acted kidnapped in a car: Not that I recall.
(35) flashed someone: Could be.
(36) kissed an ass: Metaphorically or literally? Well, either way I think the answer is no.
(37) blew something up: Only in my dreams.
(38) caught your yard on fire: Erm, no.
(39) threw a firecracker at someone: I'd never do that. o_O
(40) been in any wars: No, unless you can count snow wars.
(41) stayed up all night: A couple of times. Not for me, really. xP
(42) slept all day: Unfortunately this has happened, yeah.
(43) watched the sunrise: Yes. <3
(44) rode a motorcycle: Nope. I've thought about hitching a ride on one, though, if ever given the chance.
(45) driven a car: Only play-driven.
(46) wrecked a car: Nuh-uh.
(47) gotten a titty twister: Maybe.
(48) given a titty twister: Possibly.
(49) posed for a nude pic: Does a half-nude self portrait count?
(50) been suspended: Nope.
(51) been expelled: Nay.
(52) been arrested: Naaaay.
(53) been in jail: No, sir, I have not.
(54) have you ever had sex: Depends on what you mean by sex. I'm a virgin, though.