Please? Any feedback? Anyone?
edit: Fine, then. You all suck. Except for Lon.


Yeah, I'm just tired and grumpy. And hungry. I still love you. :P

Crappy crap crap? This almost-sonnet was supposed to be an entry to the Valentine Poetry Competition, but eh. Not so sure about it. Opinions, suggestions? Feel free to go so far as to propose improvements to the punctuation.


Eve of the Winter Ball

My soul alight with possibility
tonight our paths may meet, perhaps even join
yet I shan't have class - nor receive pity
so humbly, as decided with toss of coin

As winds whisper sweet nothings in my ears
this timid resolve grows inside my heart
to find solace with love's blind guidance; fears
so small beside memories of being apart
that the world matters not for this one night

Did anyone ever see your brilliant smile?
I willed it to return with all my might
yet you avoided this gaze every while

Call irony, or whatever you wish
I'm your chosen valentine - and you are mine

Stolered from [Vou].

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films in this list, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list.
() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total: 4
(x) The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 7
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 13
() Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
() Signs
(x) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 16
() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 17
() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 18
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 20
() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 23
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremacy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 26
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 29
() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
() Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 35
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 43
() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 43
(x) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 49
() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 50
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
() Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 53
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 57
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 61
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 66
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
TOTAL: 70

Hmm, apparentrly I still have a life. Oh well. :P

Wtf is up with WritersCo?
Oh well. *goes to work*
Will be busy today. Still have to write a whole darn lecture journal, to be returned tomorrow. >_<

Anyone want to whip up a cute little post-it graphic for me to use and edit as needed? :P
If not, I guess I'll just take a photo of a blank one. Should work well enough.

What prompted this was the thought of making a virtual notice board either on a wiki or in my profile. Or maybe in my diary. Dunno.
First note: Get a doctor's appointment to obtain a referral for allergy testing. It's been who knows how many years since my last one. I want to know where my health is going.

Poetry, s'il vous plaît.

Am I some kind of monster, now?
Precariously balancing
eyes drawn where your humble backs bow
am I... some kind of monster? Now!
Please cease this mad, heartbreaking row
before I force without glancing
Am I some kind of monster now--
precariously balancing

---

For this macabre play
my front row seat
gives to a darkened stage
where actors have fled
and the grievous stares
of a million hollow-eyed spectators
crush me with their weight

So my weak hands tremble, fall
to call your smile an antidote
would be poetic, but nothing more
than a desperate lie
to save my blackening soul
They want my head and so it shall be
before the curtain falls

New contest in the works again. Take a look if you want → Vignette Illustration Contest

Not very good this time. Comments, anyone?


Burn a hole in the floor
with timid angry eyes
regular patterns of
breathing, in, out
nary a flinch as the book
loudly
snaps shut
asked about being so
hard of hearing
not sleeping tonight, it's known
sit under the showerhead
instead
freezing to the bone.

Lami's poëzie.
I'll take bets on how long it will take for me to be able to use that wiki.

Time goes by pretty darn fast. It's been a bit over two years since I last cut. Two years. Fancy that. And while I can't really recall when I last felt the need to do it, it must have been quite some time now.

Healing is awesome.

So. Story time, I suppose.

I was helping him move to his own apartment yesterday. His mother and another friend were around a lot as well, but during the times it was just the two of us it was awesome. Especially after everyone else left. I stayed behind for a couple of more hours. Poke wars for the win! xP

Anyway. All the time, I had a huge urge to hug him, kiss him, touch him... just do something. But I didn't, beyond our play-fighting. So then when I finally did leave, I stopped dead at the top of the staircase. Merely stood there for probably almost ten minutes. Debating with myself, gathering courage. Then I stepped back and rung the doorbell. Thrice, actually. I'm surprised I didn't just take off after the first time. He did open the door after the third ring.

"I forgot," I said, "I was supposed to give you something. Make what you want of it." Then I tiptoed, just a little bit, held his shoulders to keep him in place, and kissed him on the right cheek. Then bolted, not staying behind to see his reaction. I was shaking all over. Stood in the lobby, then outside just next to the door, waiting and hoping for him to follow. He didn't.

I started walking oh-so-slowly towards the road, keeping my eyes on his window. Then paced back and forth a bit, not being able to decide whether to stay in wait or go - even after he saw me in the window and I almost bolted again.

Apparently, it took him two times to see me down there to connect the dots, and then he did come out, at which point I started walking away. He reached me, and I turned, and my face must have been so full of fear. I was seriously terrified. The next part is a bit blurry, but he stroked my face, hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek - and then kissed me. Said "That's a better expression," when I smiled after that.

We talked about it for a bit, and I jokingly made a comment that I should get a medal for bravery. He actually agreed. Then, because it was -6 degrees, something needed to be done instead of just standing about. So he chose to walk me home. Even without gloves.

Such a lovely man. <3 Can't really believe he would have feelings for me, but seems like I got darn lucky. Meeting him today for a movie, which was something agreed on before I made my move. Hehe. I think I'm insane, but sometimes, that's only a good thing.

Also, for the record... I don't think I could have done this even a year before. Right now I'm so happy I've been able to grow so much during the past year, because... according to him, I had to do this. He couldn't. Even while I was so very obvious, he couldn't have made the first move.

Guh. And so, dears, Lami has ceased being single. But now I feel I might actually be capable of a relationship that won't be weighed down by my insecurities. It's a clear, sunny day, ladies and gentlemen, and I do believe I am in love.

HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES MEEEEEEE :D *dances* *grins stupidly* Aaahehehehehehe. Ofmg. He likes me <3

Slightly more coherent explanation to follow in the morning. Am going to bed now with the happiest smile known to man.

Head over heels, baby, that's the way to be. *bricked*
Even if I still can't be sure that he likes me back, it's making me disgustingly cheery just to talk with him. I got it baaaaad. :P

It's good to be happy...ish.

Note to self: Never walk in downtown on New Year's Eve. Never, ever again.

Yes, my 2008 began with nearly getting a panic attack. How was your night?

He is an inspiration.

I'm a fucking rock star, yo.

The truth
beating its way through
my trembling lips
in my heart's blood
is nothing to be called
unexpected
but neither is it easy
to stand here, in front of you
forming word after another
knowing so well
they could be, oh, ever
so gently
be handed back
breaking me in half.

I no longer care who sees this. I like the guy, and I'm afraid I'll not be able to keep the words inside me for much longer. Every day, the feeling grows. Nearly every night, as clichéd as that sounds, I see him in my dreams. Be it one way or the other, I need to know. I need to know.