It always gets to me the most - the thought that I'm a disappointment to my family. To my dad, who is sometimes quite vocal about it. (As much as he is vocal about anything when angry - he just rants/yells for a moment and then sometimes takes off.) Probably because it is true. I am a disappointment
I don't think any one of them realises how worthless they can make me feel with just a few little words, and it never fails to make me want to do something very stupid. I know that compared to oh so many others, I don't have it bad at all. I guess I'm just weak. I'm so pathetic it's not even funny anymore.
I saw a dream about someone entering a poem of over 35 lines for the Valentine Poetry Competition. It was a really good one, I think was a sestina or somesuch, and made me want to extend the line limit. Alas, I do not recall it so I could write it down. :/
Ah, shit. Apathy struck and is quickly turning to gloom. These few remaining bad nights suck.
Flunked today's development studies exam spectacularly - couldn't even start answering any of the questions, that's what you get when you don't prepare - and bought a book to cheer myself up.
I really need to get a grip. If I can't do it for my own sake, then for everyone else's. I can't take another failure.
Why do people have to be such idiots? Hate, hate, mass amounts of HATE. Not a happy camper today, no sir.
Mmm, fresh self-baked bread. <3
I made Patrick upload a photo >:D Or, well. I uploaded it for him. Anyway. :P
I'm totally in love with this song, All the Same by Sick Puppies. Probably has significantly to do with the fact that it's in the original Free Hugs video. I think I'm going to learn it by heart soon...
In other news:
- Baking bread for Patrick and my family today. Wish me luck, I don't want it ending in a kitchen disaster.
- Really, really, really should stop procrastinatin
- That latest sonnet? I would like some feedback, even if only to make sure I'm not proud for nothing. An author is often blind to their own mistakes and all that. (When they're not being overly critical, of course.)
- Made another stylesheet. It's brown. It needs finetuning. But you can try it, it's _lami3.css
- Ie jesu domine... *thwack* Yea, that was it. :P Except for one thing.
ECM Fairy/Fae
Elftown Valentine Competitions
Pick a Prompt Contest
Another sonnet, this time for the ECM Fairy/Fae Poetry contest. Feedback appreciated, as always. I think this one's actually good. It better be, because I worked on it for almost two hours. *dies*
Dawn at the Fae Court
As morning dew so quietly gathered
upon the silky petals of flowers
on a meadow beside the riverbed
beneath trees so tall, as ancient towers
where faeries often held merry balls
young children trooped out, enjoying the sun
and soon stumbled into the fae queen's halls
While others broke, giggling, into a run
one tiptoed lightly round her bed of fern,
of softest moss; and timidly, shyly touched
For one brief moment, held in gaze so stern
as queen Titania woke and sat up
she stood quite still, nervously fidgeting
until she noticed: the queen was smiling
Elfy made me write happy with her requested words. Whut? o_O
Dawn
kisses gently awake
the little garden rose
before awed eyes of a child
newly given freedom to roam
She eagerly watches
leaves flying by in the
morning breeze
as if on faery wings
while stars, silently twinkling
bid a merry farewell
to return once again
Alas, a love poet I am not
when discussing matters of the heart
my wit will not dazzle, nor will it awe
the words are simple, mundane
any verse likely to make you yawn
yet, unheeding, I write of emotions
larger than life itself
trying to find the perfect lines.
I downloaded the Illustrated Guide to Free Hugs. If anyone wants it, I can send. :3
Please? Any feedback? Anyone?
edit: Fine, then. You all suck. Except for Lon.
Yeah, I'm just tired and grumpy. And hungry. I still love you. :P
Crappy crap crap? This almost-sonnet was supposed to be an entry to the Valentine Poetry Competition, but eh. Not so sure about it. Opinions, suggestions? Feel free to go so far as to propose improvements to the punctuation.
Eve of the Winter Ball
My soul alight with possibility
tonight our paths may meet, perhaps even join
yet I shan't have class - nor receive pity
so humbly, as decided with toss of coin
As winds whisper sweet nothings in my ears
this timid resolve grows inside my heart
to find solace with love's blind guidance; fears
so small beside memories of being apart
that the world matters not for this one night
Did anyone ever see your brilliant smile?
I willed it to return with all my might
yet you avoided this gaze every while
Call irony, or whatever you wish
I'm your chosen valentine - and you are mine
Stolered from [Vou].
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films in this list, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list.
() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total: 4
(x) The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 7
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 13
() Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
() Signs
(x) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 16
() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 17
() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 18
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 20
() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 23
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremacy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 26
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 29
() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
() Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 35
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 43
() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 43
(x) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 49
() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 50
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
() Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 53
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 57
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 61
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 66
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
TOTAL: 70
Hmm, apparentrly I still have a life. Oh well. :P
Wtf is up with WritersCo?
Oh well. *goes to work*
Will be busy today. Still have to write a whole darn lecture journal, to be returned tomorrow. >_<
Anyone want to whip up a cute little post-it graphic for me to use and edit as needed? :P
If not, I guess I'll just take a photo of a blank one. Should work well enough.
What prompted this was the thought of making a virtual notice board either on a wiki or in my profile. Or maybe in my diary. Dunno.
First note: Get a doctor's appointment to obtain a referral for allergy testing. It's been who knows how many years since my last one. I want to know where my health is going.
Poetry, s'il vous plaît.
Am I some kind of monster, now?
Precariously balancing
eyes drawn where your humble backs bow
am I... some kind of monster? Now!
Please cease this mad, heartbreaking row
before I force without glancing
Am I some kind of monster now--
precariously balancing
---
For this macabre play
my front row seat
gives to a darkened stage
where actors have fled
and the grievous stares
of a million hollow-eyed spectators
crush me with their weight
So my weak hands tremble, fall
to call your smile an antidote
would be poetic, but nothing more
than a desperate lie
to save my blackening soul
They want my head and so it shall be
before the curtain falls
New contest in the works again. Take a look if you want → Vignette Illustration Contest
Not very good this time. Comments, anyone?
Burn a hole in the floor
with timid angry eyes
regular patterns of
breathing, in, out
nary a flinch as the book
loudly
snaps shut
asked about being so
hard of hearing
not sleeping tonight, it's known
sit under the showerhead
instead
freezing to the bone.