I have read the prelude to Moonlight Lune, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, the only real criticisms I have are technical, and include the following:

1. Some of the sentences need to broken up a little more. There are too many run-on sentences, which could be easily fixed with a comma or period. I find that reading the piece out loud helps to define where the punctuation should go.

2. There are some spelling errors. If possible, I would use a spell-checker of some sort (there really aren't that many).

3. Proofreading the piece before saving would help a great deal. There are places within the piece where words are repeated. As before, reading it out loud will clear this up easily.

All in all, a very nice piece. I look forward to seeing more from this writer.

Review of the prelude to [Sunny Silverunicorn]'s Moonlight Lune

When The Clouds Drift Away, the prelude to a story [Sunny Silverunicorn] is writing with the help of [Resiska], is a fantasy-adventure scene set around two young elves, Eeond and Lune. It is well-set, with vivid imagery and great attention to detail. The characters seem well developed, and their interaction reveals enough back story to bring a reader in. Also, the use of foreshadowing, in the form of dream-visions and a mysterious figure, work well to make the reader anticipate the next installment.

All in all, a good read, and aside from some technical errors, a very good prelude to what promises to be a great story.