[MifArt]

Written by Elftowner [Miyanna], ‘Visions through the Flames' is a rather intriguing prologue to her story. The prologue is short, but not, by any means, too short. It's simple and to the point, saying exactly what needs to be said and keeping you wanting more, without indulging too much. From the first sentence, it reels you in, weaving you into the vision that molds her story, opening questions and wonders that leave you eager to read more. It's so short that it's almost like a trap for her story, which is the perfect technique for writers to get the readers' attention and get them interested in the rest of the plot. What is this vision, who is the girl, who is the boy, does he defeat his opponent? So many questions come from these three greatly molded paragraphs. This is a story to keep an eye on.

Critique: At first glance, I immediately wanted to say “write more," but once I read it, it's just grand. Any more would have been too much and would just spoil this great lure you have going on.
You tell us enough, without telling much at all, and leave much unexplained to grasp the reader's attention and wonder. This is a great technique for prologues, or a cliffhanger for a trilogy or chronicle, but if this is the way you plan to write out the rest of the story, it can get a bit confusing at times and may lose some interest in the readers. Be careful of that when writing. Though the style and the imagery is great, the only thing that really jumped out at me was your comparison when she spoke in elvish: “The ancient elven language rolled of her tongue like opals into sapphire dew.”
When writing comparisons, you're trying to write something that the reader can relate to, forming the perfect image and atmosphere in their head. I don't know about everyone, but, in my opinion, opals dropping into sapphire dew is not something so familiar. I'd suggest something more relevant to water or fluid currents. Though that wasn't necessarily wrong or bad, it's just something that not too many people can relate to, and, other than a bit of confusion in that sentence, the whole of it is fantastic.
[Mordigen]