me on the right

My name is Geoff........Fancy a Ride?????????





a b bc d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z is represented as; 1 - 26
then:
h-a-r-d-w-o-r-k
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
k-n-o-w-l-e-d-g-e
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
but,
a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
and,
b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
and look how far ass kissing will take u
a-s-s-k-i-s-s-i-n-g
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
so, 1 can conclude w/mathmatical certainty that while hardword and knowledge will get u close and attitude will get u there, it's the bullshit and ass kissing that will put u ova the top!!






Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers.
The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink.
The women says, "Sure, if you fuck me."
The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your fat smelly ass."
The second man wants to live and agree's to do the deed. The second man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside. The women says, "fuck me then!"
The man agrees to do it only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full of corn on the cob. He picks one up, fucks her with it and throws it out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.
The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water.
The friend replies, "Fuck the water, I want some more of that buttered corn."