My annual birth celebration is coming up, Big 21. I will indulge in the traditional festivities of drinking to ones swelled head, but many more ideas are in the works.I tire of this unfulfilling life, and I wish to begin expressing my art. My current dilemma, from the mudane working life, and a full calender of sociatal distractions, I am out of practice, and have little past work to pull from, due to the recent move, and the damage that caused to my stock of personal possesions. My heterosexual life partner, Thomas is a wonderfull readdition to my life. He has come home from a 1 year tour in the sandbox. He has added to my home a wonderful assortment of items from his served time, including a beautiful Indian hookah. I enjoy having him near me, and it's such a wonderful relief to know he's here in one piece, save for a small scratch. I think I'm done with love for a while, and I'm going to spend more time on my crafts. It's about time to. I could go on and on, but I'll stop here for now.

1) Dated one of your best friends: Yes
2) Loved/Liked: I'll keep that to myself
3) Cried: Not recently.
4) Drank alcohol: Me? NEVER! (sips at hip flask)
5) Done drugs: I plead the fifth...of Jack Daniels
6) Broken the law: A few times...
7) Broken a bone: My hand punching a brick wall. Friend accused me of being a woman beater...I was mad.
8) Cheated on a test: Don't need to
9) Skinny dipped: Maybe >=)
10) Played Truth or Dare: yeah...
11) Ridden in a fire truck: Yeah
12) Come close to dying: I've been beaten, crushed, stabbed, hung, fallen down stairs, as well as doing these things to myself, and I never came close
13) Burned yourself: Not on purpose...
14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: All the time.
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: Yep, quite the child-hood
16) Stayed up till four on the phone: Yes.
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: With or without a person inside?
18)Fell asleep while eating: No. I have to force sleep to come
19) Met someone famous: Al Snow, Danny Filth and a few others, but my mom dated Road Dog Jesse James while he was tag champ with the Billy Gun
20) Been in a school play: No, but stage handed them. I would of but didn't have room in my schedule for theater. I'm a good actor. My mom thought I was a virgin untill I was 17, but I lost it at 14.
21) Cried in public: Nope
22) Seen someone die: Yeah some
23) been in a fist fight: Try to avoid 'em
24) given someone a bruise: Hundreds
25) gotten a bruise: A few...
26) knocked somone out: Yes
27) been knocked out: Skulls too thick, the aluminum bat dented.
28) flipped any vehicles: No
29) cut someone: Umm...noooo?
30) been cut: thousands of times.
31) burnt any buildings down: all the way down?
32) sex in public: pleading the 5th of Jack, once again
33) mooned someone: Yeah, from a car.
34) acted kidnapped in a car: Acted? no.
35) flashed someone: Nope.
36) kissed an ass: once, butt not brown eye
37) blew something up: Yup ^_^
38) caught your yard on fire: Yeah!
39) threw a firecracker at someone: Yeah, they're illegal here. Still use them though.
40) been in any wars: Nope, I won't fight a war I don't believe in, and there hasn't been one of those since before I was born.
41) stayed up all night: Not that hard...
42) slept all day: Yes
43) watched the sunrise: Whenever I can.
44) rode a motorcycle: Yep
45) driven a car: Yes.
46) wrecked a car: Not my fault
47) gotten a titty twister: Yes.
48) given a titty twister: Took a nipple ring once.
49) posed for a nude pic: Not online
50) been suspended: Yup.
51) been expelled: Nope.
52) been arrested: Yeah.
53) been in jail: a li'l.
54) Played Spin the Bottle: Yes.
55) shot someone: In the leg.

Rules for men

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.o

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Yes there is a reason why they're all #ed 1

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

A free form poem I wrote in chemistry 3 yrs ago.

Within My Head

Hurry, I've not much time...the beast
within is awake and yearning to get out.
Each time I think or move, it climbs closer
to the surface. I can't stand it any more.
This beast inside brings my blood alight with
fire, and I can't bear the itch of the
flame within my veins much longer, I will
burst. When I sleep, I dream that the beast
takes over, and eats me. I can NOT let the
beast within be released to consume me, or
the people that care about me, though they
are few and far between. If I'm killed, the
beast escapes. If I kill myself, the beast escapes.
If I lose my mind, the beast escapes out into the world. Every time I close my eyes, I almost snap beneath the insanity. The eyes of the beast stare back at me from it's
prison inside my mind. Don't let the
beast escape. Don't let me transform into the the
devourer of worlds. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

The poem that won me 3rd place in a contest. (also written during high school on my own as a sophmore, and turned it in to a regional contest in 12th grade)

Worthless Pathetic Loser

Why can't I just die?
I fail at all I try.
I want to fade away,
but I guess I'm here to stay.

All the words you say to me,
they dig into my flesh.
You say I'm worthless, point out I failed,
then say I did my best.

You're right, I suck.

I want to take your words,
the very words you choked,
I'll hone them like a knife,
and drive them through my throat.

I want to briefly feel the pain
your words inflict on me,
then let the blood run red,
and fall away from me.