Well, Ima Texan and Ima Fatty and Ima Reallytiredoftalkinglikethis. Anyscootch, Mark's the name, bassooning's the game. A wiki-wiki-wiki, yo

And sign my frickin guestbook! It's sad. And empty. It needs guestbook Prozac.

And a ps:

If you're a Bassoonist or want to know what the holy river styx is a bassoon, go to the bassoonists' wiki: Bassoonists r sexy


Yo me gusta sacar fotos! Vea mas en: Mark likes to sacar fotos


Fat people of the world: UNITE! at Fat People Rock And no, that's not me... arse hole.

Anywho, the other day, at my casa, a bunch of peoples and mes played "If you know what I mean," if you know what I mean. So we came up with all of these band IYKWIM's:

Is that a piccolo in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

There are two types of people in band: The bangers and the blowers.

Those drums sure like to bang, if ya know what I mean.

You can oil my valves, if you know what I mean.

I like to finger, if you know what I mean.

If you have more things like that, let me know!

H is for the hoes you do
E is for every girl you see
R is for round the clock action
P is for (quiet!) penile dysfunction
E is for everywhere you get it on
S is for STD's, like HERPES!

Yay! Go herpes! Not really, but ok... And a big shout-out to all you hoe-doing, girl-seeing, action-getting, ED-having, getting-it-on(ing) people out there: remember, with Valtrex you can have more outbreak-free days!


Gotta love the Music of the Century!


Go to the Texas wiki!!! Texas Rocks My Socks


Ok, so if that was our band, who would it be? Hmmm.... I wonder....

Feet:        TOGETHER!
Knees:      BENT!
Stomach:  IN! (or sagging)
Chest:      OUT! (if its not already)
Chin:        UP!
Eyes:        WITH PRIDE!
Eyes:        WITH PRIDE!
Eyes:        WITH PRIDE!


That's right, yo!

From Band Geeks United:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BAND GEEK WHEN...

~You start marching in step no matter where you go.
~You brag about playing your instrument upside down.
~You wear your marching band shirt in public, even when not required to.
~You can't go out with friends because you have practice.
~You get stared at when you start fingering notes whenever a song in your show comes on the radio.
~You bought a movie soley to guess how to play the music in it.
~You search all over to find CDs with a song from your show on it.
~You hum songs from band class.
~When you hear another band perform, you usually think one of three things:
  a) we played that last year
  b) that's out of tune
  c) oh, dear god.
~You're accustomed to wearing your band coat in 100 degree weather.
~You actually look forward to band camp.
~For 2 weeks, every summer, the back of your legs are constantly red.
~You can rattle off your part faster than you can rattle of your name.
~You've been to as many football games as the average fan but still have no idea how the game is played.

Children's Books That Didn't Make It:


1) You're Different -- And That's Bad
2) Robert: Dad's New Wife
3) The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
4) Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
5) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
6) Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
7) That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption.
8) 101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool
9) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
10) The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
11) Strangers Have the Best Candy
12) Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
13) You Were an Accident
14) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
15) Your Nightmares Are Real
16) Where Would You Like to be Buried?
17) You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
18) You've got AIDS, Charlie Brown
19) A Child's Guide to Arsonry
20) The Birds and the Bees: The Real Story

- Thanks Michelle! I just had to steal that! Love to love ya baby!