I am 5'3 brown hair blue eyes qualified for hooters i love to fish and hunt with my dad. basicly i'm the living pruf for the song redneck woman


Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."


Priest: "What have you done my child?"


Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."


Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"


Girl: "Because he touched my hand."


Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)


Girl: "Yes father."


Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."


Girl: "Then he touched my breast."


Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)


Girl: "Yes father."


Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."


Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."


Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)


Girl: "Yes father."


Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."


Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."


Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)


Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"


Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."


Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"


Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"


Repost if you laughed

         "thats fucked up"
>Guy: "Can we have sex right now?"
>Girl: "Can we do what?"
>Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"
>Girl: "Um.....no."
>Guy: "Why?"
>Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my
>friend......."
>Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won' tell."
>Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want
>to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
>Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
>Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
>Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.
>
>5 minutes pass.......
>
>Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
>Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me!"
>Guy: tries to kiss her.
>Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
>Guy: continues trying.
>Girl: moves to the back seat
>
>Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl.
>Starts to
>kiss her.
>Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
>Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves
>over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
>Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."
>Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard
>to get".
>Girl: crying, continues to fight.
>Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
>Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
>Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.
>
>
>An hour passes.........
>Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
>Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, sobbing.
>Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If
>you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I
>love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
>Girl: pulls back,
>"Just take me home, now."
>Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.
>
>
>2 months later.........
>Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in
>2 months."
>Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."
>Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure
>to receive.
>Doctor: "You are pregnant."
>Girl: faints.
>
>The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the
>Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy
>in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling
>you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
>
>The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got
>her pregnant....then he lied about it. So completely depressed......the
>girl commits suicide
>by drug overdose.......
>
>Girls, if this story touched you, repost it as "That's Fucked up"
>Guys, if this story touched you, repost it as "I'll kill any fucker who
>does this

         this is so true

[30. things Girlz want Guyz to know

1. We want to be hugged

2. We want you to show us affection even when people you know are around.

3. We have peverted minds SOMETIMES

4. Don't take us for granted.

5. If you like us, make your move before someone else does.

6.If you don't shave, don't expect us too...EVERYDAY!!

7. Even though we're perfectly okay with it, don't tell us to kiss our friends to turn you on unless you're willing to do the same.

8. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.

9. We don't care how sexy your ex was.

10. We absolutely do not care about how hot you think other girls are even if were not going out with you!!!

11. Even though you almost never are, we'll pretend that you're right sometimes.

12. Its not our job to make all the plans.

13. We understand that size doesn't matter.

14. We're not as shallow as you think we all are.

15. PMS is ALWAYS an excuse.

16. On that note, anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.

17. Kenny Chesney IS hot, so get over it.

18. We like it when you say that you're sorry (even if its not entirely your fault)

19. The excuse "I can't dance" is absolutely unacceptable...we'll appreciate the effort.

20. Make fun of us...prepare to DIE!

21. The "little things" are really the biggest things

22. No girl just wants to be "your friend with benefits".

23. Don't smoke and expect us to kiss you, its gross beyond words.

24. We're sensitive.

25. When we trip and or fall, throw yourself upon the altar of sacrifice and humiliate yourself to make us feel better.

26. Don't lie to us...ever.

27. If we take the time to write you cute notes, write us back, we really
like that.

28. Hold our hand
29. At least 98% of you guys who are reading this REALLY should take our advise, it'll make your life a lot easier

30. women are the dominant race and if you guys argue with that we will chop your penis off and cut it into a million peices!]

"WHEN A GUYS SAYS HE MISSES YOU !!"
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it
When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love
When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
Girl facts:
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.
When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.
When an honest girl says, "Ill love you forever,"
she means it.
When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that
---repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you
post this as "WHEN A GUYS SAYS HE MISSES YOU !!"

[Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But whips and chains excite me.
So throw me down
And tie me up,
And show how much u like me!!!]


If you REALLY LIKE OR LOVE someone right now
and MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you tomorrow


[92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.]