I have a hat. This hat is very special to me. I've taken this hat on many adventures. This hat saved my life from a pack of wild boars. This hat fights other hats so it will one day be the ruler of all hats. This hat rather likes salted peanuts. This hat is made of superior cardboard. This hat gives me special powers, such as hat-throw, and hat-block. I traded a hoody for this hat. Jesus wore this hat. Moses fabricated this hat. This hat starred in a Hollywood movie. The hat is an alcoholic. This hat woo's all the ladies. This hat can defeat dragons. Jesus defeated every Roman ever with this hat. The hat actually turned water to wine, not Jesus. This hat was once the Prime Minister of Poland. This hat watched and filmed a pack of gorillas. This hat was married to Sigourney Weaver. This hat climbed Mount Everest. This hat is the largest land mammal. This hat is also the smallest rodent. This hat discovered 4 varieties of potato. This hat has written 3 bestsellers. This hat started a new ringtone fad, known as Crazy Hat. This hat was the first hat in space. This hat was the first hat on Mars. This hat was the first hat to catch all 151 Pokemon. This hat survived the Hindenburg disaster. This hat invented sliced bread. This hat invented the Internet. This hat has the power of 24 men. This hat once beat Zeus at Connect 4. This hat produced Michael Jackson's album 'Thriller'. This hat was used as an Ark to save animals. This hat prefers butter over margarine. This hat once collected £80000 in pennies, and then donated it to sick children. This hat has survived 19 gunshot wounds. This hat defeated SARS. This hat can jump higher than a pig. This hat has the largest rim-to-body ratio of all hats. This hat has the larest wingspan of all hats. This hat fell asleep on the worlds fastest rollercoaster. This hat built the worlds fastest rollercoaster. This hat hates golf. This hat can get 4-pointers in basketball. This hat invented McDonalds. This hat can fly. This hat once owned the one ring to rule them all. This hat knew Tyler Durdan wasn't real. This hat can almost beat Batman in a fight. This hat can roll a natural 21. This hat is hotter than the sun. This hat owns the largest collection of lightbulbs. This hat hates the metric system. This hat survived falling into a volcano. This hat sold a Pez dispenser for £140 on eBay. This hat is actually the next in line to become King of England. This hat always bowls a 300. This hat does NOT like marmite. This hat dislikes Nazi's, but defends their right to free speech. This hat said 'Go Sox'. This hat noticed the Stormtrooper who hit his head instantly. This hat invented music. God made the earth in 5 days, then the hat helped finish it on the 6th. This hat achieved the first sonic boom. This hat enjoys lego. This hat can beat up Steven Segal. This hat is invincible to lasers. This hat has syphillis. This hat invented the egg. This hat achieved the largest human rainbow. This hat is cooler than Chuck Norris. This hat was once best friends with Grizzly Adams. This hat ate a record amount of dried raisins. This hat rides a horse, just to be cool. This hat told Ghandi what to say. This hat invented yo momma jokes. This hat once said 'Who's the Boss is not a food'. This hat defends the indians right to have casinos. This hat once stole all the Royal jewels. This hat can beat up Hercules. This hat is good at algerbra. This hat is better at solving mysteries than Quincy. This hat made out with Elton Johns hairpiece. This hat wrote all of Jimmy Hendrix's music. This hat beat Hades at giant Jenga. This hat can pick up every pickup stick with its hatcheeks. This hat dislikes pre-op transexuals. This hat is indifferent to post-op transsexuals. This hat prefers brown sauce over ketchup. This hat discovered steel. This hat once slapped Les Dennis. This hat was once in the X-Files. This hat gets sad when Kenny dies. This hat invented the solid gold toilet. This hat has no bowels. This hat enjoys flickering coloured lights. This hat enjoys Steve Irwin more than he should. This had invented religion. This hat hates the colour green. This hat believes Jessica Fox is unattractive, but is confused to why; this hat believes its something to do with the lower half of her face. This hat thoroughly enjoys Lee Evans. This hat is an ass-man. This hat invented sweaters for dogs. This hat wears Calvin Kline - Obsession. This hat thinks wearing socks in bed is weird. This hat dislikes the Atkins diet. This hat plays a mean game of hold'em. This hat invented the rechargable battery. This hat once dated Margot Kidder. This hat can speak 400 different languages, and has even invented 3 himself. This hate dislikes it when people use too much mayonaisse. This hat prefers blue kool-aid over all the other flavours. This hat is a black belt in 6 forms of karate. This hat cannot wear trousers. This hat invented denim. This hat is vastly afraid of Jodie Marshes breasts. This hat will one day destroy the world. This hat invented the term 'gangsta'. This hat is an excellent dancer. This hat, while poorly, killed a royal of Finland for a teaspoon of cough syrup. This hat invented a cure of cancer, but destroyed it, as he did not like the colour of it. This hat enjoys poorly dubbed adverts. This hat belives washing machines live longer with Calgon. This hat enjoys tuneful catchphrases. This hat knows for a fact that Catwoman is shit. This hat is aroused by blu-tac. This hat is annoyed when someone calls a saucer a small plate. This hat invented the longest word in the English langauge ever, pneumonouotramicroscopicsilicovolcano-coniosis, meaning a lung disease caused by inhaling very fine particles of silica dust. This hat hates Christmas. This hat enjoys velvet-covered hatracks, but only if the base is made of mahogany. The hat dislikes falling out of bed. The hat invented the hat-bed. The hat is a hat.