Here we go again......

[Who would care if i died tonight?
Who would care at all?
Would you really care if i slashed the vein?
Would you cry or would you bawl?

I want do die, I really do
But you won't let me do it myself
I must wait for my time to come
I must wait to lose my health

We all know what goes on
What I do to withdraw blood
One day when I have nothing more to live for
It shall be done and it will flood

Won't you let me make my choice?
Instead of using these drugs?
If I want to die of my own accord
I should be able to drain my blood

Please don't worry my mother
Don't worry, father or son
I've just stopped caring
But I still love you mom

Whoever shall find me shall be scarred for life
But it's just another person in this world
Who shall become depressed just like I
and shall become just as cold

Please let me do the deed
Let me empty my veins
Let me get out of life
And get rid of all this pain]






HAHAHAHAHA We have just counted ... wow ... 19 out of 44 girls on my MSN Ive slept with ... thats %43.18 ... 16 are international / state ... maybe time to slow down ... =S




Ok so here's another little poem of mine, it just reflects on how you have people that are Depressed and people that are "Depressed", and how the Depressed people's life usually ends and how the "Depressed" people get "Help"
Read it, please, and give me your views, if you don't understand it, message me and I'll be happy to explain it to you.

[Sleep is for which we are destined, the eternal sleep of death.
Sleep is the only practise we get, for we deserve what we get.
We all must die someday, for immortality cannot be found.
I shall tell you the story of a boy once sad, a boy who died a death.
He died one and twice again, he slept the eternal rest.
We've all heard of Ned Kelly, a hero and an outlaw.
But who's heard of Joseph Burry? The boy noone saw.
A young man who died, at his own hands he fled.
Noone listened, noone saw, and now the poor boy is dead.
If noone listens to the sorrows of a sad one,
And listen only to the seekers
Then the ones who deserve our help
Will turn to drugs, their weakness.
A young boy troubled, his mind crumbled, he turned to Acid my friends.
Made one slip, got caught in a trip, and depressed he became again.
So he took up a pencil, who knew what he thought?
A knife, an razor a sword?
He slahsed at his throat just once, not twice, and nothing he felt he thought.
So more and more depressed he came, stuck in a trip or sorrow.
He laid himself down to sleep, try again tomorrow.
Joseph did try again, as he was depressed in awe.
And all i can say as i walked in, is exactly what i saw.
I saw a friend, troubled and sad, and blood on his clothes and hands.
And next to him, rolled out his fist, a broken pencil, gold band.
A gnarled windpipe, his throat be red, he slashed away with that wood.
He slashed and cut and ground away, he did all that he could.

So remember the story of this poor sad boy, who took to much of the sacred boil
And remember the story of a noone, who lived without toil
Noone listened and noone saw, how much he needed help
For they were all focused on the ones, who didn't need the wealth
Always remember the following words, 'cause they are true as life

Pay Attention to the silent, who don't say a word.
The ones who say nothing and who noone has heard.
Heed to reply to the ones who mourn and ponder.
Pay no attention to the ones, who ask for help but don't flonder.
The ones who need the help you shall never see.
And the ones who don't need your help, will always be there to be.]



Hehehe I am worth $1,643,066.00 on HumanForSale.com =P



Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html




Ok, now, don't abuse me for this poem cause some mofo pm'd me and abused me for it *rolls eyes* if you don't like it ignore it or don't read on cause it's artistic expression dumbasses.

[I look outside and see the sun; I look inside and see my mum.
If only she could go out there, open her eyes and let out her hair.
But no, she’s stuck in here, sick and riddled, she cannot move, she cannot talk, she cannot see, she cannot walk.
If only she was healthy, my life would be complete, but death has decided to take her, and now she competes.
My love for my mother is not enough to wake her; I wish it was me, not my mother.
But nothing can be done, and I sit by her side, waiting for her to go, waiting for her to die
Cut the flesh, let bleed the wound, let loose the fear, under the moon
Tis not unruly to let loose the pain, let loose the fear, feel good in the game
Feel the rush, watch the blood pour, keep a nice scar and live evermore
Crow’s fly high, in the dark sky, searching for food, scavenging thy
As I picked up a knife and hold it to my arm, I push for father and swipe for mum
A shallow wound, deep pool of blood, but I feel the rush, get rid of the mud
-Find a way-
-To Rid Dismay-
-Cut the Body-
-Feel No Shame-]




Here's one about Ebb, just shush shush if u kno her kk? =)
[I feel your purdy skin, up against mine
My body up to yours, I feel fine
I make love to you, I cannot stop
I lay there, with you ontop
Your perfect skin, has no single flaw
I lay there, you close the door
Off come your clothes, to reveal a princess
Off come mine, how i be restless
A working class man, strong as an ox
Makes love to a woman, sly as a fox
Surely a man such as me, cannot be loved by princess thee
If there is something to gain, least no rain
You forget the pain, and I be lain
But it feels so nice, I can't get enough
It feels so nice, I shan't be rough
I can't understand, what you see in me
But one day we shall run away, to the sea
I love you my darling
But I can never be sure
You plot and you sceme
But I want more
What do you see in me, a man so sad
A man so poor and a man so mad
But we shall stay together, and make love every night
Untill I find what you want, and set it right]



A sad poem about life at home, still in it's early stages.....
[As the light fades away, her heart has lost its gold.
I watch my mother sleep all day, I see through the wall.
Please get better mother, as you are all.
You sleep from 3 in the afternoon, all through the night, can’t you please, become alright.
I’m about to lose my worried mind, mother dear mother I can’t leave you behind.
All I do is take care of you, all I know, is tomorrow will go.
And mother dear mother, there can never be another, I love you and you me too.
Dear sister is sick, the dulleye again, she decided to end it all, the tracks of the train.
Yet my brother, bless his soul, has lost hope he’s lost it all.
If only you knew, how much I do, would you praise my strength?
I’ve lost my heart, you’ve lost your soul, your other son, has lost all hope, my dear sister, had lost it all.
Her funeral is Friday, yes the thirteenth, but don’t worry mother, you’ll just sleep.
Chronic Fatigue is the word for my pain, dulleye depression, all of disdain.
Suicide.
I wish you were better, my brother would talk, my sister would be alive again, and my life would return.
Eighteen months since I went away, and I will see friends, again one day.
My brother he works, sixteen hours a day, seven to eleven, far away.
On the coasts of Egypt, before rise the sun, he sleeps there alone, and dreams of you, mum.
Life he has none, he mines gold all day, he thinks of you mum, giving you his pay.
But when you go, and leave this show, we will be happy, you out of misery.
Everything’s gunna be alright, when you die, no woman no cry.
When you leave, you join sister be gone, and your dear son, my dear brother, will return home. For we need no money no more.
Whale Oil Beef Hooked. I wished before, I wish again, I wished there, I wished in pain.
I walk in, and you’re gone, now it’s better for us, for us all again.]



Ok here's a "powm" a good friend of mine by d name of Emma wrote, i lubs her to death an yah:
[Long nights she spent crying, thinking she was alone
To scared to ask for help to small to take it on her own
Her distant screams grew louder, yet no one seemed to care
Her isolated feeling that she just wanted to share

Chocking on the memories of dreams she never dreamt
She wished that she could change things, the words she never meant
She found herself choking remembering what she erased
But still no one noticed, they didn’t seem fazed

Then she started what she shouldn't, it started off small
But each cut grew deeper she was backed into a wall
People began to notice but they thought that it was all fake
She realised asking for help was her biggest fallen mistake

So she spent more time in silence still crying in the night
She saw that she was slipping; she began to lose her fight
Her story was still nothing trapped up inside
When asked how she was feeling they knew she always lied

Her message to her parents she left carved into her arm
In the same place as the first, the one that left no harm
Her life summed into a paragraph and put in the Sunday mail
A lasting image of the world a place of hate and betrayal

Perhaps if someone listened, tried to show they cared
It never would have happened, the innocent be spared
Instead all that lies is a memory, beneath a stone head
Reminding us what happened, the blood that she bled]



I've started writing in the diary thingo, so read that if you wish, and leave a note, just to make me feel spacial!

Now I beith the stu pie. Yup yup! These people are the gwoociest people:
[Madzeri] <--shes the gwoociest
[VeraAda]<---a parrot mistaken for a goldfish and
[Doodle of Cydonia]<---PIP
[samwise11] <---*zip*flip*flap*whip*zip* haha he's a champ




I'm alspo property or LISSA! lubs ya lis! =)



Led Zeppelin - Battle of Evermore

Queen of light took her bow
And then she turned to go,
The prince of peace embraced the gloom
And walked the night alone.
Oh, dance in the dark of night,
Sing to the morn - ing light.
The dark lord rides in force tonight
And time will tell us all.
Oh, throw down your plow and hoe,
Rest not to lock your homes.
Side by side we wait the might
Of the darkest of them all.
I hear the horses' thunder
Down in the valley blow,
I'm waiting for the angels of avalon,
Waiting for the eastern glow.
The apples of the valley hold,
The seas of happiness,
The ground is rich from tender care,
Repay, do not forget, no, no.
Oh,-------dance in the dark of night,
Sing to the morning light.
The apples turn to brown and black, the tyrant's face is red.
Oh the war is common cry, pick up you swords and fly
The sky is filled with good and bad
That mortals never know.
Oh, well, the night is long, the beads of time pass slow,
Tired eyes on the sunrise, waiting for the eastern glow.
The pain of war cannot exceed
The woe of aftermath,
The drums will shake the castle wall,
The ring wraiths ride in black, ride on.
Sing as you raise your bow,
Shoot straighter than before.
No comfort has the fire at night
That lights the face so cold.
Oh dance in the dark of night,
Sing to the mornin' light.
The magic runes are writ in gold
To bring the balance back, bring it back.
At last the sun is shining, the clouds of blue roll by,
With flames from the dragon of darkness
The sunlight blinds his eyes




Fuck me this is an old pica, as u can see it's from 09th January 2004. It's the only decent one i could fine of us *cough*cough*
Anyway, I would just like to show Court how much i appreciate her, how much I lover her, and how much I will remember her.
She's let me say why, I've asked her, and the reason is that she had Cervix Cancer, yes terrible isn't it?
I love you Court, never forget that, and if you were a man, I'd fuck you! XD



Hehe music i like, is as follows by the bands of as follows and die in the way that follows, please? This is in no pacticular order =P
3 Doors Down
Audioslave
Deep Purple
Dire Straits
Eagles of Death Metal
Evanesence
Gomez
Green Day
Kings of Leon
Led Zeppelin
Metallica
Oasis
Pearl Jam
Pete Murray
Powder Finger
Rage Against the Machine
Silverchair
System of a Down
SOME of the Beatles
Xavier Rudd
and other various artists of no name.



Supposedly i am.....
Warmth ||||||||||||||| 42%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Emotional Stability ||||||||| 22%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 46%
Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 46%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Social Assertiveness |||||||||||| 38%
Sensitivity ||||||||||||||| 46%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Introversion ||||||||| 30%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Independence ||||||||||||||| 42%
Perfectionism ||||||||| 30%
Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%


This song will turn you on then over and over, it will give you an orgasm.....

Farewell to the west now, and welcome to the east.
Farewell to the one who rate, the sand beneath my feet.
Well thankyou for the space we shared, and the heart and soul my friend.
And i will see you through the colours, between the mountains as the sun decends.
Oooooooh we trusted, and we reflected upon the ground.
Common ground we walk upon, with common feelings common things.
Yes it is a cruel world, but there is solace amongst the sand.
Peace to you for now, we will share again, we will share again.

Farewell to the west now, my mind is open to the east.
To all the new faces, new minds and things to see.
And I am unknown here, and my heart at times it weeps, but you will see me through the colours, as the sun sinks in the sea.
Ooooooh we twisted, and we reflected upon the ground.
Common ground we walked upon, with common feelings common things.
Yes it is a cruel world, but there is solace amongst the sand.
Peace to you for now, we will share again, we will share again.
Ooooooh we twisted, we reflected upon the ground.
Common ground we walked upon, with common feelings for common things.
Yes it is a cruel world, but there is solace amongst the sand.
Peace to you for now we will share again, we will share again , we will share again, we will share again, oh my my friend, oooh we will share again, sea's in all the fire.

Xavier Rudd - Solace





This is me (on the left) with one of my best mates, Emma, near the river torrens, Adelaide.
It was taken Saturday, 26th march 2005, so it's actually RECENT!
I luv my emmie, can't get anough of her, lub ya em! =)