Cassandra JoAnne Wade

I feel as if the demons are still pulling at the strings of my tattered and torn heart, and yet when they pull, another piece of it falls down into the hole of my sorrow and hurt. and i fear each piece that falls for another piece of me is yet taken out of my hands.but when i try to put it all together again, it falls into the forever blackness of bloody sin, and yet i do nothing and can do nothing but let myself bleed..........forever more, i fear my heart shall bleed........

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Hey everyone, My name is Cassandra Wade...
I've recently not been logging on to elf-town, for lack of the resources...But my life has come to a lot of changes since the last time that i logged on...

I have currently had a little boy named Stepfon Akia Shannon Jr. He is such a cutie!!! He looks like one of those dolls you buy off of t.v. that you pay 29.99 a month for...hehe...ill upload a picture later. As for my relatoinship with the father, i still love him more than anything in the world except for my son...but we as well as any other couple have our problems... right now were at our all time low...but we're slowly picking our selves back up. You see we been in love for so long that we lost track of who we were as individuals... But he has these ways of makeing me smile on the darkest of days... sometimes i be feeling that god makes it rain, because hes is showing he is showing his shame, or warning me that something bad is about to happen, and most of the time it does. But one thing he has blessed me with...and its the man i love, stepfon. Without him, i wouldn't have my beautiful son Akia...God has blessed me in many ways, but they are the biggest, and i thank him everyday...to tell you the truth, i dont think that i would have a reason to care if they weren't here...

God only knows how much i love him, and the lengths that I would go too, and that no one, not even god him-self can stop me from loving him. i may only be 19, and alot of you may think that i am not capable of love, but you all that doubt me are mistakinly wrong. i have been through a lot in my life, and when it comes to him, or the child i held in my womb, i will do anything....

I am getting older, and i am hoping that i eventually learn my lesson of growing up,learning to trust, and learning patients.. For these are the three lessons that i most greatly need to learn...

So i pray to our lord above to help me right now in my time of need, to get through this, and to give my love and my-self the strengh to keep our love alive....

I also pray that he keeps all of my firends and family that have helped me along the way, that i may not keep in contact with, or taht are struggling as well,for him to keep them safe, and well...and that they know the blessings of his love and grace...

Amen...