Nothing
it was cold. colder than hell, when it freezes over. old folks told of no such winter in a long time.
the newspapers spoke of the freezing weather killing people. they were literally fainting and
dropping to the ground,just aside the road, for the drivers to discover.it was horrible.
but i didnt mind much. i sat home most of the time, thinking of just one thing. life seemed häppy.
but all good things end eventually, and like armageddon, or judgement day, it struck me with the might of thunder,
like a sharp blow from an axe to the head i recieved the news that i was left behind.
left behind to be by myself and manage on my own. a thousand questions arose in my mind.the
strongest one - why - was the most haunting. some people recover quite quick. others try to
remedy the wounds with a backward treatment, trying to solve the problems which tore them
into pieces. it was also my first reaction. useless. i wasnt prepared at all. it seemed that all my life was taken along. all was lost. there was nothing.
my existence as such was broken into little pieces like a silver mirror under a fist of discontent. WHY? the question
never left me. i doubt it, that it will leave at all. my heart bled fear before, but never did it think of such to happen.
it was out of the question. and now it is here. like a nightmare, from which you think that you will soon awake.
...but the awakening never came. eventually i started recovering, but the change had impacted me too strongly. i was never the
positive optimist i was before. i started to think about things before they even happen. like thinking in the future.
i learned of even more gruesome facts, which cut my scars wide open again. i lost all hope. from that moment began the first
day of the rest of my life.

it was still cold. colder than anything. you could feel your ears screaming with pain when you went outside.i had just made plans
to visit and old friend, who lived outside the city. i caught a bus to the train station, to get on the 19.15 train.
i managed to get myself a pretty good windowseat and sat quietly while waiting for the train to start moving.as it begun, i
started remeniscing of no reason to begin with. the good things, how they kept me together before. how i told myself
that the memories will never let anything bad happen to me. it was just too good to be true. as it turned out, it was.
i thought of the way i blamed myself for everything, of the cryings at night, the sleepless nights...it was hard to handle.
i had been raised by my grandmother, but regardless of that, i had a very happy childhood with no worries whatsoever.
that is why i always felt that nothing could happen to me. i was untouchable. as i was thinking these thoughts, landscape moved past me very quickly.
the cold had frozen all the electric wiring ,the force that powered the train naturally, so you could see a kind of pale
blue flashings on the white snow from the sparkles of the frozen wires, disturbing the deep darkness. i was so into my thoughts that i had begun to stare into one point, exactly out the window,
my eyes had already been adjusted to the flashings. and then, something happened. in a period of one continuous flash i saw something so frightening,
that would easily petrify anyone to the point. in one fraction of a moment i could see very clearly into the darkness, it lasted for about three seconds. and in those
few seconds i saw a dark silouette swinging something broad , possibly a blade or a big cane, at a moving heap on the ground.
it was 19.46. it was my stop. i had fallen into somewhat of a dream. it was very hard to work through, i couldnt understand anything at first.
and then it hit me....the twisting object on the ground manifested into my subconsious, and now it formed a pattern...it was a kneeling person.