http://www.mindistortion.net/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=sh-dot-na <click the links - u no u want 2>http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?sh-dot-na

Hi im Christina, my friends call me Stina or Sh-dot-na.
I am 14 years old i have blonde hair, blue eyes.I live at craghead(for those of you who dont know where that is it is in stanley,for those of you who dont know where that is it is in the north east of england.)
I live with my mam, step dad, little brother Jacob(2) and little sister Jessica (10 months) and at weekends and school hols my cuzin Becky(15).
I love meeting new people and making new friends.


STUFF I THOUGHT WOZ GUD OR SWEET!!

Don't EVER leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love... tonight your true love will realize how much they love you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will occur. if you break the chain then you will have bad luck...]

[If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.

CHAV JOKES

What should you do for a chav who is thinking about suicide?
Lend him a gun.
What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe...
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of Stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
What do you call a chav in a suit?
The accused
What do you say to a chav in a uniform?
Big Mac and Fries please.
Two guys in a car:
BUMP!
What was that
-[A chav]
BUMP!
What was that
-[A Chav]
BUMP! BUMP!
What was that!
-[Had to hit the curb to get that one]
How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!
What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.
How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?
She is the most pregnant one.
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!
What do you call a chav with half a brain?
Gifted.
What do you call chavs with a brain?
A crowd.
Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?
One can read and one can write!
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Whats a chavs favourite ice-cream?
Mint
What do you call a Chav at college.
The janitor.
Where do Chavettes go for work?
Street corners.
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
What do u call a Chav alive?
****ing lucky!
What’s a Chavs favourite car?
One without an alarm.
Why did the Chav stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
Because it had 'concentrate' on it.
What did the little Chav say to the bigger Chav?
Can you get served?
What do you call two dead Chavs?
A good start to the day.
What have Chav girls got in common with turtles?
When they're on their back they're ****ed.
What happens to a thought in a Chavs head?
It dies of loneliness.
How does a Chav girl turn the lights off after sex?
She closes the car door.
What do you do if you shoot a Chav?
Reload.
Two Chavs jump off a bridge.....who wins?
We do.
What’s the difference between a Chavette and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men…
How do you stop a chav from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.
Two chavs run 100m, then jump off a cliff. One hits the water 2 seconds before the other, but he had a 3 second head start. Who wins?
Society
Why did the chavette stop using the pill?
Because it kept falling out.
Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years





Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: What would you choose: your life...or me?
Boy: My life
The Girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you are my life.

thing against abortion
Mummy keep me safe, mummy keep me warm,
And with all your love, help me to form.
I’m six weeks today and a birthday gift to me
is a pair of bright blue eyes so that one day I might see.
I’ve already got my arms; I have a puggy little nose,
and at the end of my feet are funny little things called toes.
I’m looking forward now to life; ice-cream, snails,
Teddy bears and long fairy tales.
Where are you going I wonder today??
In a bus, in a car, far far away.
Why are you lying down being pushed on four wheels??
This doesn’t usually happen-how funny it feels.
Banging through doors-all people in green,
If they hurt you mummy, mummy just scream.
Don’t go to sleep mummy, don’t leave me alone.
Mummy I’m scared, I want to go home.
Mummy what’s happening, I’m starting to cry.
Run quick mummy, I don’t want to die.
They’re killing me mummy, they’re pulling me apart.
My legs, my arms, they’re cutting my heart.
Goodbye mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy goodbye.
Thanks for trying but I won’t see the sky
I won’t see the birds or the grass or the trees.
I won’t sing sweet songs or feel a strange breeze.
I love you dear mummy, I really really do.
And I hope dear mummy that you loved me too

One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it. "Without your love, I would die." REPOST IF YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE!!!

the way to her heart
1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hot, fine, or sexy.
2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second.
3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
7 . Recognize the small things . . . They usually mean the most.
8 . Call her sweetie, baby, or honey. (or darling)
9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
11 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
13 . Play with her hair.
14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
16 . Tell her funny jokes.. tell her stupid jokes.. just tell her jokes.
17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
19 . Carve your names into a tree.
20 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
21 . Give her piggyback rides.
22 . Bring her flowers just because.
23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you are alone.
24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants. (that way she will always have you around even when you aren't there...and she can always see your smiling face)
26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
27 . Kiss her in the rain.
28 . If you're in love with her . . . tell her

30. things Girlz want Guyz to know
1. We want to be hugged
2. We want you to show us affection even when people you know are around.
3. We have peverted minds SOMETIMES
4. Don't take us for granted.
5. If you like us, make your move before someone else does.
6.If you don't shave, don't expect us too...EVERYDAY!!
7. Even though we're perfectly okay with it, don't tell us to kiss our friends to turn you on unless you're willing to do the same.
8. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
9. We don't care how sexy your ex was.
10. We absolutely do not care about how hot you think other girls are even if were not going out with you!!!
11. Even though you almost never are, we'll pretend that you're right sometimes.
12. Its not our job to make all the plans.
13. We understand that size doesn't matter.
14. We're not as shallow as you think we all are.
15. PMS is ALWAYS an excuse.
16. On that note, anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.
17. Kenny Chesney IS hot, so get over it.
18. We like it when you say that you're sorry (even if its not entirely your fault)
19. The excuse "I can't dance" is absolutely unacceptable...we'll appreciate the effort.
20. Make fun of us...prepare to DIE!
21. The "little things" are really the biggest things
22. No girl just wants to be "your friend with benefits".
23. Don't smoke and expect us to kiss you, its gross beyond words.
24. We're sensitive.
25. When we trip and or fall, throw yourself upon the altar of sacrifice and humiliate yourself to make us feel better.
26. Don't lie to us...ever.
27. If we take the time to write you cute notes, write us back, we really
like that.
28. Hold our hand
29. At least 98% of you guys who are reading this REALLY should take our advise, it'll make your life a lot easier
30. women are the dominant race and if you guys argue with that we will chop your penis off and cut it into a million peices!

30 THINGS THAT WIll MAKE YOUR PARENTS GO CRAZY
1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and
say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I?m a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your
underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Slither everywhere...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them
you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...

A white man yells to a black man. "Hey colored boy! You're blockin my view."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was [black],"
"When I grew up I was [black],"
"When I'm sick I'm [black],"
"When I go in the sun I'm [black],"
"When I'm cold I'm [black],"
"When I die I'll be [black]"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're [Pink],"
"When you grow up you're [White],"
"When you're sick, you're [Green],"
"When you go in the sun you turn [Red],"
"When you're cold you turn [Blue],"
"And when you die you turn [Purple]."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know
where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"

20 ways to keep your sanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard Devon.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."
20. Put this in all of your profiles

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid £6.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you frigging pulled me over.
When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one god damn piece of paper!
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?