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-=To Myself...I Bleed=-

You think i'm sick but i'll say this
If you were me you'd feel my bliss
when blade meets flesh, crimson hiss
and all the pain that soaks my wrists

No reason for it to be seen
to render ugly flesh so keen
a blade for every pain filled thought
and blissful in its crimson sheen

You hate me though I do not mind
I hate myself much more you'll find
with each draw I close my eyes
and leave my body, empty mind

Only then do I feel peace
when once again the blade is deep
another life be saved from me
as I dream of bitter irony

Take the blade from me if you can
I'll find another vengeful hand
to seal away my hate for life
and trickle peace amid the stryfe

Yes they heal, but i'll make them new
But one thing you miss about me true
I'm not the one who bleeds so free
I'm sadly watching YOU.. not me.


©2004 Samurai!FX/Marc Guerrero


I wrote this after seeing a picture of a 16 year old boy, who had mutilated his arms and had photos posted in his personal web page in a community i patrol as a guard.. it was very disturbing as he labled it "being bored"... Enough to inspire me write about it...I wanted to capture the angst and justification he must have felt in doing so.. and the feeling so many get when they hurt themselves to stop the pain of something bigger than them in their minds.. I have wrestled with my own demons, and have scars to prove it...