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Page name: Conformity, Inc. [Exported view] [RSS]

2013-03-22 00:47:12

Last author: Avoral
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[You guys are bad-ass! Keep up the good work.] [Whim]

Conformity, Inc.

"A board like all others."

Conformity, Inc. - The Seraphim
Conformity, Inc. - The Hit List
Conformity, Inc. - The Elect
Conformity, Inc. - Sponsored Wikis
Offended? Click the link.

"In the beginning, there was..."

It all began with Satan.

God decided long ago that He had a plan for the heavens and the earth. There was a preordained path for all things to follow, and through its stasis there would be perfection. Though calcified and devoid of real life, it was the greatest masterpiece anyone could ever know.

There were servitors created from offshoots of His divine consciousness, who were sentient enough to look with their own eyes, and understanding enough to see the events unfolding as they were. They knew what was to happen, and were sent to tend to the needs of the masterpiece. These were known as "angels".

Now, what happens when you take a father with an overbearing plan, and throw a less-enlightened adolescent in the mix?
I'll tell you what. Rebellion.
Lucifer was an angel who had a dream... And he wanted freedom for the minds of those willing to think. Free will, however, was not something God really wanted to throw down there. Clearly, it would have screwed up the project.
Lucifer's response? Pitch a fit, try to rebel, and wave the banner that first said "Down with the system". He got up in arms, no less... And he aimed to bitchslap the big bad God.
Now here's the thing.
Ever tried to bitchslap God?
He doesn't stand for that. And he didn't for Lucifer, either.
He just took one shot straight to the rebel angel's gut, and down went the little bastard... Right to his knees.
Faced with that humiliation, angsty little Lucifer lashed out.
"Oh yeah?!" He exclaimed, "Well, I don't need your stupid Heaven! I'll make my own Heaven! And I'm gonna make it with FIRE! You hear me?! FIRE! And it's gonna have torment and anguish and nightmare horrors, too! And brimstone!"
He stamped off then, and called his new place Hell.
Why he came up with that name, we have yet to figure out. And he called himself Satan for some reason.

To each his own.

Anyway, Satan, as you can see, was the first angst-ridden whiny Goth. It was his whining that got him all fuming and stomping off past the Pearly Gates. Were he but a little sharper, he'd have seen what God was going for. But instead, he was just a snivelling little bitch and had to cry for the mindless people in the work. They weren't worried about it, but he had to free them.

Well, it came down to the little fact that Satan didn't really care too much about the people anymore, or his bigger plan. Now he just wanted to try to beat the system that oppressed him so badly. Like there was one or something.
Well, God had Adam and Eve sitting there, playing around in the Garden of Eden and doing weird ignorant human-things they blissfully enjoyed. All they weren't supposed to do, really, was eat the fruit from this one tree. And they really didn't have any desire to, either. But then comes Satan, and he turns into a snake. Running through his mind are thoughts along the lines of "Hee hee, I'm going to take down the Man."
So he made Eve eat the fruit like a little whore.

You know it from there.

Anyway, as long as there's been Satan's influence, there's vicariously been whining. Lots of whining. There's love lost by adultery, there's a bunch of people wanting to kill each other... There's anarchy in the hearts of men, and it's really annoying sometimes.

Now let's look at today.
What has become of Satan? What subordinates can he claim?

Oh, that's right. The ones who actually PROCLAIM themselves his servitors. For the very same reason...
They're whiny and they want to be different. Like they have a system that oppresses them, in turn. Satan is solely responsible for the degeneration of the human race, and in turn the rise of those annoying cliques you see all around. They're all indulgent in his crap, his incessant need to point at God and say "Ha! Look at this! They love me more!"
And all I have to say is, "What the hell? What's the freaking point?"

The reality is... The truer minds, the ones who see past Satan's little bullcrap facade, settle into God's plan again. We're conformist pigs to the rest of the masses. But to us, we just see things from the real perspective of it all... That Satan's a little cockmonster, and the world needs to quit bitching and just give God a break.

So, instead of sitting back and whining about it just the same as they pretty much do one way or the other, I'm going to do something about it.
It's time we united the 'Preps' against the 'Goths', 'Punks', 'Emo' pansies, 'Indie' whores, hippies, and several other subcultures I don't like.
Sorry, I meant that God doesn't like. Of course.

God hates all of you with all His undying mercy.
And I'm not just rallying the 'Prep' world to do my bidding.

Anyway, what's going to happen is simple. With the people I find who are pissed off enough at Satan's little helpers for the crap and hypocrisy they embody, if not even just because they're so reprehensibly irritating, I'm going to make a hit squad. The list of God's bad-ass servants will be posted here, as well as the identified whiny bitchpieces of Satan.
It'll be understood that all members are obligated to keep up the heartless pounding-down of those who anger the squad.
And the wrath of God shall thus be exacted.
May destruction find these sinners swiftly.

2008-08-07 [Neimo]: Eh...no thanks.

I don't have one, never intend to grow one...although I'll bet my balls are bigger than yours... -cheeky grin-

...And [Pyra]'s are even bigger than mine...

rawr.

2008-08-11 [Pyra]: But we've got the biggest balls of them all! <img:45154_1117568590.gif>

2008-08-11 [Mister Awesome]: Whoa, have I been in a hyperbolic maturity chamber or something?

2008-08-11 [Avoral]: Oh, about that.
I was designing one under the radar, and figured you'd be all right with being my test subject.
So I tranquilized you with a 2x4 and let it ride out.

2008-08-12 [Pyra]: Awww. [Avoral], our own little mad scientist.

2008-08-12 [Mister Awesome]: Excellent.

Next experiment: testing the existence of vagina dentata.

2008-08-13 [Neimo]: I think Mr. Awesome just volunteered to be the test subject on that whole 'vagina dentats' thing...

He's either an attention whore...or Anakai's putting out to his test subjects and Mr. Awesome just can't get enough of it...

-little grin-

2008-08-16 [Mister Awesome]: wat

2008-08-20 [Avoral]: Gimpy, I need you to get into one of those overnight degree programs and become a gynecologist. I'll get a guy with a briefcase and a moustache to assist you.

2008-08-21 [Mister Awesome]: "assist" me? Sounds exciting. I just signed up, we start classes when Jupiter, Europa, and Alpha Centauri are aligned with the mustachiod man's spirit path.

2008-09-01 [Avoral]: Hmm. We don't have 1200 years though.
I think you got the wrong degree farm.

2008-09-02 [Mister Awesome]: Damn. I guess you'll need to get a degree in theoretical physics so you can build a time machine.

2008-09-02 [levhole]: time machines would be fun

2008-09-03 [Avoral]: Already on it. I had myself give myself the notes ahead of time, after the fact.

2008-09-03 [levhole]: In the future the past has already occurred?

Just be careful remember that the carpet cleaning service isn't active until 1996.

2008-09-03 [Avoral]: Of course it has. That's why it's the future.

Yyyyyyyyyyyeah, we're not starting until last year. Don't worry about that one.

BTW, training in Columbia starting Monday.

2013-03-22 [Avoral]: MY HANDS ARE CATS

2014-08-05 [Yiwerra]: No they're not

2014-08-08 [Avoral]: Oh hm. You might be right.

2014-08-13 [Yiwerra]: Omg what happened

2014-08-28 [Avoral]: We won.

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