Back to Created and Consumed: Ch 6 Pt 2

We helped Jurdo to his feet after he had expelled most of the contents from his stomach, and then guided him toward the hangar bay doors. They opened automatically into a small room lined with desks and communications equipment.

“This must be where we check in…” Ehle observed, “Look, there’s a free registration outlet over there, let’s go that way…” he pointed to a little free space in the crowded room with a bored looking aviary creature inside observing the scales on his claws. It was dressed informally with a small headset attached to one ear and a couple of wires were hanging from small devices on its skin. As we approached, it didn’t acknowledge us.

Doxo waited a while and then cleared his throat, “Excuse me…”

The creature looked up for a moment then resumed its preening, “Mrrrugh! Grrreeegh, riigh riiigh keeeera mrrrugh…”

Doxo blinked, “I beg your pardon?” it just continued to speak in the strange dialect, “For the love of… speak Sangheili! I can’t understand a word you’re saying!”

It just repeated the phrase and pointed to a sign, ‘All new arrivals please go away…’ written in what looked like ink daubs from slender fingers. Upon closer observation, I noticed the ends of the creature’s claws were blackened.

Ehle shrugged, “At least he said please…”

Frowning, Doxo looked down at the creature, “Now… or I’ll report you for not doing your duty.”

“Not authorized to let you in.” It finally replied, “Got nothin’ to do with duty… never seen you abouts, so no need to chat, go away…” it replied impertinently, not looking up from its preening.

Ehle walked to the counter calmly, figuring that if he was courteous, the creature would act the same, “Perhaps you could tell us where exactly we move on to?”

“No.” It said.

“What do you mean, ‘No’?” Ehle demanded.

It looked up and cocked its head to the left, “Don’t speak your language, you don’t get it, then speak your language and still don’t get it…” it sighed, “Don’t serve your kind, so go away.”

Doxo growled a warning, “Tell us where to go, bird…”

“Said no. Go away. Busy…”

I noticed Ehle and Doxo clench their fists over their training blades. There were a few tense seconds where I thought they were going to snap the insolent beast right there, but a second aviary creature relieved the first of its post and smiled up at us. This one had a brilliant crimson and navy crest and its skin was brightly lit with more of the small devices, “Yes?” it asked, removing the makeshift sign.

I stepped past Ehle and Doxo, hauling Jurdo on my shoulder, “We’d like to register, please…”

“What are your names and how long are you staying?” it asked and began to tap on a touch-screen in front of it.

“Er, well I don’t know how long for… we just got here… but my friend here doesn’t feel well and we’d like to give him a bit of a lie down if that’s alright…”

“Ah, you four are part of the exchange… Yes, you’re Gura’s warriors, right?” I nodded a reply, “Ha, well that makes the job easy, don’t need ta register you or nuthin’, just gotta wait a while ‘till we leave for Merien-Tireth.” It pointed to itself, “Part of the exchange too. All getting’ on a big Seraph with ‘the selected’ and heading off to upper portal training…”

“Sorry, Merien-Tireth?” I asked.

“Big planet, lots of water and big, big trees! Oh, it will be splendid! Haven’t been there for years!”

“Alright, well, for now can you direct us to a medical wing please?” I asked, placing a hand over Jurdo’s forehead, his temperature had risen beyond normal. “The flight here has affected my friend more than anticipated and I’m concerned for his well being.”

It nodded, “Sure. Got a place where everyone meets up anyway. It’s close to there.” It scanned the desks along both sides of its cubicle then smiled up to me again, “Be out in a minute. Gotta find a replacement before leaving…” and with that, it unplugged itself and disappeared from sight.

“What was that thing Ehle?” I asked after a while, “Behind the counter?”

“Kig-Yar. They’re more commonly known as Jackals. Never had much respect for the Sangheili, they’re much faster and more nimble than we are. Excellent riflemen too. It’s a pity they have no manners.” Ehle replied.

I looked back at the counter where the nice one had now returned, “Not all of them…” I smiled at it as it climbed over the desk to join us.

Ehle frowned, “There are the odd few who learn the basic forms of etiquette, yes.” He scowled as it passed, “Mostly the fledglings I’d wager.”

“What about the short ones?” I pointed over to where a group of halflings had gathered.

“They’re Grunts…” Jurdo croaked.

“They’re what?” I looked at him for the answer but was forced to dodge another onslaught of vomit, “By the rings! When did you eat that?!”

Doxo took over the explanation, “Unggoy, yes. They aren’t exactly the most finely tuned instruments of the Covenant …” he nodded toward another small group who had just entered from outside. They were led by a slightly taller halfling in black armour.

“Looks like new recruits…” Ehle muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Yep! Fresh from Unggo. Got about six lots of ‘em in this last shipment. Half-pints aren’t real smart but they sure can cause diversions…” the aviary creature pipped. We all looked at it, “What? You think Jik hasn’t fought in mixed battle before?”

“’Nuff said…” Ehle grinned.

I crouched to speak to the aviary creature, “Jik, is it? Can you take us to the medical wing now?”

Jik nodded, “Sure thing! Follow! Follow!”

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“Piptik! Me tells you stuff and you not listen! ‘Leets got sicks all over place! Find ‘leet sicks and clean ‘em up! ‘TIZ NOT HARD CONCEPT TO GRIP YOU KNOW!”

“Sir! Me no hears you the first times! You not make order clear!”

We walked into the medical wing to the sight of five Grunts, four in orange armour and one in black, obviously the leader, “You never hears orders, Piptik! You never listens to me! What if you was in battle? You be dead in two spats of a pistol!” the leader addressed his four followers, “You all needs to listen to me now. See puddles?” the four of them looked directly down and shook their heads; they were standing in a dry spot, “LOOKIE AT ME YOU NUMB BRAINS!” the leader screeched. I had to shield my eardrums to keep them from collapsing, “VAMAT!”

“WHAT?!” the smallest yelled, throwing down a soiled rag and pointing, “ME FOUNDS A MESS!”

“DID ME TELLS YOU TO WIPE IT?!” the leader growled, face to face with the one named Vamat, “NO! SO NO WIPEY!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME!” Vamat cried out and pushed the leader down. He flailed on his back and grunted obscenities while Vamat stomped past us. Jik took him by his shoulder, “WHAT?! Oh… Jik, hi…”

“Vamat?” Jik soothed.

“Dikdik is a poo face…” he muttered and Ehle began to laugh, “Shut up, ‘leet!” Ehle stopped laughing, “He learn his tempers from your type!”

“Vamat! Be nice!” Jik helped up the black armoured Grunt, “These ‘leets are nice so be nice to them.” Jik watched as Vamat kicked Dikdik in the head, “Vamat! That includes him!” there were sounds of disgruntled struggles as Jik helped Dikdik from the ground, “Dikdik, be nice too…?”

“Fine… but tell Vamat me no speaky to him now…” Dikdik folded his arms and looked away indignantly.

Jik sighed, “He’s right here… tell him yourse--”

“Tell him!”

“Jik, tell Dikdik, he is a poo face…” Vamat said indifferently.

Jik looked to Vamat, “But he’s just…”

“Tell Vamat he eats poo…”

“Dikdik! You said you’d be nice!” Jik growled back to him.

Dikdik pointed at Vamat angrily, “He started it!”

“I don’t care! You contin--”

“Jik, tell Dikdik he IS poo…”

“Ooooohhh!” the surrounding grunts all stared at Dikdik, as if the argument had finished him. The argument seemed to have been won.

Until…

“Jik, tell Vamat…” Dikdik searched for words, “… that… he… piddles his self!!!” he finished triumphantly.

Jik slapped herself in the forehead, “By the rings…”

“But Vamat already knows that!” the one named Piptik interjected, “Heh, me remembers yesterday! Weeee-wee-wee-wee-weeeee!”
He proceeded to hold himself around the groin and dance in a circle while his two comrades joined in after him, singing, “We needs to pee! We needs to pee! Wee-wee-wee! Wee-wee-wee!”

Jik narrowed her eyes to the three, “Piptik, Nanik, Mazap!” she slammed a foot down on the floor making them stop dancing, “Shut UP!” she glared icily around at every halfling in the room, “Anyone not s’posed to be here, get out!” she thrust a talon in the direction of the door, “Exchange Seraphs leave in one hour, if you all aren’t ready for dispatch, by the Rings these ‘leets will eat you!”

Onward to Created and Consumed: Ch 7 Pt 2