Deep and Dark
A poem by [Tekkon KinKreet] and [Artsy]

dark and hollow...
Deep and Dead
Four words
I often find in my head

Driving and tearing
pushing me on
Straining my mind
I just don't have the time
To stop and rearrange
My mind

I tear at my hair
And pick at my brain
Trying to find the problem
To kill the strain

But what is the problem?
That troubles me so
And leaves me huddled
I just don't know

Those four words
I can't drive them away
Over and over
Again and again they play

A broken record
A forgotten tune
Lyrics that don't rhyme
And end too soon

The pain intense
Jarring to my ears
A hammer to my mind
I fear it will continue for years

But maybe, there's no music
Maybe.. there's no sound
Maybe I'm dreaming
And only silence resounds

But what's the point
If it's only a dream
Dreams are tied to reality
Confused... I want to scream

I see the everlasting Eternity
Of life, and endlessly
I turn around again to find
The darkness, that has never been kind

And out of the darkness I fell
Is to return my destiny?
To return to the place
I fell from like a star?
My heart begins to race.

The beating echos in my head like a drum
Loud and deep
I bleed on the inside and wonder
Why
Absence of sanity does not make me grow fonder

What's this feeling
A feeling of total dread
My bocking locking and quaking in it's throes
Is this death
Am I dead?

I see no Heaven, nor Hell
No Nirvana
Blinded by light and yet lost in darkness
A never ending sea of misery

I search for escape
But I find nothing
And all I can do
Is begin running

The ground is rough
I stumble
But do not fall
I feel myself bleeding
And trying
To carry on
Through it all

No scratch I see
No wound I feel
But there must be at least one
Again I ask if this is real

A dream or
Nightmare, it seems
But better yet
A reality of things, unseen

And then it comes to me
The reason I bleed
A broken heart...
It must be!!

An ache unnoticed
A pain translucent
I wonder how
Others get through this

And suddenly I wonder...
How will I
Will I actually make it?
Or will I rot and die?

I'd prefer the latter
But the first may be better
Others would say to carry on
But I would rather see no more dawns

But in the end it is my choice
The only thing left is to pick one way
To left, to the right, such a hard decision
I speak to myself
Afraid of my own voice

It's quiet and timid
Scared and alone
The one way looks scary
The other goes home
Is it worth the risk to try something new?

To not worry anymore would be nice
But my pride tells me I can't quit
The decision is driving me to insanity
Suddenly, I sit,

Words clashing in my brain
They play tag with my thoughts
Interupting for their own delight
It feels.... strange

Their laughter seems to echo
Through the crevaces of my mind
It's hard to hear or think of anything
When there are echos all the time

I feel the walls breaking
The walls in my head
Just to stop the breaking
Would justify being dead

So my mental barriers crumble
My ideas turn to ruin
And a darkness creeps inside my head
To play a different tune