Distraction.
Original



"Well, you seem depressed."

The suddenness of the voice startled Mathais so badly that he cried out in surprise and spun about to stare with wide-eyes at the assailant of his thoughts. With a little laugh of relief, Mathais realized it was only Yami. He smiled, though there was a certain sadness to it (Yami noticed), "Yami, it's just you." He voiced out-loud in his heavy, though rather attractive accent, then leaned back against the railing. "You scared me." The Elf admitted softly, and absentmindedly his eyes unwillingly drifted away and a touch of melancholy reached his usually jubilant face.

"So it would seem." The ex-prince replied, his voice equally soft. Yami too leaned against the railing of the ship and stared absently out at the seemingly endless sea of blue. The wind danced across the surface of the ocean and it churned unhappily with its sluggish tango with the water. "You seem distracted."

"Huh?" Mathais asked, looking back to him, "Oh, yeah... My thoughts are a bit scattered."

"Oh?" Yami didn't seem to be pushing for a reason, but the quirk of his delicate eyebrow signaled that he was indeed curious.

Mathais averted his azure eyes away again and his left eye twitched involuntarily. He made no effort to elaborate, so Yami let him be. The ex-prince knew that Mathais' was a beat-around-the-bush sort of guy, and wouldn't speak about anything he didn't want to. It would be a waste of time to press him for an answer.

Yami tapped his palms on the top of the railing, "Maybe it's just sea sickness?" He said lightly and turned to leave.

"Wait." The protest was soft, weak.

Yami's heeled boots clacked loudly on the wooden deck, and he almost didn't hear him, but he more so sensed his friends distress and the demon came to a stop, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yami, wait..." Mathais said again. The ex-prince turned about, blinking his crimson eyes questioningly. "...Do you have anything in your past that you regret?" The red-head asked finally, reluctantly.

Yami's eyes softened, and a regretful smile graced his lips, "I do, yes."

"...How do you forget about them?" Mathais asked quieter, almost mumbling.

Yami made his way back to his friends side, but this time he came close enough that when he leaned against the railing their arms touched. Yami breathed in the salty air for a moment, watching the gulls swoop about the boat as they greedily searched for food, "Forgetting isn't always the best thing to do, Mathais. You forgive, but you never forget."

"What if the person who needs forgiving is myself?" Mathais asked.

The two stared at each other for a long moment. Red eyes searching the seemingly endless expanse of the others exquisite blue ones. The silence stretched on until finally, "Are you going to tell me why you're so upset with yourself?" Yami finally asked, and there was a hint of annoyance in his usually calm voice.

Mathais flinched and dropped his head, staring down at his his interlaced fingers. "..."

"You trust me with your past, don't you?"

"...You may think less of me."

Yami laughed heartily at this. "Mathais, you know all about me. I was in love with my brother, in fact, I still am. My mother is so heartbroken by my betrayal to our kingdom that she cries herself to sleep every night, my father; he's insane due to my very existence. I've murdered, I've stolen, I'm a heretic and a non-believer of our Goddesses. And you fear that I may respect you less as a person when I have no room to judge?" Yami shook his head, laughing softly still. "Try me, Mathais."

"I haven't even told Ryshar..." Mathais admitted. "...I'm afraid he just wouldn't say anything. He'd listen, I'm sure of that... But..." Mathais began to unconsciously grip his fingers together and his hands began to tremble. "What if he just didn't say anything?"

Yami stared quietly at his friends shaking hands and felt a pang of guilt in his own heart. He had no answer for his friend. Ryshar was unpredictable. He could be silent; or more than likely he'd scoff and just tell Mathais to get over it. Mathais obviously couldn't just 'get over it'. There was something he was hiding, and it wasn't pleasant.

"Just... start from the beginning." Yami said softly, encouragingly.

Mathais nodded.

~*~

There was a crash of something fragile, it sounded like a picture frame--or maybe the vase his mother cherished so deeply, followed by a scream of distress.

Mathais bolted up in his bed, wide-eyed. His brother and sister followed suit--all three of the children looking equally terrified. There were more screams, shouting, protests, the sound of a scuffle, but the most chilling was the sound of their mothers continuously begging--but for what, they weren't sure.

"Mathais, hide with Mariah." Zikuhl said sternly, at least as sternly as a frightened young boy could. The nine year old ushered his younger siblings out of their beds and into the nearby closet. "I'll find out what's happening."

"No, don't Zikuhl!" Mariah begged, and tears of fear spilt down her face. She clung to Mathais who held her back. He was frozen with fear, his eyes were wide and he stared in amazement at his brave brother.

"I'll be back!" Zikuhl said and then he disappeared out of the room.

Mathais tried to shush his little sisters sobbing with soft words and stroking her shock of red hair comfortingly. He was scared, as should any seven year old who huddled in the closest with their four year old sister as their mother sobbed in the other room, and their big brother had heroically gone to aid her and their father. It seemed like eternity until Zikuhl returned. With him was their mother. She was sobbing still, and her hair was a beautiful crimson mess about her hysterical face. She was clinging to Zikuhl as she walked, sobbing harder still upon seeing her two younger children emerge from the closet. The two quickly ran to comfort their mother; they hadn't ever seen her cry before.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Mariah pleaded.

"Your F-Father, your Father." The hysterical women sobbed, and reached out to bring all three of her children into a tight hug. "He's gone, babies. He's gone... They took him away... Oh, Goddesses, why?" She wailed, and unable to contain herself any longer she dropped her face into her hands and cried harder.

Her three children stood mutely, mouths opened and stared.

Gone? Their father was gone? Why was he gone? Where did he go? When would he be back?

~*~

"It wasn't until later that I found out my father had been taken away and hanged because he was unable to pay taxes again." Mathais said, his voice was toneless, his eyes distant and a little disturbed, as if he couldn't quite push that haunting memory of his mother weeping out of his eyes.

"..." Yami mouth was parted slightly in an expected reply, but he was unable to say anything for a long moment, until shaking his head and trying to clear his initial shock he finally asked, "They hung him because he couldn't pay taxes?"

"Yeah, stupid, huh?" Mathais laughed, though it was without humor. "Take away a man with a wife and three kids. It... still doesn't make sense to me now."

"Where was it you lived?"

"Kaoidji."

Yami made a face. "Kaoidji? Where is that?"

"East. Very far east." (That explains the accent, Yami thought absently) Mathais waved his hand as if to say 'that's-not-important'. "Our Mayor was insane. He was power hungry and taxed the hells out of the citizens. As long as he was fat and happy he didn't care who got killed and for what."

"That's..."

"Horrible? I know." Mathais rubbed his hands together, as if trying to bring feeling back to them. "He was a good father from what I remember. He loved us... He loved us a lot. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Mom or us kids." He smiled faintly, "Mom..." He rubbed his eyes and Yami couldn't help but be suspicious that it was to brush away tears, "Mom died four years later. The doctor said it was pneumonia. After that, they took our house away, our money, all our possessions and kicked us out onto the streets. They tried to put us into an orphanage, but they told us there was no guarantee that we'd be together. So Zikuhl took us and we ran.

"We spent the next thirty years on the streets. I became a con-artist/theif and swindled people for their money, Zikuhl was a pick-pocket, and Mariah became a street dancer. Between the three of us we had enough money to survive, but with Zikuhl and I stealing things we became somewhat infamous. We were in gangs, we hurt people, though I can't ever remember killing anyone... But, I guess that hardly matters... Then one day..."

~*~

"Mariah?" Mathais questioned, peaking up onto the performing stage from the side.

"Mathais!" She called, smiling brightly. She had grown to be quite beautiful with her long wavy red locks, her tiny, but gracefully curving body that had a long swaying dress clinging about her dancer body so that it moved with as much grace as the woman who wielded the folds with her movements. "Come to bring me home, big brother?"

"Yes, yes, hurry up." Mathais said, rolling his eyes and waving a hand in the air. "You're too slow for your own good."

Mariah laughed, "Okay, I'm going to go say goodbye to others." She disappeared from the stage and behind the curtains. Mathais could hear her laughing and saying her goodbyes and couldn't help but smile. Mariah was such a breath of fresh air... "Ready?" She asked, jumping down from stage and landing beside her brother. Mathais tipped an invisible hat towards her and the two started off into the crowds towards their 'home'.

"Anything new today?" Mathais asked, eyes darting about to search for potential dangerous rival gangs, the guards, or perhaps just someone to con the hell out of.

"Not really, just the usual."

"Guard." Mathais said casually, taking her by the elbow and steering her down an alley. He wasn't quite aware of this area of town, since he mostly avoided it because it was unnecessary to go through it.

/This place makes me feel uneasy/

~*~

"And that was the last thing I remember thinking." Mathais said. "Next thing I knew I was waking up on the ground covered in my own blood and my sister was gone. When I tried to get up, I realized my skull was split open." He swallowed thickly, "I don't think you know what it feels like to have a breeze against your...brain." Mathais shuddered, "To say the least, I collapsed again and puked until I couldn't anymore. It was really unpleasant. I blacked out again, and the next time I woke up I was at 'home'. Zikuhl had bandaged me all up and he kept asking me where Mariah was. I tried to tell him I didn't know, but I couldn't talk. I couldn't say anything. I could think the words, but.. I just couldn't say anything. It was really frustrating.

I was in and out of it for about a month after that. It turns out that a guard had split my head open with a club, thought I was dead, and after realizing I was a wanted criminal took my sister saying she was aiding and abiding to a wanted criminal. They had her on trial for three months." There was silence, and it was deafening; painful.

Mathais didn't realize that he had stopped talking.

"Then what happened?"

Mathais looked at the smaller man, "...They publicly executed her. Death by guillotine." He was shaking and there were tears standing in his eyes. "She hadn't done anything, Yami. She was a good person. She didn't deserve it. I wanted to stop it... I wanted to stop it so badly. But the second I saw that guillotine..." He swayed on the spot, reaching up to touch his hand over his eyes. Yami steadied him quickly, eyebrows furrowed with worry. "...I fainted. Fainted right there in the middle of that crowd instead of rescuing her like Zikuhl had planned. By the time I came to it was too late to do anything." He shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing a trail of tears down his face. "I remember hearing that blade sliding down... It was the most horrible sound I had ever heard. Then the...the sound of..."

"Mathais, just stop." Yami said softly, he was literally holding the red-haired Elf up and without his support he would surely collapse to the ground. "It wasn't your fault."

"But it was." Mathais yelled hoarsely. "I took her into that alley. Then she was captured, and because she was with me she was taken in. Then she was killed because of me. Because of me, Yami. Me! If we had just gone to the orphanage..."

Yami was getting physically spent from holding the heavier man up and very slowly he brought Mathais to the ship deck where he sat him down and knelt in front of him. The ex-prince wiped the red-heads tears away, "...What did you do after that?"

"What?"

"What happened next. That wasn't the end."

"...No. No it wasn't." Mathais said faintly, his eyes searching the others. "A few years after that, I lost everything."

~*~

Three years later…

Mathais shivered, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring up into the night sky. His breath left him in clouds of white. He shivered again, glancing about. Zikuhl was suppose to meet him here at the dock--they were suppose to catch a ship with an old friend and sail down the peninsula to a new town to set up. It had become harder and harder to conceal their identities, so finally the brothers had decided it was time to move on. Leave everything behind.

The sound of footsteps caught Mathais' attention and the red-head turned around.

Zikuhl emerged from the shadows. His face was strangely blank of emotions, his red-hair was slicked back, and even more strange was that he held his dagger unsheathed in his hand.

"Took you long enough, Zikuhl." Mathais said lightly, smiling at him.

"It hasn't been long enough." Zikuhl replied, his voice deathly quiet, his eyes narrowing.

"...Right." Mathais said, tilting his head. "Are you okay?"

"...How can you just smile? How can you just laugh like that?" Zikuhl hissed, storming forward. Mathais smile dropped from his face as his brother grabbed him by the front of his collar and jerked him off his feet. "How can you just go back to normal? How!?"

"Zikuhl...?" Mathais asked, startled, staring up into his brothers enraged face.

"Don't you 'Zikuhl' me, you son of a bitch!"

For some reason Mathais was surprised when pain erupted in his abdomen. He let out a cry of pain and crumbled onto himself. When he tried to sit up he felt something tearing into him. The Elf raised his fingers up to see that they were covered in blood. His eyes drifted lower--his brothers dagger was embedded up to the hilt. Mathais' blue eyes continued to blink unbelievingly.

Zikuhl stood over him, breathing heavily through his teeth his fist cocked back as if he wanted to pummel his fists into his brothers unsuspecting face.

His brother...

With sudden realization at what he had done, Zikuhl Stone took several steps back, his mouth working soundlessly for an excuse. His brothers eyes followed him desperately, as if begging for help. With one last terrified stare, Zikuhl turned and sprinted off into the darkness.

~*~

"That was the last time I saw him." Mathais stared blankly up at the blue sky and he was unconsciously holding his hand to his stomach, presumably where his brother had stabbed him.

"When was it the last time you talked about this?" Yami asked quietly.

"You're the first." Mathais said, and a hint of his joyful self was present in the tone.

Yami sighed softly and reached out to wrap his arms around his friend. Shakily Mathais reached up and patted the small ex-prince on the back. "You're always smiling, Mathais... It's hard to tell that you went through so much..."

"Yeah..." the red-head agreed.

"But, Mathais..." Yami sat back, placing both his hands to Mathais' face and turning it so their eyes met. "Your past is tragic, but it isn't your fault. Your father was killed because of a flawed system, your mother died from something you couldn't control, your sister was unjustly tried, and your brother lost himself in his grief. They're all things you couldn't or could have ever controlled."

Mathais nodded half-heartidly and reached up to take the demons tiny wrists and pull his hands away from his own face. "That's what I try to tell myself."

"This is something only you can overcome. The past can hurt, I know this. But it can also make you stronger. And you are a strong person, Mathais. Anyone who can smile like you do and bring joy to those around them has to be a strong person."

"Yeah, I guess."

Yami smiled, but before he could say anything the monotone voice of a good friend of theirs startled the two men sitting on the deck of the boat.

"The hell are you fruits doing?" Ryshar asked flatly. Yami swore with surprise and Mathais jumped. Both looked menacingly to the snowy-haired man standing over them, holding a bottle of rum in one hand. Ryshar raised an eyebrow at them with amusement then took a swig of his drink. "Having a tea party?"

"Actually..." Mathais said softly, blinking down at his hands. "Ryshar... Have a seat.. I want to tell you something."

Ryshar sighed, rolling his golden eyes, and took another swig before he settled himself cross-legged on the deck beside them. Yami patted Mathais' hand encouragingly.

"Ryshar, you know how you've always asked about my past before, and I always refused to tell you...?"

The snowy-eyebrows raised, "Yeah?"

"Well... I want to tell you."

Ryshar studied his friend for a moment, and upon realizing the seriousness, nodded gravely.

Mathais took a deep breath, and for the second time that day, and his life, opened up to his two, and only, friends. They were after all, his family.

[Ramirez]



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